Do you ever wish you could skip Shabbos?

amother

Lime ↓

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 5:31 am

I grew up OUD and with less restrictive tznius. I could show my calves as long as my knees were always covered.

I would love to be able to leave off knee highs and tights on vacation and wear an Isreali teichel especially at the beach. I would love to not have to toot milk or scramble for it. I would love to be able to Double wrap in a microwave.

I am going away for 3 weeks this summer and am already dreading everything I need to bring when I can purchase national brands. I have to plan my restocking of milk and meats.

I would love to be able to go to family simchas and not have them go through all the extra prep for us.

↑ mommy3b2c ↓

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 5:41 am

amother wrote:

This is all different then what op is saying. You are talking chumra not Halacha. I don't do these chumras, so I don't resent them.

bandcm

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 5:50 am

I would never want to have a break from any mitzvas, but Shabbos is one thing I would love to have a break from. I love Shabbos itself, but I run a busy Chabad House and Shabbos means cooking for thirty-forty people, fancy menu, setting up, then getting dressed up and entertaining (I am an introvert, I hate entertaining! I wish I could be a maid who does all the work and then retreats to the back kitchen when the guests come).

PinkFridge ↓

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 6:58 am

Machel wrote:

*I am posing this strictly as a hypothetical discussion, not as something I would do or recommend to others*

Have you ever wished you could take a break from the "restrictions", either something specific like Kosher or Tznius, or observance as a whole. I was thinking about it recently, we are going on a family vacation with our non religious family to a place with no kosher food or shabbos environment. I have done it before and know how to deal with it to make for an enjoyable vacation, but I was thinking about how much easier it would be if I could take a break from being "religious". Just while I was on the vacation. Or there are times when something important is happening on Shabbos or YT and I will think "just this once I wish it wasn't an issue"

Maybe its because I am BT so I know what I am missing out on. Most of the time I love being religious and have no intentions on going back to my previous life style. I just think some times how it would be so much easier if there were exceptions to the rules sometimes. Like the movie that came out recently about the day where all laws are suspended.

Has anyone else ever wondered about what it would be like if there was a way to take an allowed break?

Would your family lose respect for you? Would you lose respect for yourself?
I guess it would be interesting if we were given x number of passes, what would you use them on. But this seems like one of those philosophical paradoxes that are so profound I wouldn't be able to get into any such discussion.

wife2

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 7:28 am

Sometimes I think if people could experiment they would see the beauty of Judaism and want to come back. they just need to get some rebellion out of their system. but then too many people wouldnt come back. and instead of it getting out of their system they may want more of it.

sourstix

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 8:12 am

as others have said, not shabbos itself. but the chores and cleanup before it. but shabbos I would never give it up in a million years. the calmest best day of my life. love it love it love it ................. I hate cleaning so the cleaning is my nisayon. oh how I wish I could skip that. but the harder I work before shabos the more I enjoy it. that is what I tell myself. that I will enjoy the peace and beauty. and dont forget the goodies and yummy meals and sitting by the table with my family. what more can I ask for? a non jewish therapist once commented that she sees so many jews have these big dining room tables. and she doesnt have it. I said that we eat the saturday meals there.

Ruchel

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 8:26 am

I don't feel women are supported shabbes wise, as we in most places I am familiar with, have no eruv, and still are expected to make shabbes, love shabbes, and let dh go out to shul. So unfortunately, in turn, I do not really appreciate it outside of the meals and songs, especially when it hinders health (noise from kids giving me migraine).

I have no problem with tznius, kosher can be challenging but (maybe because I live in a place that is lucky kashrus wise) I don't find it too problematic. Ok, nidda is the worst.

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 8:51 am

I think my post may have been unfair. Because I'm imagining using a pass (use your imagination) and afterwards going, bleh, even if I have a pass so I won't get punished, I did this??
But that's not empathetic enough to OP, who has a genuinely stressful situation to deal with. I hope you have a surprisingly and refreshingly easy time next time you deal with it, and simcha shel mitzvah, always.

mommyla

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 9:04 am

sky wrote:

NO.

Its fantastic to have a day that I cannot work no matter the deadline, I don't get e-mails, answer the phone. Very little distractions.

The preparations I can sometimes do without.

This. I love Shabbos but I'd love it if someone else would do the cooking, cleaning, and prep for me once in a while. I like my own food so takeout or eating out doesn't count. I want to be home, with my food and my family, but I just don't want to do it myself! Oh well, can't have everything, right?

I would never give up Shabbos. Tznius is a different story. Nidda too. Kashrus - nope, though I'd like to pay nonkosher prices for my kosher food, and I wouldn't mind not having to wait after fleishigs.

amother

Pearl ↓

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 9:19 am

I'm Nidda so much more than Tahor. I wish we get a pass with the Sheva Neki'm

I don't mind hair covering but hate to have to completely cover my neckline, arms, and wear tights, and no full red clothing etc.

It doesn't help that the Chareidi communities are busy focusing on nitty gritty added Chumrahs.

Miri7

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 9:30 am

Like others posted, I would never take a "pass" on Shabbat. It is what keeps me sane. Even when I'm hosting a bunch of people. I have a lot of rachmanus for people who run Chabad or other kiruv homes and have to be "on" and entertain a bunch of folks each week.

But I would definitely take a break from Shabbat preparation. If someone offered me one year of free pre-shabbat cooking and cleaning, I would take it in a heartbeat!!

black sheep

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 9:32 am

I think it is very important to put yourself in an environment where you enjoy the mitzvos. this means different things for different people, but certainly nobody enjoys the feeling of shabbos when it is all about being left out due to the restrictions. if you are away from home, spending vacation time with people who don't keep shabbos, of course you will not appreciate it! that is not really "shabbos," it is only the restrictions.

I cannot think of any mitzvah I would want to skip, but I do remember one shabbos that I was at a conference in a hotel, basically the only jewish person there. that shabbos was all about the restrictions, and I was exhausted by the end of it. it wasn't shabbos, it was only the restrictions of shabbos.

if you want to enjoy the mitzvos, you have to be in the right environment to enjoy the mitzvos. it is okay to sometimes not be in that environment, but it is important to recognize that the mitzvos are not the issue, it is the environment.

Raisin ↓

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 9:37 am

when I had only little kids and could never get to shul shabbos (no eruv, hardly any frum families nearby) was a nightmare. Now its more enjoyable. I go to shiur summer shabbos afternoons which helps a lot.

Last edited by Raisin on Fri, Jun 12 2015, 9:37 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Papaya

Fri, Jun 12 2015, 9:54 am

I have wished I could get a "pass". None of my family is religious, and I have missed so many cousin's weddings, the beginning of a grandparent's funeral, a celebration of life for another family member. All huge events that I would have loved to go to, and it was impossible to go and keep Shabbos, so I couldn't. And I know that my family thinks I'm crazy and disrespectful because of it. So yes, I've considered it on those days. I love Shabbos and I won't stop keeping it, but I do sometimes resent the things it makes me miss.

I also would love to feed my kids on long drives with something other than nosh and sandwiches, and for my mother and grandmother to be able to cook for them or take them for a week like how I grew up. But these are the sacrifices we make and at the end of the day, I wouldn't change it.