"Mommy did you know that women have kids..."

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 09 2005 Posts: 11840

I think that yes, the unselfish thing to do would be to forgo the opportunity to bring a child into this world who will necessarily not have one parent.
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Dip the apple in the honey...

Platinum Member Joined: Jul 27 2007 Posts: 14819

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 09 2005 Posts: 11840

Baruch Hashem! Wink

Posted: Thu, Oct 18 2007, 3:00 pm Post subject:

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 09 2005 Posts: 11840

How could a child know how things would have been if there had been another parent? Or how they would have been different?

Well, if they hate their life they know it

I have relatives who have done this and they are loved.

Posted: Thu, Oct 18 2007, 3:41 pm Post subject:

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 09 2005 Posts: 11840

Platinum Member Joined: Apr 15 2007 Posts: 5828

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 30 2006 Age: 28 Posts: 8702

At least you know that when I"YH you will get married and have a baby, your kids will only have positive emotions. And that's something big!
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Diamond Member Joined: Feb 20 2007 Posts: 4464

First of all this is nothing against divorced mothers but I grew up without a father for most of my life and yes we were lacking and I would say that although I cannot judge, there's nothing like having two parents who can balance each other out. It was very difficult and stressful for everyone involved. (I'm not an orphan but my father pretty much was not there)

Although I also know a person who's the first married woman I've known who for most practical day to day purposes is a single parent. That's not so good either. [/url]

It's a fact that life in this world is never perfect - it may be a dysfunctional home, a missing parent, an illness, a ill sibling, or serious financial probelms - ch'v 100 times but that's the way it is. (The children came too fast, too slow, too many, none at all...)

We have to each of us learn to live as best as we can with whatever Hashem chose to dish out to us and try to focus on what's good.
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Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. (I haven't finished growing up yet; I'm still a work in progress - until 120!)

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 29 2006 Posts: 4461

My guess is that most women who suggest deliberate single parenting have never been the child of a single parent. Never been a boy with no one to sit with him in shul (or is your whim going to obligate the gf, a neighbor or local guy as well?) or a girl who has no mother to share her bas mitzva, only one parent to take her to the chuppa. Of course if, c"v, something happens to that parent the child would have a father somewhere but be truly alone.

My niece has no idea who her father was, she died telling noone. One day when she was 8 she said to me that if her gps (whom she lives with) didn't want them any more her brother would go to his father and "Where would I go, to the garbage can?"

That wondering who is my father is going to hit your kid even if you don't care.

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 29 2006 Posts: 4461

When my daughter was 5 she asked why everyone was having babies and we aren't. I told her that HaShem was real smart.He knows that its better to have both an Abba and an Ima so He only sends babies to houses where there are both. She totally understood.

How old is your dd? I would speak to the mother of the other girl.