She has black circles around her eyes!

amother

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 2:26 am

I've read so many books, heard so much advice from so many people. But nothing seems to work.
My 8 MO doesn't sleep enough. She sometimes naps well ( a couple of hours straight), sometimes doesn't nap at all (!). Sometimes goes to sleep nicely, somestimes doesn't and takes hours of screaming and kicking.
She's very very active and curious and sometimes it seems like she doesn't allow herself to sleep becuase she will miss out on something. She falls asleep in my arms, lying down, with a paci. Many times she lies down, closes her eyes as if she's asleep then 10 seconds later she would start kicking her legs and trying to get up and play.

The worst though is at night.
Lets say she goes to sleep at 7 (she sometimes goes to sleep at 5:30 for the night, other times will wake up at 6:30 and refuse to go back to sleep, other times will only fall asleep at 8...it varies). Lets say she sleeps for an hour. Then she starts waking up. Every 10 min, every 20 min, then 15 min...she doesn't need anythng- I give her the pacifier or a sip of formula and she's usually back to sleep but this happnes so often that I don't manage to sleep. Lately she has been doing this until 12-1-2 am, then she sleeps (hopefully) for 3-4 hours straight or only wants a bottle (which is fine- if she needs food I dont mind waking up for that). I'm miserable. I try to have a routine. To have specific hours for naps and sleep . BUT it never works with her. Because some mornings she manages to nap and others not and then she's tired earlier and the whole routine gets messed up. Some afternoons she doesn't fall asleep at all.
She wakes up at around 6 am these days. She always looks tired. And I am def very tired.

Notes:
-she is not breastfed
-She knows how to put the pacifier in her mouth by herself. She has a few near her in bed.
- DH wakes up for her too very often.

She ends up waking up around 6-10 times a night. Its insane.

Please help me! How do I establish a routine when the baby refuses to do the same thing every day? How do I get her to sleep???
This morning- for the first time ever- I heard her crying and I DIDNT GET UP for her. I was too tired DH was too tired. We each woke up for her a million times. I don't even get to fall asleep before around 1 am these days because every time I put my head on the pillow she screams again. So she fell back asleep at some point, fr a few minutes. Then was screaming again so DH went to her.
- When I don't go to her when she screams at night, she simply gets up, stands up in bed and SCREAMS- waking up my other kids. Then its much harder to put her to sleep because she's already all hyper again.
-I am very much not into CIO. She's tiny and I hate seeing her cry. I mean - Im so tired that at this point maybe emotionally I wouldnt mind hearing her cry but I am having a hard time hearing her cry and not giving her what she needs. In other words I would only do CIO IF IF IF I would lose my mind and nothing else in the world would help. Which I think we are coming to.
HELP PLEASE!!!

5*Mom

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 4:05 am

The very first thing that struck me was in your subject line: black circles. If she really has dark circles and that's not just an exaggeration, it may be what's known as allergic shiners. She may have an allergy. I'd take her to the pediatrician and see if he can recommend a good pediatric allergist.

chani8

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 6:17 am

When people are against CIO, it's because they've never read a book about it. Nobody is advocating letting a child 'not get their needs met'. Ask the imamothers which sleep book is most suitable for your parenting style.

Esther23

Thu, Nov 27 2014, 9:49 am

What 5 star said. I also have heard that black arond the eyes can very much be allergy related. It's possible there's something irritating her which is keeping her from relaxing and falling asleep.

amother

Fri, Nov 28 2014, 3:48 am

Thanks.
No. its not allergies, its just black from tiredness. What do I do?

5*Mom

Fri, Nov 28 2014, 6:37 am

amother wrote:

Thanks.
No. its not allergies, its just black from tiredness. What do I do?

How can you be sure? Dark circles and disrupted sleep can both be symptoms of allergies. Have you had this checked out?

chani8

Fri, Nov 28 2014, 7:24 am

I did a google on this and allergies, rather than poor sleep, are often the cause of dark circles around eyes.

Allergies can also cause hyper behavior. A stuffy or runny nose can definitely affect sleep.

Any signs at all of allergies, like a runny nose or watery eyes?

amother

Fri, Nov 28 2014, 7:29 am

ok wow now im getting worried
wethought of allergies when she was younger but dr didnt want to check further.
what do I tell him? how do I get him to take me seriously? what allergies can these be?

5*Mom

Fri, Nov 28 2014, 7:46 am

amother wrote:

ok wow now im getting worried
wethought of allergies when she was younger but dr didnt want to check further.
what do I tell him? how do I get him to take me seriously? what allergies can these be?

Can be food or environmental allergens such as mold or dust mites. Pretty much anything. I'd get a referral for a ped allergist.

ElTam

Fri, Nov 28 2014, 3:44 pm

If the doctor won't listen to you, go to a different doctor. My allergic kid was a terrible sleeper until we figured out what he was allergic to and eliminated it from his diet.

Last edited by ElTam on Mon, Dec 01 2014, 2:36 pm; edited 1 time in total

cbsmommy

Sat, Nov 29 2014, 8:34 pm

I concur with the above. My kid did. not. sleep. until we discovered her allergies.

And don't rule out environmental ones!

DD apparently had an allergy to roaches. She had horrible asthma episodes and trouble sleeping at night. We fixed the roach problem and her symptoms improved.

And when we slept in a hotel that either used detergent that DD was allergic too, had too many dust mites, or had feather pillows/comforters (we never could figure out the exact culprit) she had bags under her eyes and she woke multiple times a night.

cbsp

Sat, Nov 29 2014, 10:33 pm

For those that said it's a sign of allergies:

Is it a primary reaction (like hives) or is it secondary (not breathing/sleeping right due to the allergies so it's causing the black circles)

Dolly Welsh

Sat, Nov 29 2014, 10:38 pm

Yes to all the above.

You might put her bed right next to yours so you can stick your arm out while in your own bed and have her feel your hand. That might soothe her.

I wondered about nutrition with the dark circles - vitamin deficiency or something. Maybe give her some direct sunlight with no hat and no sleeves or leggings. Vitamin drops, I would say. Could she be teething?

amother

Sat, Nov 29 2014, 11:27 pm

cbsp wrote:

For those that said it's a sign of allergies:

Is it a primary reaction (like hives) or is it secondary (not breathing/sleeping right due to the allergies so it's causing the black circles)

It's a primary reaction.

My oldest is celiac. He never slept and had big black circles. Dr took one look and sent us for testing. 6 years later my 3rd had the same black circles. She's allergic to dairy and soy, plus a host of environmental things.

It's definitely worth doing the testing.

cbsp

Sat, Nov 29 2014, 11:33 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks for answering. So a kid who wasn't sleeping but didn't have allergies wouldn't have the black circles? IOW, would the dr have sent you for testing if your kid wouldn't have had the black circles?
I'm asking cuz my kid also has black circles (and Dennie's lines) but no allergies that we know of.

bnm

Sat, Nov 29 2014, 11:47 pm

my son was tested for allergies and sleep apnea. no black circles, family history of allergies and he dosn't sleep. sleep study showed apnea...... black circles is usually allergies.

chani8

Sun, Nov 30 2014, 2:03 am

"Black eyes are a symptom of a dairy allergy."

"Phenols. Phenol overload looks like dark circles under the eye."

Scrabble123

Sun, Nov 30 2014, 3:09 am

My adult brother has had black circles near his eyes since he was a toddler, and they are caused by allergies (he is not allergic to dairy). It's a secondary reaction. It's from the popped blood vessels in his sinuses that become constantly inflamed from his allergies. When he avoids his triggers the spots disappear within a few weeks.

myself

Sun, Nov 30 2014, 5:31 am

Dark circles is also a sign of nasal congestion.