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Do you think I can ever do this?
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 8:52 am
Is love to do that but whatever I tried, I hit a brick wall.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 9:22 am
I was also thinking along those lines:

- Life Coach

- Big Sister to a teen (Aren't there organizations that match those up?). Or do you know someone who is frustrated with their teenager or girls at risk. You can invite them over after Friday night meal for a girl night/game night. sometimes kids need a listening ear or just a safe environment to vent.
I know people who do this around here for boys and they come and enjoy it and get a lot out of it.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 9:43 am
I highly recommend not doing this if there is any chance you could hurt the people involved. Sit down with a therapist and have a few sessions and ask for tips on how to keep boundaries and to help yourself not get too involved. You sound very kind from your posts.
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 11:31 am
If you recognize that there could be issues doing counseling without any training why not get started on taking some courses in that field?
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 11:48 am
dancingqueen wrote:
If you recognize that there could be issues doing counseling without any training why not get started on taking some courses in that field?

Some courses would be life coaching. Training to become a therapist would mean years in college, which I can't see myself doing at the moment.
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rosenbal




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 11:55 am
There are online training programs for life coaches. It is NOT the same thing as an unlisenced therapist.

Coaches don't deal with emotional issues; they would refer those to a therapist. Life Coaching helps people clarify and achieve their goals. I'm sure there is more to it, but that's it in a nutshell.
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OutATowner




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 4:58 pm
Zehava, I haven't read all the replies but here is my two cents.
From your posts you seem like a wonderful person and you have a lot to offer. But sometimes you project your own experiences on other people. In your sincere desire to help others you sometimes blur the lines between your emotions and theirs.
I could be wrong, but that is just something that I think is important to learn- how to be objective and empathetic at the same time.
Good shabbos.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 5:35 pm
Three likes? 😢😢 I feel judged
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amother


 

Post Sat, Oct 25 2014, 1:10 pm
What about life coaching? You can get certified in a short-term program, from what I've seen.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 26 2014, 3:01 am
Zehava wrote:
Three likes? 😢😢 I feel judged


Interesting this should come up. I was just reading one of the last chapters in the Feeling Good Handbook, about 'difficult clients' and Dr Burns is adamant that a person know how to handle criticism. He said that he was speaking with top expert therapists in a seminar, and when he quizzed them on how they deal with criticism, they almost unanimously failed to respond appropriately. I still haven't absorbed what he said is the correct way to handle it, but I can tell that I would not do well with it, without lots of working on myself ahead of time. Your response to go to an 'I feel' statement is good, except using the term 'judged' is not a feeling, and instead can be interpreted as an insult back at the speaker. You're implying they judged you, or they are judgemental. Which doesn't address their criticisms.

How to deal with conflict effectively is an important skill. Don't you think?

ETA - I hope you take this like I meant it, in that I was truly just going for 'discussion'. Don't let her criticisms get you down. Take what fits and dump what doesn't, and keep on moving forward.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 26 2014, 3:24 am
Are you the sort of person to whom people gravitate for chizuk or advice? Do your friends confide in you, do people ask you for your opinions, do you have a reputation as being level-headed, sensible and a good listener? If yes, then something like life coaching or mentoring or whatever you have in mind might be a good fit. If the answer is no, you may be fantasizing about something for which you are not suited temperamentally. This does not mean that it's impossible to learn techniques, but if you are not naturally suited to this kind of work, you will probably neither enjoy nor be particularly good at it. The fact that you say you have very few friends, coupled with your defensive reaction to the people who made cautionary comments, bodes poorly for your success in this field.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Oct 26 2014, 3:38 am
Zehava wrote:
I'm not really thinking of payment. I don't like the idea of being paid to listen to someone unless I'm helping them in some concrete way, like phsycologists do. If I do take a life coach course then yes payment will make more sense. I will definitely look into it, maybe wait a few months Til I can get my baby into playgroup, then see if I can make it happen. Keep the thoughts comin!! If anyone knows of a specific organization that does this either for women or teens let me know.


I think maybe you'd enjoy working for a hot line organization. The one I used offered me a volunteer for more long term help, and she was just a nice woman who'd BTDT. It was perfect for me.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 26 2014, 9:44 am
So the consensus is I can't do this. Well I guess I got my answer
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busymom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 26 2014, 10:59 am
If this is something you are truly passionate about, why give up so quickly? Reflect on whatever feedback you received and figure out if any is relevant and how you might become a better listener. Several people suggested volunteering for a helpline. From what I've read, I know that some of them train volunteers and do not staff only professionals. Idk where you are, but there are other organizations like that (Chai Lifeline?) who train people interested in helping them with their work.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Oct 26 2014, 11:20 am
Just picked up another point from your msgs.
Start with your friends. If they find you someone who they can talk to easily, share things that bother them etc... then go forward. If not work on that first.
If thats not working then maybe find out why...
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OMG!




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 26 2014, 11:31 am
If you ever heard of bikur Choilim they can definitely benefit. They have many people lonely or friendless who need a listening ear
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 26 2014, 11:33 am
Zehava wrote:
Some courses would be life coaching. Training to become a therapist would mean years in college, which I can't see myself doing at the moment.


The longest journeys start with one tiny step. But it's up to you.
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 26 2014, 2:48 pm
OMG! wrote:
If you ever heard of bikur Choilim they can definitely benefit. They have many people lonely or friendless who need a listening ear


this is a great idea. Or visiting someone who lives alone on shabbos who is lonely and would love to have someone visit.
We started doing this and everyone in my family has gotten a lot out of it.
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