Doing girly stuff for boys, or boyish stuff for girls

if you only have kids of one gender, do you ever "let out your shpilkes" on the kid of the wrong gender? Like if your husband is into sports and you have only daughters, does he do sports and roughhouse with them?
If you have only boys, do you ever put on nail polish/makeup on them if they ask you to? Make nice hairstyles like braids in their hair (thanks mimi)

What do you think of doing such a thing?
Do you think it "ruins their gender identity"?

I don't braid my boys' hair...I just started that thread because I saw it and was curious about how people felt about it...my boys, as I said, have such short hair that I can barely get it in a ponytail before their upsherin, much less braids Laughing

It's funny, but I think I really have a boy mom personality...my boys haven't made me like this...I was like this before. Unlike my dh, I am not really into asthetics. I have to train myself to see things and to create order. It doesn't come naturally to me. I was never really into dolls and pretty things. I was a tom boy and played war games and climbed trees with my brother. I read alot of books and got into politics at an early age. I envy my husband who wears black and white because he doesn't have to decide what to wear! So no, I don't feel the urge to dress them up pretty or anything...I'm happy to share "boy things" with them (except I have no interest in their car obsession...but it doesn't bug me)

If I have a girl, I am really going to have to "get my act together" and be a better "female" role model in how I dress, keep the house etc.. Wink

am not in any rush... Laughing

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Posted: Mon, Oct 20 2008, 5:29 am Post subject:

I have 2 boys and I did buy them a doll and I know quite a few ppl who get their boys doll-strollers altho I havent got one yet.
One purim I dressed my son as a girl (he didnt look very cute).
I miss sometimes the idea of having girly ribbons n bows n ballet n pink etc
I do like to match my boys socks to their t-shirts n kipas an if their hair is in a pony the holder also in the same colour.
But as for boy or girl activities I try not to let sterotype dictate too much. I have no probs with girls playing sports or boys cooking. the only thing being in a frum world is I cant see how a boy cud get away with dance lessons!!!

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 29 2007 Posts: 12057

I have two girls. my older daughter is all into trains, blocks & climbing all over things. now that she's in school we are getting into dress up, girl volors vs boy colors & hopscotch. she never cared what clothes I put on her as long as they were comfortable & now she's getting all into "twirly" dresses. all these things were her own doing though. I've never pushed her to "conform" to any preformed gender notions (ok besides past a certain age we wear skirts).

Posted: Mon, Oct 20 2008, 5:48 am Post subject:

I've been thinking of getting my son a doll.. more for the fact that he's going to be a big brother b'ezrat Hashem in a few months, but I have no problems with him playing house...
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Platinum Member Joined: Aug 29 2007 Posts: 12057

they make so many boy dolls now lately. all the little boys in my neighborhood are pushing thier "sons" around in those little umbrella strollers. one little boy my dd used to play with had one, they took walks together. he rocked the carriage & she "mowed the lawn"

I wouldn't put nailpolish or makeup on a boy if he asked. Nor would I braid his hair.
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"You can say this for ready-mixes - the next generation isn't going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make." ~Earl Wilson

Posted: Sat, Nov 01 2008, 11:51 pm Post subject:

I don't push gender toys on to my kids dd has a doll ds likes to play with it. dd likes trains and cars and climbing and rough housing.

hey, my ds pushes a pink stroller all day with a bulldog stuffed animal in it. Is favorite past time:trying to shlep it up the stairs. I wonder where he got that from...

Gold Member Joined: Jul 26 2008 Posts: 2096

Much to the despair of dh, I let Ds play with dolls and strollers and the toy kitchen when he wants. By the same token, dd loves her play toolset as well as her cars...

I would never PUSH one of my kids to play with toys that are usually reserved for the opposite gender, but if they want to play, I'm not going to stand in their way. Besides, I think it's great for little boys to play with dolls. It teaches them a certain degree of tenderness and gentleness.

Now, if ds decides he wants to take ballet classes with dd, then I might have a problem... Smile