Brachos out loud or derech eretz

Posted: Fri, Oct 31 2008, 1:46 pm Post subject: brachos out loud or derech eretz

I know the title isn't that great, but I couldn't figure out how to write it.

Here's my question...
I know that they're both important, but is it more important to teach a child to do a mitzvah that only involves himself or ones that involves other? An example, I know some children who's so careful about saying the brachos out loud and have other people also say it out loud, so they can say amen. But when it comes to derech eretz, it's down the drain, or at least to some extent.

Amother because, otherwise you'll know who I'm talking about.

Posted: Fri, Oct 31 2008, 1:59 pm Post subject:

I don't understand the question? You can't work on both things? I work on many different things with my kids.
_________________
Sunday social program forming in Brooklyn for children with social delays. Pm me for more info
~complimentary ad for being a mod

Posted: Fri, Oct 31 2008, 2:04 pm Post subject:

Posted: Fri, Oct 31 2008, 2:43 pm Post subject:

I guess you can't do anything about it, right? Be glad your kids treat others with respect.

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 03 2007 Posts: 4448

Everybody has weaker middos and stronger middos. We all have certain mitzves that we do really good - and others that we need to work on. Although it is easy to expect a person real dedicated to certain mitzves to be likewise the same with other mitzves, it is unfortunately not always the case.

Posted: Fri, Oct 31 2008, 3:22 pm Post subject:

I hear your question amother - but I think that much of the influence over the two examples you gave come from school. MEaning, becuase in school children are taught the brachos out loud and they tend to mimic what and how they are taught, we often hear them saying the brachos out loud (it doesn't hurt that we encourage teh same behavior at home to ensure they are saying their brachos properly) - however, when there is so much to teach at school, many more "life skills", of which I consider derech eretz to be one, get less emphasis. It is not to say that teaching derech eretz is the responsibility of the school, I am a very very firm believer that this of all behaviors is best demontrated and leaned by osmosis from home. Nonetheless, derech eretz is a 24/7 type of behavior as should, as a person grows, become part of his or her nature, whereas brachos are time specific - you want to eat that apple; say a bracha and therefore easier to adopt as a behavior.

As you said, you cannot change others - as your children grow, they will strengthen the middos and mitzvos you encourage - that is all we can work towards.

Posted: Fri, Oct 31 2008, 3:40 pm Post subject:

Both are halacha, and great ones to work on. With brachos out loud, I realized that the ONLY way the kids will do it is if we do it, period. So now it’s the norm in our house. D”E I feel is on ongoing project, for life.
_________________
�Floss only the teeth you want to keep.�

In many circles people don't do brachos in a way you can hear at all. And no, not talking MO or level, but I find Americans to do it often loudly, as well as kiddush, while most Europeans (uninfluenced) don't.
_________________

"You will have many many children and make successful shidduchim beh", rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
"It's all cultural, disagree respectfully", me

Posted: Sat, Nov 01 2008, 2:19 pm Post subject:

Huh? Who doesn't say kiddush out loud?
_________________
Certified Childbirth Educator
Certified Pregnancy Massage Therapist
Certified Doula

Posted: Sun, Nov 02 2008, 8:28 am Post subject:

Posted: Sun, Nov 02 2008, 9:03 am Post subject:

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151

Posted: Sun, Nov 02 2008, 11:35 am Post subject: