How do you light shabbos candles?

I am posting as amother because this is very embarrassing. I'm married for quite anumber of months now, but not sure how to light the shabbos candles. When do you wave your hands? when do u say the bracha, before or after waving hands three times? are u supposed to say anythign specific when you cover your eyes? I say the yehi ratzon afterwrds, but am really unsure about everything else. TIA.

Posted: Sun, Jan 04 2009, 11:05 am Post subject:

you wave your hands before you say the bracha, then yehi razton and then a private prayer of anything that you want.

Posted: Sun, Jan 04 2009, 11:17 am Post subject:

You can change the order of the last 2, and they are optional.

Don't be embarrassed! we had another thread on lighting candles a few months ago, and I asked dh about something there (can't remember what) and it turned out I didn't know I was supposed to look at the candles straight after the bracha. I used to continue covering my eyes for personal tefillas and only uncover them to say the yehi ratzon. Now I look at the candles and then cover my eyes again. And I've been married for 16 years! (Thank you imamother!)
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If your minhag is sephardi, you make the beracha before you light. If it is ashkenaz, shalhevet has it perfect. Very Happy

I do exactly like Shalhevet, saying the yehi ratzon before personal tefilos.

This thread really got me to stop and think about what I thought was instinctive. It isn't; it's generations of minhag.

Last night when my 2 year old was singing Yemei HaChanukah (Oy Chanukah Oy Chanukah in Hebrew - and yes, even though Chanukah is over he is still singing it), I thought about my grandparents dancing and singing this song with us in my parents' home when I was a little girl. Obviously they saw it in their parents' homes, and, I'm guessing, so on back in the generations. So that's at least five generations I know about in my family that sang this song and observed Chanukah this way (even though not everyone was so frum), and now my 2 year old is continuing the tradition.

For me, it really puts my time in this world in a larger perspective.
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I've actually been meaning to ask this question for a while, but when saying shehechiyanu for yom tov, at what point in the process do you look at the candles? before or after shehechiyanu?

For Yom Tov, first I say Lehadlik Ner Shel Yom Tov, then I light, then I say Shehecheyanu. I was told this is correct. I don't remember who told me this. Anyone know if it's right?

Obviously if Yom Tov is on Shabbos, or for Yom Kippur, I light first and then say both brachos.

Posted: Tue, Jan 06 2009, 4:42 pm Post subject:

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Do you blow out the match or silver candle thing after you light or do you let the match burn itself out or light the last candle from another?
In one halacha class I learnt that you can't blow the match/candle out b/c you have lit and may have accepted shabbos even without the bracha and in another I learnt that you can blow out the match/candle because it is minhag yisrael I think.
So I tend to be uncertain and switch on and off.

I don't blow it out, I put it on a little silver dish that I have next to the candles.

And do you light candles or oil? I always lit candles and then 2 weeks ago decided to switch to oil.

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I can't find containers that hold olive oil anywhere and I've even searched brooklyn!! People seem to mostly light liquid wax which seems pointless to me since the hiddur is olive oil as far as I know.

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I wave the match out.
My sister in law I've seen lets her kids blow it out, but I don't know what she did before she was able to do that.
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I bought pretty shot glasses, which I half fill with water and then top up with olive oil (extra virgin) put a wick in.

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Posted: Tue, Jan 06 2009, 5:50 pm Post subject:

Posted: Tue, Jan 06 2009, 5:54 pm Post subject:

You are not supposed to blow out a flame (not just Shabbos candles). There's a kabbalistic reason, I think, because a person's soul is compared to a candle.