The "I Want" Stage Vent

Posted: Sun, Sep 16 2007, 3:32 pm Post subject: The "I Want" Stage Vent

Okay, I've taken chinuch classes, I've read that "how to talk book..." but I just cant deal with this. Conversation goes like this.

"I want more chips."
"I know you really really like chips, but you need to eat your dinner before I'll give you more."
"I want more chips!"
"You have to eat your dinner first. Do you want pasta or eggy"
'No! More chips."
(I get down so my eyes are at the same level at his eyes and I say.)
"Do you want to be healthy? If you want to be healthy, you should eat some good food and not just chips. Eat your dinner first."
"No, more chips."
"Honey, you heard me, I cannot answer you again, I"m sorry."
"More chips! More Chips! More chips!"
He eventually forgot about the chips when I got him occupied in a game and reminded him he could have more chips after his dinner. But for about 15 minutes, Internally it was TORTURE!!!
This happens at least 3 times a day...
Any suggestions?

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 20 2006 Posts: 5705

Oy mimivan... I think there were other things we compared notes on.... See my vent from just a few min earlier then this post of yours, about the "what's that?" vent that we are going through. Unfortunately I can only offer you hugs but THAT I surely will!

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 16 2007 Posts: 2952

I tell them - I am happy to give you more chips (if I am willing to do so) as soon as you finish your dinner. I will put some in a bowl and say - here they are waiting for you to finish your dinner. Then it is not up to me saying no, it is up to the child to meet the conditions I have set.

Posted: Sun, Sep 16 2007, 4:13 pm Post subject: Re: re: The "I Want" Stage Vent

Platinum Member Joined: May 16 2005 Posts: 6262

I dont know how different this is but for some reason it seems to work.

say to them "Oh you want more chips? when they say yes, say okay! right after you eat this... (or a certain amount of bites)

I think they feel understood when u say POh I hear u want more chips, now I know that and ull get them just eat this first... for some reason it works really well with my daughter....

goodluck Wink

Platinum Member Joined: Sep 11 2004 Posts: 19241

mimivan, why do you keep answering the same question again and again? I say it two or three times, and then I tell them I'm not answering anymore and I ignore them after that. they know I mean business that way and they can't manipulate me to change my mind by kvetching.

Posted: Sun, Sep 16 2007, 10:24 pm Post subject: re: The "I Want" Stage Vent

Repeating the same thing over and over is called "broken record" and it is quite effective.

I woudln't discuss the healthy part. Just "no" or "yes, after dinner".

I much prefer saying "yes" than saying "NO". so If you can say "Yes, after you eat your dinner" the argument is GONE, because you said YES.
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