Chevra Kadisha

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151

Someone in her early forties told me that she had planned, when she turned 40, to join the chevra kadisha (burial society that prepared the dead for burial), and she did. And she told me about her training and her experiences. The fact that her mother was a member of the chevra kadisha may have made this mitzva something she could relate to more than other people can.

What do you think? Can you see yourself joining a chevra kadisha? I can't. Sad

Posted: Sun, Nov 27 2005, 5:46 pm Post subject: re: Chevra Kadisha

b4 I moved to scranton, someone said to me "you know, you'll have to do tahras. in a small town you wont have a choice". well, I was here 6 months when the mikvah lady asked me if I would like to sub for her sometimes. my first thought was "at least it's not taharas".

as a friend said to me today-"its a form of tahara". thats true- but its a form I prefer. I dont think I could do them, but ive never been asked either.

my mom does them though. I'll tell her to check this thread out and respond.

Posted: Sun, Nov 27 2005, 6:38 pm Post subject: re: Chevra Kadisha

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 24 2005 Posts: 4689

I was recruited to my shul's chevra before my eldest child was born. I was nowhere near 40 but nearly everyone in the community at that time was in their 70's and they needed some younger blood.

At the time I wasn't thinking so much in terms of the chessed shel emes so much as that the chevrah was desperate and I had to answer the call. When we finish a taharah and it was bekovodik and the mes is nicely laid out in the aron, it's a good feeling that we did this last favor for the person.

Platinum Member Joined: May 22 2005 Posts: 13795

I'm on the chevra kadisha here. It's true, in small towns they are often desperate. When I had my last baby, I got a phone call a few weeks after he was born when they said 'mazal tov. Are you available tomorrow morning?'. This time they waited 5 weeks to call me.

I've been doing it since long before age 40 (I was 30 when we moved here and started), but as a nurse, I was a logical choice to ask. I agree with chen - it is a good feeling that you did this last mitzvah for this person b'chavod.

Active Poster Joined: Sep 05 2005 Posts: 72

We are snow birds (we spend the winter here) in Southern California with a small frum community. Two years ago I was asked if I had ever done a Tahara. I replied, "No" but I was willing to help if needed. I did one that year. Last year, none, but so far this year I have done 4. The first time I was a little apprehensive, not knowing what to expect. I found the experience very moving and spiritual. I was afraid of touching a mais, but it was nothing to be concerned about. The women I work with, (it's the same group all the time) are very respectful. I agree with Chen, when the mais is dressed in the Tachrihim and laid in the aron, it is a good feeling that we have done a true "chesed shel emes".
I know it's not for everyone, including Shanie, but, it really is a mitzvah if you can do it.

Posted: Mon, Nov 28 2005, 12:32 am Post subject: re: Chevra Kadisha

This is one of two mitzvos that I am challishing to perform, but don't practically feel like I ever would be able to. It is such a shame, because it is such a beautiful mitzva. Crying or Very sad

Posted: Mon, Nov 28 2005, 5:46 am Post subject: re: Chevra Kadisha

My grandparents belonged to the chevra kadisha and my grandfather was the gabbai of the chevra back in Europe. My grandmother did taharos till she was nearly 80. As a young girl I said that I wanted to join the chevra kadisha when I grow up. My parents were amused, but my mother said that she wouldn't be surprised if I did. I still want to, but I have to wait till I'm out of my childbearing years, since the chevra here doesn't take anyone younger.

Posted: Mon, Nov 28 2005, 8:16 am Post subject: re: Chevra Kadisha

Posted: Mon, Nov 28 2005, 8:20 am Post subject: re: Chevra Kadisha

I guess.

Posted: Mon, Nov 28 2005, 9:12 am Post subject:

my husband was asked to join about 2 weeks after we moved here.... and I have been thinking about it ever since, but fortunately have not been "forced" into a decission yet, as I don't think it's something I could do....

Silver Member Joined: Sep 09 2004 Posts: 548

[quote]I have to wait til I'm out of childbearing years[/quote]
women who are pregnant ideally shouldn't do taharas.
my mother would say the first lady to know she was pregnant was the one arranging the chevra kaddisha
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Platinum Member Joined: May 22 2005 Posts: 13795

Platinum Member Joined: May 22 2005 Posts: 13795

Posted: Mon, Nov 28 2005, 10:00 pm Post subject:

I can't picture doing it in this stage of my life. I hope that doesn't sound selfish. If I lived in a small commuity I might think differently. I am in awe of the women and men who do this mitzva.
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Posted: Tue, Nov 29 2005, 2:06 am Post subject:

I am in awe of the women who have the courage to do this big mitzva. I would not be able to do it.

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 24 2005 Posts: 4689

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151

see this article about a person doing it for the first time (and the comments that follow)

http://www.chabad.org/magazine/article.asp?AID=341464

Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2006, 3:43 pm Post subject: re: Chevra Kadisha

And what about the rates the chapels charge? Do the chevra kadisha not get paid? If so, Where does these thousands of dollars go?

Posted: Thu, Jan 12 2006, 3:57 pm Post subject: re: Chevra Kadisha

BS"D
I was asked once to go for some little girls. I worked on an ambulance before I was married. I wanted to go, but I was pregnant. I feel like if I can handle it I should do it, since others might have a harder time. Now though, I live in a different community and have a baby. I'd still like to get involved.