Child's friend calls me by my first name

My daughter has a sweet friend who comes to our house to play. I also see her when I drop my daughter off at school. She's in second grade.

The friend has always called me by my first name, presumably because she hears her mother calling me that. Since last year I have asked her to please call me Mrs. _____. I'm not comfortable being called by my first name by young children. I'm OK with it once kids are past high school age, or with somewhat younger kids who are on a more familiar basis with me for some specific reason.

Well, despite my requests, this girl just hasn't broken the habit. Maybe two or three times she has called me Mrs. _______, and each time I gave her a BIG smile and once even hugged her and told her how much I appreciated it. But since then, we are back to my first name, and I cringe every time.

Any suggestions? I thought of talking to her mother, who I'm very friendly with. But although I'd like to put a stop to this, I don't want it to seem like a bigger deal than it is. I don't want to unintentionally cause any bad feelings over this.

Did you read the other thread about calling by a first name?

So the first question is which country do you live in?

I'm in the U.S. I read the other thread, but that was about an adult calling another adult by her first name. I'm talking about a 7-year-old. I am not her peer; I'm her friend's mother. I'm Mrs. _____ to children (but not to other adults).

Posted: Sun, Oct 14 2007, 10:26 am Post subject:

I dunno. I specifically told my friends to have their kids call me by name. Mrs. ____ is too old for me & it's my MIL's name!

Posted: Sun, Oct 14 2007, 10:30 am Post subject:

ask her to call you Mrs "firstname" ... it's a level ... that's what I say to those who insist their kids call me mrs ... works both ways ...
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Platinum Member Joined: Jul 27 2007 Posts: 14736

There's a friend of my son's who always calls me Mrs. X even though I tell her to call me by my first name. Funny thing is, I'm not even really Mrs X, as I use my own last name and didn't take my husband's name. I guess that her mother told her to call everyone by their last name, so that's what she does. I'm okay with the first name thing, personally, but I understand those who aren't.

Off-topic but I always had this uncomfortable issue with my in-laws, who didn't want me to call them by their first names, but I wasn't comfortable with Mom and Dad, and of course Mr. and Mrs. didn't work. Everyone has always called my parents by their first names, so that's how I was raised.

OP, it sounds like you're doing everything you can. Positive feedback for doing it the way you want, and gentle reminders when need be.

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 09 2005 Posts: 11840

OP, you should definitely bring it up to the mother of this girl. It's not proper for her to call you by first name.
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Platinum Member Joined: Nov 30 2006 Age: 28 Posts: 8702

Don't bring it up with her mother. It's not such a great issue that need her involvement.
Just keep on giving small reminders.
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How old are you? How many kids do you have?

Maybe it varies by community (I'm also in the US), but I feel that it's pretty acceptable for kids to call young mothers with one or two little kids by their first names-- but then, once a mother is older and has older kids, she would for sure be addressed by Mrs.

Posted: Thu, Oct 18 2007, 11:54 pm Post subject: