To give or not to give...?

Posted: Tue, Mar 18 2008, 7:11 pm Post subject: To give or not to give...?

I am (good) friends with s/o in the neighborhood. Last year, when they came to give MM to my next door neighbor, they didn't give me. I still went up to them and gave them at their house, at which point they didn't return to me as well. So do I give them this year? the pt of mm is to give to friends. I consider her a friend. I guess she doesn't reciprocate those feelings? I dunno. I'm still friendly with her but not as much. I'm not interested in running after s/o to be their friend if they aren't interested. am I being petty? dh reminded me that last year I was in tears, really hurt that they didn't give me. I mean, I might not be a hotshot in the community but it doesn't take much to recycle a few pieces of junk into a basket and give it. so what would you do/what should I do?

Gold Member Joined: Nov 02 2006 Posts: 1624

Posted: Tue, Mar 18 2008, 8:34 pm Post subject: re: To give or not to give...?

I have plenty of friends who I consider to be close friends but I'm not giving them MM. Many of my friends won't be giving to me. I can't give to everyone. I don't have the time or money to do so. It's more important to give tzedaka than food on Purim.

Considering what I know of your feelings I would suggest waiting until she brings something to you. If she does than you can recycle something for her. Try not to take it personally. Sometimes I give MM to people I'm less friendly with but not my really close friends because I think that they'll understand I can't give to everyone.

Posted: Wed, Mar 19 2008, 2:04 pm Post subject: re: To give or not to give...?

hm.. I felt the same about my wedding invitations Smile

I don't pay attention to who gives me anymore. People forget (including myself) so I just give for the giving and thats it! I like to anyways.

Posted: Thu, Mar 20 2008, 9:54 am Post subject:

I have a firend (not very close but we invite each other to simchas. they moved to our neighborhood 3 years ago so we started to give them MM. Both years they weren't home, so we left it by the door & never heard anything from them. yes, someone could have taken it, but DH saw them after Purim last year & they said thanks, they got it but I said to DH that I'm not bothering this year. Or, maybe we will but I'm definitely not leaving my homemade stuff outside anyone's house.