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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Ds is home over a week!



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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 28 2015, 3:01 pm
and I am going crazy! and I find myself thinking I hate him. bec hes argumentative, and challenges my authority all the time. hes home bec of encopresis. and I was told its bec of behavioral. I did realize I had no control or somewhat. but this is driving me crazy and ontop of my head. I just needed to vent and one more thing I want to stop having these thoughts that I hate my son.. when icalm down I do say in a nice way to myself I love him. so why such hurtful thoughts? cause his behavior triggers me. I dont even understand that. I think I am also under the stressful situtation of him being home and him being unhappy with his condition and its a vicious cycle I am frustrated with it too. hopefully the doctor will hel[ us with his plan which will start next week.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Jan 28 2015, 4:39 pm
I had this issue with my son. give him things to be in control of. let him make decisions and decide things and feel like he's in control. encopresis is really tough and you may feel like your gonna break at times but it will really pass soon. hang in there!
How old is he? can u not send him to school in a pull up with an underwear on top?
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 28 2015, 5:08 pm
ds is 6 yrs old. no no no pullup is gonna make the situaion worse. he tells me at night that he doesnt need ot use the bathroom cause he has a pullup. hes manipulative. I know that I have him figured out by now. and if he soils his pullup and smel up the place like ahorses stable, who will clean him? and socially he will suffer its not a thing I can take a chance for. I wasnt asking for ideas in this tho. I was just trying to get some insight as to why would a mother who loves her child deaply come to hate him at times? I do think it can be from frustration and thinks the problem is all hers. but I hate those feelings. so what can I give him that will make him in control of something in his world? I need help figureing this out.
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TwinsMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 28 2015, 5:15 pm
my enco daughter is 8 and in public school. they are obligated to the iep and to help her clean up. she was between 10 and 17 soils a day at her worst and never initiated a bm in the toilet. it's a long process---- public school might be your best bet. have you tried Dr Daum yet?
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 28 2015, 9:09 pm
Your feelings are perfectly natural. Your ds is creating an enormous problem for you, draining your reserves of energy and patience, making a lot more work for you, creating physically unpleasant conditions in the house, occupying time you would prefer to dedicate to other things, possibly trapping you at home and surely costing you money. You are frustrated and resentful of the demands your ds condition is making on you. Of course you hate that, and as he is the cause of all this, he becomes the focal point of your negative feelings. It is your frustration speaking. You may also be just plain burned out and need a break from caring for your ds. Can you get some sort of respite care for him once n a while so that you are free to do other things?
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jan 28 2015, 10:37 pm
It's important to separate your feelings and label them. You don't hate your son, you hate the situation. You hate that his body doesn't work right, and you hate that you feel helpless. You hate his crazy behaviors, but you don't hate HIM.

Every time you start thinking "bad things", give yourself a mantra you can repeat over and over to help you get through it.

When DD had colic, and was screaming bloody murder from 7:45pm to 5:15 am, for 4 months straight, I kept saying "I love this baby, I davened for this baby, if the baby went away I would be sad." I had to constantly remind myself that if CVS something bad would happen to her I would be devastated, and I couldn't imagine life without her.

Do reach out and see if you can get some respite care, and most definitely an IEP with bathroom assistance for your son.

Hug
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