Toddler sent home from playgroup for hurting HELP

My 2 year old also bites, we were told it's because he's not speaking yet. SO we got approved for a speech therapist, and I have to say that has helped. He doesn't seem to be biting now. So maybe it's something you should try. And lots of hugs and kisses I was told. Good Luck.

Silver Member Joined: Nov 27 2005 Posts: 748

I think a lot of you are missing the boat on this one. Punishing her, focusing on the other child, etc. ar ethe OPPOSITE of what she needs. She is going through a tough time and needs a lot of ATTENTKION. This doens't mean you need to stay home with her - but the gannanet needs to acknowledge her feelings and work with you to help her, not punish her! She feels bad enough right now. She needs the gannanet to tell her, "we don't bite, we give hugs!" and then give her a big hug. (yes, and give a hig to the "victim" also.) In a short time she will stop the behavior.

momaleh: Interesting you posted this, because I've been thinking a similar thing. I'm the amother who posted that I went through the same thing with my son. I've also posted about how my 3 1/2 year old is aggressive and how I am nervous about him around my 8 month old. Well, I was going CRAZY telling him "Stop doing X! to the baby!" Stop Doing Y! to the baby!"and then I asked myself...hmm...but does he even KNOW WHAT to do?
So I tried the constructive approach. "Moshe (Moshe's not his name), touch the baby this way, kiss the baby this way, play with the baby this way...There! You're playing nicely now!"

I have a new parenting (excuse the expression) mantra: No Nos until he (or she) KNOWS!" (maybe NO nos is overdoing it). It seems so obvious, but all the NOs can be like a tape recorder. Does your daughter know how to behave with so many other kids? My guess is, at the gan, they assume she will just know. My son could behave at home and with a few other kids because it was a familiar situation, but was clueless on how to behave at gan.
But my advice is still the same, because a gan with a large number of kids and few morahs has to rely on strategies such as plain "NOs" and negative reinforcement often because there isn't time to deal with each child. Maybe form a small mishpacton of a few mothers with one babysitter? Or find a smaller gan?

Posted: Thu, Apr 26 2007, 5:14 am Post subject:

I have to agree with momaleh... ignoring your daughter when she misbehaves and paying more attention to the child she hurt is the opposite of what she needs.

Perhaps talk to one of the women who works there and see if she can't give your daughter a few minutes personal attention every couple of hours...
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Platinum Member Joined: Sep 20 2004 Posts: 17151

is he happy in the playgroup? are the teachers good and able to give all the kids the proper attention that they need?