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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim
Would you put your 2yo son in a dress?
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 4:37 pm
bigsis144 wrote:
If it came from my son, I wouldn't forbid it or be weirded out/shame him for possible "gay/trans" behavior.
But I would never dress my son as a girl for my own amusement.


Yes
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 4:41 pm
Only if you hate your son.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 4:56 pm
Op, again, I posted that I did dress my sons as girls, but really it depends on your community.

I think the emphatic nos are from those who make the lgbt connection, and in more sheltered community like mine (chassidish) it is considered adorable (especially if the child has pretty hair).

You're asking a very broad spectrum of women when you really need to decide based on your community and your own comfort level.
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MamaBear




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 5:07 pm
Like a PP said, my objection is if it's for your own amusement. If he wants to dress as a girl, go ahead, let him. But so people can have a chuckle? no thanks
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 7:28 pm
amother wrote:
Op, again, I posted that I did dress my sons as girls, but really it depends on your community.

I think the emphatic nos are from those who make the lgbt connection, and in more sheltered community like mine (chassidish) it is considered adorable (especially if the child has pretty hair).

You're asking a very broad spectrum of women when you really need to decide based on your community and your own comfort level.


Nothing to do with that. My rav said a flat out no when asked. He said Purim doesn't give you permission to put clothing made specifically for a girl on a boy, especially a dress.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 7:30 pm
sky wrote:
Nothing to do with that. My rav said a flat out no when asked. He said Purim doesn't give you permission to put clothing made specifically for a girl on a boy, especially a dress.


Ok, I hear you...

I thought the rules began at age three.

But it never occured to me to ask, oy vey.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 11:07 pm
amother wrote:
Op, again, I posted that I did dress my sons as girls, but really it depends on your community.

I think the emphatic nos are from those who make the lgbt connection, and in more sheltered community like mine (chassidish) it is considered adorable (especially if the child has pretty hair).

You're asking a very broad spectrum of women when you really need to decide based on your community and your own comfort level.


I'm the poster on page 1 who said that her community holds that it is assur.

Your post is so presumptuous! Why are you assuming that I'm "less sheltered" than chassidim, or making an LGBT connection? Cross-dressing is flat out assur and we hold that there is no "heter" just because a child is under 3. If you want to debate what qualifies as "cross-dressing" (a woman in pants when her society wears pants? a man in a dress at a LGBT pride parade?) that's one thing, but honestly, accusing me of being less sheltered (and therein less frum) because I'm doing what many, many Jews hold is an aveirah? Come on.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jan 24 2015, 11:25 pm
I find it odd that this practice is so more common in communities where there are much stricter definitions of gendered clothing (no pants for girls over 3 years old, etc.) -- even when compared to other Jewish communities in which boys' hair is not cut until their upsherin.
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Learning




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 25 2015, 12:02 am
DrMom wrote:
I find it odd that this practice is so more common in communities where there are much stricter definitions of gendered clothing (no pants for girls over 3 years old, etc.) -- even when compared to other Jewish communities in which boys' hair is not cut until their upsherin.

Maybe because they are so sheltered that they don't have the bad connotation of cross dressing.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 25 2015, 12:10 am
amother wrote:
I'm the poster on page 1 who said that her community holds that it is assur.

Your post is so presumptuous! Why are you assuming that I'm "less sheltered" than chassidim, or making an LGBT connection? Cross-dressing is flat out assur and we hold that there is no "heter" just because a child is under 3. If you want to debate what qualifies as "cross-dressing" (a woman in pants when her society wears pants? a man in a dress at a LGBT pride parade?) that's one thing, but honestly, accusing me of being less sheltered (and therein less frum) because I'm doing what many, many Jews hold is an aveirah? Come on.


You are being presumptious, too...

I didn't mean to paint anyone in a negative light, I was trying to explain why it doesn't occur to many people in my community as strange (because they don't make the connection). And btw many might hold it's not assur for such a young child, so there you have it, we may be less frum than you...

Either way, I was saying to OP, why ask random strangers from farflung places when my saying "sure, of course" may be completely irrelevant to her where she is at. That's all...

I'm sorry if you were offended but that was not my intention, and you are absolutely right that there are other reasons besides lgbt association why people might not want to do this.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 25 2015, 2:20 am
sky wrote:
Nothing to do with that. My rav said a flat out no when asked. He said Purim doesn't give you permission to put clothing made specifically for a girl on a boy, especially a dress.


THIS. It has nothing to do with being gay or whatever, it has everything to do with the halacha about men's and women's dress. (Although the two are mentioned in the same parsha, most likely for a very good reason.)
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MrsMarmite




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 25 2015, 4:34 am
I saw it all the time growing up and thought it was cute. When my first boy was 2, I dressed him as a girl on purim (we went to a communal seudah and his cousins were introducing him to everyone as 'Avigail'!!!) - my inlaws were horrified though. I was surprised at their reaction. one inlaw went a bit too far, roaring 'THATS DISGUSTING!' at my son who was like I said, 2!
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 25 2015, 9:59 am
I "compromised" with one of my boys dressing him in a gender neutral costume (think farmer etc.) and braiding his hair into 2 braids. I got my thrill of "playing dressup". Cool
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 25 2015, 10:02 am
No I wouldn't.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jan 25 2015, 10:07 am
amother wrote:
I'm the poster on page 1 who said that her community holds that it is assur.

Your post is so presumptuous! Why are you assuming that I'm "less sheltered" than chassidim, or making an LGBT connection? Cross-dressing is flat out assur and we hold that there is no "heter" just because a child is under 3. If you want to debate what qualifies as "cross-dressing" (a woman in pants when her society wears pants? a man in a dress at a LGBT pride parade?) that's one thing, but honestly, accusing me of being less sheltered (and therein less frum) because I'm doing what many, many Jews hold is an aveirah? Come on.



I agree!
I 'm surprised that Chassidim who are supposedly so careful about tznius and halacha and lo silbash have never heard this halacha. Whoever we asked also told us that this is not a halacha that begins at age 3. The issur is on the parents to not dress their children of any age in clothing meant for the opposite gender.

That is the only reason why I don't do it. I couldn't care less what people think of me and if I have lgbt leanings.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 25 2015, 11:04 am
Under 3... bearing in mind this... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/B.....ys%29
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