Hiring a nonJew to watch the kids so you can go to shul

I think it also depends on the age of the kids. I would have no problem leaving an infant at home, but it would be a different story with older kids. Anyway, I don't have this issue right now, but just sharing my opinion.
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Posted: Thu, Sep 25 2008, 12:35 pm Post subject:

My opinion-no I don't think I would consider a non-jew comming on the high holidays to my house and watch my kids so I can daven, not a good thought for me. Not the kind of chinuch I want my child to have when growing up. Some people rotate with sisters and friends so they can both get a turn to daven in shul. When time will come you will get plenty of years to sit there and pray your heart out.
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Platinum Member Joined: Jun 09 2005 Posts: 11840

Amother, your posts were not deleted because of my opinion on the matter, but because you were rude and used amother to hide.

As evidenced by the fact that most threads contain posts that I disagree with, yet those posts are not deleted.

If you have a concern, please PM me.
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Posted: Thu, Sep 25 2008, 12:40 pm Post subject:

I cannot imagine doing this ever, R"H/Y"K or otherwise.
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Platinum Member Joined: Aug 29 2007 Posts: 12057

I wouldn't. our shul is in a school & on r"h & yk they hire the school custodians to operate a play room. they just supervise. usually the kids who are there are supervised by older siblings anyway. for the past couple of years I go on rosh hashanah for shofar & yk for yizkor & that's about it. I might leave my baby with them for the 20 minutes it takes for tekias shofar, so that I can hear & not ruin the whole shul's mitzvah at the same time. I also need someone to watch my kids during yizkor. if my dh can't do it, I might leave them there for 5 minutes. that would be about it though

Silver Member Joined: Dec 18 2006 Posts: 694 Location: NY

Honestly, I find this entire post to be so offensive. In my community (Riverdale), it is totally acceptable to hire a babysitter on the chagim. Everyone has been asking around for the past few weeks trying to find someone. I have a 14 month old, who I bring to shul EVERY Shabbos, and at this age I find it almost impossible to keep him in shul without disturbing others. He's just at that age when he babbles away and doesn't understand "shh." We end up spending our entire time in the hallway. That is not how I want to spend my time in shul.

For the holidays, our regular full-time babysitter (a --gasp-- non-Jew) will watch him in the mornings so we can go to shul. That way, he can still get his nap and make it through the day without becoming a tired, cranky, sad baby. For Yom Kippur she will probably stay the whole day so that we can nap and he can still go for walks, etc. We will take him to shul with us for a while in the morning before she arrives...just enough time for him to appreciate it before needing to leave.

I do not feel guilty for this---or rather, I didn't until I read this posts. I take my davening seriously too, and I would feel very sad not being able to daven in shul. And I respect the other members of my shul enough not to bring a noisy baby in with me.

As for hiring a non-Jewish babysitter ever, that has been discussed on other forums and I have stated my opinion.

People are so quick to judge, though. So so quick to judge. Go ahead, I'm sure you will all have plenty to criticize me about.

Gold Member Joined: Mar 23 2007 Posts: 1874 Location: NY

Yeah, I live in Riverdale, too. It is a widely acceptable practice here to leave one's kids with nonJews whether for a regular child care situation or on the chagim...which brought on my comment that I often feel alone in my parenting hashkafah....and led to this whole thread.
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Silver Member Joined: Dec 18 2006 Posts: 694 Location: NY

I guess I just feel like I will not be able to properly daven to Hashem for me AND my child while standing crammed in the hallway of shul. Like a few hours away from my son is going to hurt him. Don't think so.

part of my avoda on rosh hashana and (especially!) yom kippur is to take care of my children without losing my patience. I once listened to something online on aish.com regarding this.

I would never leave my children with a non-jewish person (sorry if that's not politically correct, but too bad. I don't feel comfortable with that. I don't leave my babies with most people (religious ones even)).

It just seems hypocritical to me.

Diamond Member Joined: May 26 2008 Posts: 2613

yeah, I'm only going to shofar blowing. Or a special women's blowing.

Can't wait for simchas torah. Then I will take all my kids to shul...

In my community, the shul has babysitting in the shul, run by non-jewish women who are mostly people's cleaning ladies and regular babysitters. I'm one of the only people who doesn't use them. Yes, it's very uplifting to hear RH davening, but at what expense??

I would never leave the kids with a non-jew, never, not on any day of the year. There is absolutely nothing wrong with davening at home. We are not men, we are not required or even requested to daven in Shul. Davening privately at home is just perfect, and if a mother can't even do that, then that's also okay. I think it's hypocritical for someone to go to shul on RH - a WANT not a NEED - instead of doing her real job which is caring for her children.

And to those who mock us mothers who actually put our kids needs first, why not admit that although the non-jewish babysitter can provide for most of your baby's physical needs, they do nothing (at best) for their spirituality. What a lousy way to start off the year.

I'm surprised that all of you ladies are only speaking based on your emotions and NOT ONE OF YOU has said why not ask a rov what to do. Well I DID, and I will be leaving my kids at home with my regular babysitter.
Now what do you have to say?

Posted: Sun, Sep 28 2008, 1:17 pm Post subject:

let's put it this way. I don't even need to ask my Rav because these are MY feelings about MY children.

if I guard my jewelry...how much more so my children.
if I guard my meat, my kashrus...how much more so my children.
if we accompany a Sefer Torah...how much more so my "living Sefer Torahs."

my children are holy and precious neshamas entrusted to me from Hashem. be it a non-Jew, a secular Jew, or the frummest of the frum that I don't know...I am careful.