Is it really unheard of for a female adult not to shave?

amother

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 1:07 am

Look how all of us that keep some of our hair have to post as amother.
I never shave my underarm hair I see no need and it's so light and thin, I feel fine with leaving it alone. I used to shave my lower legs but it hardly grows anymore so I shave once in a while. I tweeze my chin hairs and wax my mustache. My eyebrows were so heavily plucked as a teen that they hardly grew back and I tweeze occasionally. I have manicures and pedicures regularly just to be neat. No nail polish. And I think I'm beautiful just the way I am.

amother

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 3:46 am

If I am nidda and wearing thick socks or tights, I don't always bother to shave. ie I will do it once or twice a week. I also feel cleaner and less sweaty with no underarm hair. Otherwise I shave daily.

But my hair on my bikini line and under my armpits is so thick and coarse that it never gets totally smooth. So I'm more comfortable swimming in a swim shirt and shorts. So glad I don't need to wear sleeveless dresses!

amother

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 4:29 am

I struggle with facial hair so I do laser for that.

I also did underarm laser because they gave me a good deal Smile

I shave my legs when it grows long enough to see through stockings- this depends on my hormones pregnant- about 1-2 times a month until I can't reach.
nursing- doesn't grow at all.
otherwise- grows really fast

amother

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 6:24 am

Personally I think it's gross when I see people with hairy legs/mustache/chin etc. but if ur legs are always covered and no one can see and it doesn't bother u then fine but people who expose their legs should shave. I shave my armpits because I don't like to be hairy and because I. Get sweaty otherwise

finallyamommy

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 7:05 am

Okay, I'll post not as amother. I get really, really annoyed by this "all hair must go!" culture.

I do shave my armpits occasionally - like a couple times a year - when the hair gets long enough to bother me. But that is a personal decision.

I don't shave my legs. Why should I? I wear thick (80-100 denier) tights, so nobody sees my legs except DH and he prefers that I don't shave at all.

I don't pluck my eyebrows. Although my little sister likes to tease me that they look like caterpillars Rolling Eyes

I have also had actual beauticians tell me that aesthetically speaking I don't NEED to except for maybe a couple tiny hairs, and they look fine (now if I had a unibrow I probably would be self-conscious enough to pluck).

I don't shave my head either. My hair is shoulder-length, light brown with natural highlights, and looks the same as it did the day I got married, and I have always thought it was one of the only beautiful things about me. Ah, but if shaving hair is a matter of hygiene, then perhaps we should all start shaving our heads, if hair is really so gross.

Oh, and I don't wear makeup much. I haven't yet been fussed at for my lack of shaving, but I HAVE been told that I won't make friends if I don't wear makeup, and one of my best friends' mother refused to be seen with her in public if she didn't either shave her legs or wear long pants (and this friend was starting to take on wearing skirts).

So basically I am really, really sick of all of us being told how to treat our bodies. And on a frum board no less! Aren't we supposed to be avdei Hashem? I'm sure Hashem would prefer that I spend that extra half hour saying Tehillim or doing chessed than shaving my body and putting on makeup.

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 7:30 am

You can just look around you in summer, among non Jews, non frum and non tznius keeping (armpits) and you will know. Cultural, generational...

Even if you're the minority, who cares. It's random. Do what you want. I don't relate well to this whole brazilian, size 0, "full face of make up", "help I can't deal without make up on yt", "all men need lingerie" culture that I still haven't really pinpointed but see among "frum trendy" and American circles. Even my friends who grew up on Hollywood movies and without religion in their life aren't that way. Sad

amother

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 9:34 am

I think it's awful that young girls today are pressured into laser for their hairline when they get engaged and then encouraged to do full body laser as kallas. Their faces look like whales. Shiny in the lasered spots. It's awful that they are brainwashed to remove hair everywhere. Hashem created us with hair on our bodies for a reason. If we are so unhappy then we can choose to remove it but laser is permanent and unfairly imposed as the only way to go...JMHO

amother

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 9:47 am

amother wrote:

I do think it's age and generationally related.

I am grateful I am not a hairy person, and except for underarms my body hair is blondish. I tweeze eyebrows just to create a shape, but prefer having them threaded. I do this maybe five times a year. Maybe. I shave my legs twice a week in summer, maybe once in winter. armpits most days. I trim my hair down there, and wax my bikini line if anyone is going to see it.

If I had to put that much work into my appearance--the perfectly coiffed sheitel, the manicures, more than three minutes with one shade of eyeshadow/brown mascara, Burts Bees chapstick--I think I'd go crazy. I know many women feel hideous unless they're primped and plucked. Perhaps they think I'm hideous, I don't much care.

finallyamommy

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 10:32 am

By the way, Mama Bear, my mention of shaving head was meant firmly tongue-in-cheek, a response to the inconsistency that I'm always seeing about how all hair is gross except what is on the head. I don't see anything wrong with shaving if that's your minhag and I wasn't trying to make fun of it.

amother

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 10:46 am

Dh and I were in another country recently and a woman in a tank top gave us directions. We couldn't focus because she had clearly never shaved her underarms. I thought that ended with Woodstock! Of course if you like body hair, zei gezunt, but expect people to be taken aback if it's visible.

Anon bec I've told this story.

amother

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 11:21 am

If I don't shave my arm pits they smell. I wear deodorant and I'm not an overly sweaty person but if I don't shave there's a smell. It may be that I'm the only one who can smell it when I take off my shirt, it has a perspiration smell. It can be that everyone but you can smell you. Or maybe you think your BO is a normal nice smell but it's probably offensive to other people. Do what you want with your legs but PLEASE shave under your arms in case I'm sitting next to you on the bus. I don't want to smell your natural sweat! (and I've never gone for a manicure in my life)

Scrabble123

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 11:26 am

While I find body hair entirely repulsive, and I do shave my legs, arms, etc. and have been doing so for a long time, I also found the recent pictures of female models with armpit hair to be beautiful. I loved it as an art piece, but not so much for reality! I actually happened to think that the darker, thicker armpits were prettier aesthetically. Still, if I saw a person like that IRL I would be thrown back. I know people who do not shave, and why it is ultimately their decision, I do not understand the mentality.

OOTforlife

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 11:28 am

amother wrote:

So I guess you find 99% of men smelly?

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 11:29 am

Not all people who visibly don't shave smell, from my bus experiences. But again, maybe in the same circles, anyone who "doesn't smell of soap" smells. Sigh.

Quote:

We couldn't focus because she had clearly never shaved her underarms.

Okay... I must say I don't watch, but just don't look? being unable to concentrate sounds unhealthy.

As for lasering frontline (woa) or torturing the kallos with mandatory laser... we women are our own worst enemy, just saying. Wish it was on shiduch resume, finicky obsessive Hollywoody values required/unwanted! I just can't believe how most of my trendy friends would be slobs in other (wherever it is, unidentified galaxy).

It's not a "liking of body hair" or a mentality, it's simply not seeing why per se armpit hair goes but eyebrows stay, or whatever. Most people don't do it as a statement.