DD repeatedly leaves her shoes in the bathroom overnight

She gets undressed for the night and then puts her stuff into the hamper (luckily) but leaves her shoe sin the bathroom. First, I wrote a colorful note on pink paper and stuck it into the shoe and placed it near her bed. It said, I love you so much but also love when your shoes are not in the bathroom. Worked for one day. Then, I started putting her shoes on her pillow (gasp!) where she would roll onto it in the morning. Worked for one day. Finally, I warned her in advance that if the shoes are still in the bathroom, she will not be able to wear it the next day. So I ended up punishing myself as she refused to go to school with sneakers or Shabbos shoes.

I’m at wits end. She’s a very sharp bright pre-teen, I need to handle this with love and care. Idea

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my kids have this awful habit of leaving shoes lying around the house too and it drives me nuts.

The other day I triped on my oldest kid's shoes while holding my infant and came crashing down on to my knees. You bet I blasted her for that!

Why does she get dressed in the bathroom?
What's the big deal about them being in the bathroom? At least she knows where they are.
Where should she put them?

Posted: Mon, Sep 08 2008, 9:51 pm Post subject:

do you have a special shoebag in her closet or on her door ... see if you could make it a fun thing ... and give her fake $ points to go towards an ice cream or some other treat ...
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Posted: Mon, Sep 08 2008, 9:53 pm Post subject:

Diamond Member Joined: Nov 14 2007 Posts: 2569

Move them at night to a really weird part of the house so that in the morning she'll have to look for them and realize that the bathroom is not her private spot for keeping her shoes. Tell her that it was inconvenient in the bathroom for you and you needed to move them. Keep doing that (to different parts of the house) til she gets sick and tired for hunting for her shoes every morning and gets the hint. Don't be mean, simply tell her it was more convenient for you at the moment if they were by the backdoor, corner of playroom, next to dining room table, etc. If it bothers her, she should remember to bring them to her room. Youch. I am repeating my mother. Embarassed

Posted: Mon, Sep 08 2008, 10:06 pm Post subject:

Okay so I’ll put in the snack cabinet. And it will work for one day. Sad

Posted: Mon, Sep 08 2008, 10:09 pm Post subject:

first of all we all like rewards ... and ice cream is FUN ... Cheers

second if you go into it for only a day nothing will work ... but get her a set place a makom kavuah for her shoes so that she will want to put them away ... and then remind her everyday where the shoes belong ...

Diamond Member Joined: Nov 14 2007 Posts: 2569

Is that a convenient place for you? If not, it's kind of silly. It's just saying, look, you leave your shoes in a convenient place for you, I leave them in a silly place for you. You've got to keep saying that if the place she leaves them in is unacceptable and inconvenient for everyone, you will keep moving them to a more convenient place. Different each time. If she has to keep hunting, she won't be bothered and just do it the easy way herself? Gosh, then do what my mother did. Just keep putting them in her pillowcase every night until she stops!!!

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 30 2004 Posts: 4367

why don't yuou talk to her and explain t her why you don't want the shoes there?
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Diamond Member Joined: Jun 24 2008 Posts: 3319

Remind her a few nights in a row, in a patient tone to put her shoes in her room. She'll get the hang of it. I've found that threats don't work so telling her that she won't be allowed to wear them will just frustrate her...

Posted: Mon, Sep 08 2008, 10:15 pm Post subject:

Gold Member Joined: May 26 2008 Posts: 1606 Location: NY

Teach the baby to go fishing with her shoes in the toilet. Twisted Evil

get a pair of large hooks and hang them in the bathroom. have her hang her shoes on them. no one will trip and she probably won't have a problem with this arrangement. I used to leave my shoes in the bathroom as well. it was convenient for me, but drove my family nuts. I only stopped doing it after I got married, so don't expect much of her Smile

Just hide all her shoes one day. let her search frantically for them in the morning. My mother did that to me and I was waaay more careful in the future as I was late to school, that day and had to be taken espc, and was mortified to have to hand in my excuse note of "I couldn't find my shoes."

Posted: Mon, Sep 08 2008, 11:26 pm Post subject:

Ds job is to put his clothes in the hamper and shoes near his bed neatly lined up by the wall. Ask her every night before she goes to bed it she did her night chore.
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Posted: Mon, Sep 08 2008, 11:31 pm Post subject:

let her take them off as soon as she gets home and leave them by the door ... I know someone who has all her kids shoes standing in a row this way on the way out everybody has their shoes ... no looking under the bed or tripping in the bathroom ... stop with the threats of hiding them ...

I have a standing rule for things not put away - schoolbooks, shoes, hairbrushes, etc. - I take it away and give it back after they put away 10 things from around the house.
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Remember that she is just being forgetful and not out to get you. My father took it personally that I never hung up my towel when I really, really, really tried to remember, but just rarely got in done before I left for school and always forgot when I got home. Now whenever my husband leaves his shoes in the bathroom or dining room I find myself fuming mad, because I tell him all the time how much it bothers me and how much a little effort would mean to me. He just can't do it Sad

I liked the note idea. Maybe you just need a few more notes. Maybe one saying "remember your shoes" needs to stay on the bathroom door for a while. Does your daughter regularly ask you for things? You could answer "Yes, but please put away your shoes first" or "please remember your shoes tonight" Then at least she might go get her shoes before asking for things.
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