Support needed emergency!!!

Posted: Sun, Sep 09 2007, 1:31 pm Post subject: support needed emergency!!!

[b]Help!!![/b]
[b]I NEED SUPPORT!!![/b]
Since my dh passed away a year ago I ate Shabbosim and Yomim Tovim at my in-laws or they came to me. (I don't have parents and I don't live in the same town as the rest of my family.)
Just recently my mil passed away, and my fil re-married, and moved away. I have to eat Shabbas home alone with my kids. This is much to hard on me. Every time I make Kiddush or sing Zmiros I just break down. Crying or Very sad

I just feel that I'm breaking apart. Sad

I just can't do this alone!
Now that Yomim Tovim are approaching, how in the world will I survive this? This is just impossible!!![size=18][/size]

Posted: Sun, Sep 09 2007, 1:34 pm Post subject: re: support needed emergency!!!

I am so sorry. Your story makes me want to cry. You are a brave and special woman, and I really hope things will get better for you now. It's really really hard.

Is there anyone you can go to? Or what about teaming up with another woman who's sort of in your situation, whether widowed or divorced and having Yom Tovim together? Would that help? Is it money? I don't even have enough to buy a sukkah, but if I can chip in and send you something to help you with plane tickets I will.
_________________
Life is not about who you can stand on top of, but who you can lift up!

Posted: Sun, Sep 09 2007, 1:41 pm Post subject: re: support needed emergency!!!

oh I am so sorry your going through that..

I agree with Tehilla..

B"H I found a place for sukkos or I would be alone also.. Just ask around to to other single mom's etc.. I am going to a single mom so we can support each other, and it helps the kids to see another mom in a similar situation.

I.e no father..

Posted: Sun, Sep 09 2007, 1:58 pm Post subject: re: support needed emergency!!!

I am sorry you are dealing with such a big nisyaon! May your tzaros end soon!

I would invite you to us, but I can't imagine you are nearby.

Posted: Sun, Sep 09 2007, 2:01 pm Post subject: re: support needed emergency!!!

I'm so sorry. I'd love to help you some way. where are you located? maybe I can arrange something?

Posted: Sun, Sep 09 2007, 4:12 pm Post subject: re: support needed emergency!!!

I would invite you over too, but I'm sure you don't live near me!

How old are your kids and how many? Do you have friends who would invite you? And is it possible to go to your parents for y't or move near them?

My grandmother was widowed when pregnat with my father and she actually moved across the world so her son could be bought up close by to his grandparents (both sets).

Posted: Sun, Sep 09 2007, 6:18 pm Post subject:

actually being divorced and chumming with other divorced or widowed families can be more depressing ... if you feel you need to go out it should be to families to help make you feel whole and for the kids to see same ... is it possible that the shul or bikur cholim or some organization in your area can help arrange some meals out ...

time will make this easier ... but sometimes you need friends and family ... yom tov is one of those times ...

Posted: Sun, Sep 09 2007, 6:28 pm Post subject: re: support needed emergency!!!

I was raised since age 13 by a single mother. We often had Shabbos and Yom Tov by ourselves, as my mother often felt worse around other people. At that point, though, my brother was over Bar Mitzva age, and he was able to make Kiddush etc for us. Once my brother was away at Yeshiva, it was just us women.
Believe me when I say I feel your pain. I never got over how that felt, and I even once travelled in a car with dh for 14 hours while in my first trimester to an aufruf, to avoid spending a Shabbos alone.
But, everything is from Hashem. You can still have a beautiful Yom Tov. You will always feel the void, but you will be able to create a new reality for you and your family. And they will grow with a special sensitivity to people whose situation is somewhat "different".