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Do you think I can ever do this?
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 10:57 pm
I have a dream. I want to be a person that listens, someone other people can talk to. I want to give empathy, support, and encouragement.
I don't know if college will ever happen, not ruling it out, but it's so so complicated for so many reasons that I don't see it in my immediate future.
Is there any way this dream can happen without college? Or would it be a recipe for disaster? Yknow the whole informal thing would I be setting myself up for boundary crossing, transference, and mishandling things?
On the other hand sometimes some people can really use that informal listening ear, without sitting on a couch by a desk with someone taking notes and looking at the clock.
Say it is a good idea, how on earth do I make it happen? Or do I just wait and if it's meant to be it'll just creep up on me? Any thoughts?
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 10:59 pm
Are there Nightline training courses in your area?

You could also just read on your own about Active Listening and apply those principles when you talk to your friends.
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Scrabble123




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:00 pm
Do you mean as a profession? You can offer all of that to friends and those you come into your life.
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yogabird




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:02 pm
You can volunteer to do a shift on a helpline.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:05 pm
I honestly don't have that many friends at the moment. The kind that would talk to me when they're feeling down anyway. I like the helpline idea though!! Will definitely look into it and see if there's any way they'd let me do a shift.
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Scrabble123




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:06 pm
Great! Hope it works out. Let us know how it goes.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:09 pm
Zehava wrote:
I honestly don't have that many friends at the moment. The kind that would talk to me when they're feeling down anyway. I like the helpline idea though!! Will definitely look into it and see if there's any way they'd let me do a shift.

A helpline is a great idea. But please do some training before.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:13 pm
Google tells me that only therapists do shifts on it.... Bummer
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Leahh




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:17 pm
There is one title in that area that you can use to make yourself 'professional' but does not legally require a degree. I believe it is psychotherapist. Your allowed to call yourself that (if I got the right term) without any degree or training. So you can try advertising and see if anyone bites.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:20 pm
Leahh wrote:
There is one title in that area that you can use to make yourself 'professional' but does not legally require a degree. I believe it is psychotherapist. Your allowed to call yourself that (if I got the right term) without any degree or training. So you can try advertising and see if anyone bites.


I hope you're joking. You're advising someone with no training to pass herself off as a therapist since it isn't a regulated term?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:29 pm
Zehava wrote:
Google tells me that only therapists do shifts on it.... Bummer
Not all helplines are run by therapists. I remember reading in an article (I think in mishpacha) that some helplines are regular people who refer people to therapy when needed. Sorry but I dont remember the name of the helpline that I am talking about.
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Leahh




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:31 pm
MaBelleVie wrote:
I hope you're joking. You're advising someone with no training to pass herself off as a therapist since it isn't a regulated term?

I am not advising her to pass herself off as a therapist at all. I am giving her facts. It is not a regulated term and she can therefore use it to make herself sound more professional. It is not trying to be psychologist or social worker. The person choosing to use her should do research into the different terms and know which one is for what purpose.
The same is with a coach. There are many people that claim to be a life coach or such. They don't have any professional training. If someone wants to use them that person shouldve done research and be aware that said coach does not have any formal training.
every profession has this. Do you know how many accountants are out there that don't have a CPA? In NY the law is you can call yourself an accountant but can only call yourself a certified public accountant with the proper licensing. It's the client's responsibility to check if the accountant is certified. The accountant is not obligated to say s/he is not certified. They just can't falsely advertise that they are.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:34 pm
In Universities Nightline is peer counseling, not professional therapists.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:34 pm
Why not train as a doula? No college required, you get to provide support at a crucial vulnerable moment, and you're not passing yourself off as a therapist with no college degree.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:37 pm
Just because it's not a regulated term doesn't make it OK to advertise your services when you don't have the training. It's just really unethical.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 23 2014, 11:46 pm
There are "life coach" training courses that are a lot shorter/lighter than college, sounds like exactly what you're looking for. I personally have benefited greatly from a relationship with a life coach certified by one of those things, I can ask her which course she took. I used to think it was a flaky idea but now I see it is not the same as a wannabe therapist, it's really a different role. The life coach does more of the "empathy, support, and encouragement" part.
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chani8




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 2:07 am
Zehava wrote:
I have a dream. I want to be a person that listens, someone other people can talk to. I want to give empathy, support, and encouragement.
I don't know if college will ever happen, not ruling it out, but it's so so complicated for so many reasons that I don't see it in my immediate future.
Is there any way this dream can happen without college? Or would it be a recipe for disaster? Yknow the whole informal thing would I be setting myself up for boundary crossing, transference, and mishandling things?
On the other ha
nd sometimes some people can really use that informal listening ear, without sitting on a couch by a desk with someone taking notes and looking at the clock.
Say it is a good idea, how on earth do I make it happen? Or do I just wait and if it's meant to be it'll just creep up on me? Any thoughts?


The bolded is a biggie. My concerns (I've asked myself, since I've contemplated this as well):

You wont be supervised so who will help you with the difficult clients?

Are you sure you know how to put boundaries in place? I've peer counselled people who have no boundaries, and they drain you.

Be sure you are not a 'drama junkie' who is going to be co-dependent and drop everything in your own life every time a client has a 'crisis'. Some have crisis every week.

Do you plan to get paid for this? If so, that makes it complicated, because how much do you charge for 'a listening ear'?
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 3:24 am
I think it could be dangerous to try to do something therapy-like. Listening to friends is great! But having therapy-session-like listening appointments could lead to trouble.

There was a recent thread here from someone who was/is depressed to the point of suicidal because an imamother member offered to listen to and support her, encouraged her to share her problems, and then cut ties.

I'm sure you'd never hurt someone on purpose, but it goes to show how good intentions (assuming there were good intentions involved in that story) can go very wrong.

Even if nothing went very wrong, there's the risk that "just listening" could turn into "therapy where no issues are truly addressed." It takes a lot of skill to turn talking-and-listening into a process where people deal with their problems and move beyond them, instead of just dwelling on them. (Not all professional therapists have that skill, even... )

But again, listening in a this-is-obviously-not-therapy way is great!

Are you looking for a place where you could make listening a paid job? Or just looking for people who need friends?

If it's the former, maybe look into being a companion to an elderly person, tutoring/babysitting a special needs child or teen (or any child, for that matter. kids in general love to be listened to), working in a group home, or doing part-time foster care (in Israel you can be an afternoon-only or every-other-weekend-only foster family. AFAIK the second thing is a thing in America too - basically being a backup foster home to give another foster family a break)(just FTR, though, foster parenting is generally terribly paid).

If you want to volunteer, I'd try the local nursing home, or asking a local social worker. (Here in Israel) neighborhood social workers have lists of people who could use help from a volunteer, and the help is mostly just being a friend and giving encouragement.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 8:12 am
I'm not really thinking of payment. I don't like the idea of being paid to listen to someone unless I'm helping them in some concrete way, like phsycologists do. If I do take a life coach course then yes payment will make more sense. I will definitely look into it, maybe wait a few months Til I can get my baby into playgroup, then see if I can make it happen. Keep the thoughts comin!! If anyone knows of a specific organization that does this either for women or teens let me know.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Oct 24 2014, 8:23 am
maybe a mentor for troubled teens?
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