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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
"Flylady" or something similar... for kids?



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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 12:22 am
My daughter is almost 12, smart, a tad immature... and I would say "artistically challenged". I'm not sure if that's the right term to use here. She has absolutely no concept of what looks visually appealing, whether it's clothing, drawings, home decor, etc.
She decorated her looseleaf by drawing a picture on it that looked like something my kindergarten son would make. And she was truly proud of it. She has zero concept of how to put together clothing that somewhat matches (plaid flannel shirt with elegant chiffon-type skirt - what's the problem? Rolling Eyes )
In general I have to oversee her and can't allow her as much independence as I would like in terms of artistic/individual expression, lest she embarrass herself.
Okay so here's the issue todayShe.doesn't know how to clean or organize. She gathers items into a pile and is truly bewildered when I tell her it's not adequate. Is there any program that cam teach her a system?
I am not the best teacher as I have mild ADD and I don't set a great example. Though when I am motivated nd uninterrupted I can cleaan and organize very well. My daughter seems so clueless, like age does a lousy job and truly doesn't understand what she did wrong.
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Kugglegirl




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 12:46 am
Fly lady talks about using her system for kids. The kids modify the weekly focus to different areas of their bedrooms. Like desk, closet, bed, bookshelf, floor. Also she emphasiszes starting the system by just having a night time routine that includes picking your clothes for the next day.

When I was very on task w. fly lady, I would pick out my 5 outfits for the week days & hang them together. It might help your daughter & you can review the outfits together & discuss why it is a good outfit or not.

As far as organization, I have the same kind of problems with my 14 yo DD w. ADHD-- her 12 yo sister can put her room together & make it look organized. But the older one seems clueless & lost. Occasionally I get so frustrated I just clear the surfaces & make her ask for what she needs back. I'm so lost in trying to get a handle on the rest of the house, I just don't have time to clean her area for her.

Standing over her & telling her one item at a time what to do just makes her angry, so that doesn't work & I don't have time for it any way.

Giving her a basket to put the dirty clothes in & telling her to put away the clean ones-- works a little. I have just gotten very clear w. her that things can not be in piles on the floor. Every surface is a jumble in her area, but she manages to get herself together in the morning.

It is getting some what better as she gets older.

Teaching a kid the fly lady system will work better if you are doing it yourself, & she can see the process.

regarding the drawing- do you think she would benefit from an OT evaluation? Maybe someone who will also assess her visual processing?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 9:53 am
She was getting OT for years but we recently moved to a new community and she begged me to stop the therapy. She doesn't want to appear different. I have tried gently explaining that her difficulties will have a bigger effect on her socially than the fact that she goes for OT, but so far, no go.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 30 2014, 10:13 am
My dd14 sounds very similar. For years we fought but more recently I have found a few things that I can do to help her that don't make her feel bad:
1. I sometimes clean her room for her, also organize (not throwing away anything except real garbage). I present it as a special treat for her rather than any criticism.
2. I allow her to earn something such as computer time for doing a few tasks
3. I make the tasks really specific, like pick up 15 things from your floor, one at a time and put them in the right place. Or please put all of your dirty clothes in the hamper. Please take your clean clothes one at a time and put them away in the right place (after I've organized so that everything has a place)
4. I ask her if she'd like me to stay and help her with a task. For instance, I'll pick up 10 things and you pick up 10 things, so together we've done a 20 things pickup. I often find that my DD would prefer help, but not always.
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