Do you bring along your own seat?

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 8:05 pm

What right do you have to take up space, oxygen etc without permission?

I am the Rebbetzin at my shul, and I am always shocked that people see there's a seating chart, people reserved - (we don't charge, there are voluntary donations) but why do you think you have a right to just show up, with your own chair or not?

I am trying hard to get over my attitude, though, due to the fact that I hope Hashem will judge me with mercy.

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 8:08 pm

amother wrote:

Do you allow people to stand without a seat?

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 8:18 pm

Our shul is crowded. If you bring a chair from home the only place for you to put it is in the aisle. Is it fair that no one should be able to walk down the aisle just because you couldn't be bothered to arrange a seat?

Some people pay $150 and others pay $0. Only the treasurer knows how much you paid. But if your name is not on the seating chart then it is wrong to come.

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 8:22 pm

amother wrote:

I cannot afford to pay for a seat, but I wouldn't bring my own.I would sit in the back or stand if necessary.I would never block the aisles.how can I arrange a seat in a shul I never attended before?I wouldn't even know who to call?is that a problem iypov?

mummiedearest

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 8:28 pm

growing up, I had a friend whose parents were divorced. her mother made very little money, they certainly couldn't afford a seat in shul for rosh hashana/yom kippur. she used to stand in the back with her mother every year.

I only come for shofar blowing. I pay for a seat every year. after shofar, I give my seat to someone who doesn't have one. I assume someone will make use of it before shofar as well.

if your shul really can't accommodate people who don't reserve seats, warn people beforehand. put up signs. if it's a safety hazard, you have a legitimate point. but if that's the case, consider renting out a larger space for yamim tovim. yours wouldn't be the first shul to do this. if people in the aisle/standing in the back are just an annoyance, I think you need to chill.

imasinger

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 8:33 pm

The proper way to do it is to call the shul office. If there isn't one, call the rav.

I can pretty much guarantee that you will be welcomed warmly, and directed to a place where you can know you are doing the right thing.

We pay for 5 seats on RH and YK, but my DSD with health issues will only be there for kol nidrei and neilah, and the rest of us are only there some of the time, too. People like me are happy to share.

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 8:43 pm

amother wrote:

At least in your shul it is only ppl who didn't pay and reserve a seat who place chairs in the aisle. In the Shul my dh davens they actually place chairs in the aisle by the women for ppl who paid and reserved seats in advance. Yes- it clearly violates fire code but the shul doesn't care bc they have done it in years where the men's section was empty and the mechitza could have been moved in to accommodate women safely and comfortably. One year one area by the women had NO aisle - just three or four rows of wall to wall seats. And yes, that year the men's section had plenty of empty seats but somehow it would have been wrong to move in the mechitza a few inches and narrow one of the four wide aisles in the men's section to make a small aisle by the women. And my dh wonders why I find this shul lacking and cold with warped values.

I live in Passaic.

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 9:06 pm

mummiedearest wrote:

if your shul really can't accommodate people who don't reserve seats, warn people beforehand. put up signs. if it's a safety hazard, you have a legitimate point. but if that's the case, consider renting out a larger space for yamim tovim. yours wouldn't be the first shul to do this. if people in the aisle/standing in the back are just an annoyance, I think you need to chill.

I assume you were responding to me, the 8:18 amother. Why should my shul rent out a bigger place and where would we even find a bigger place? We already have over 600 seats. There is a sign in shul plus its posted in the shul announcements for weeks before the holidays that people must arrange seats. I said people need to arrange seats but I never said they need to pay. Some people pay $0.

amother

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 9:16 pm

amother wrote:

I certainly hope you are joking. I too am a rebbetzin in a shul. And people come all the time without reserving (think meals where you need to cook as well),
While some times it does annoy me (especially when it's the same people every time), coming to shul to daven on rh and yk is something that should be every persons right, whether they remembered to reserve or not!
When they see they can't sit anywhere hopefully next time they'll remember, but to be upset that they're coming to daven and hear shofar???

mummiedearest

Mon, Sep 29 2014, 9:29 pm

amother wrote:

look, I don't know where you are. I can't suggest a place to rent. my dad grew up going to a shul that was so packed on the high holidays that they had a separate minyan in the shul's garage. it wasn't a small shul to begin with, and apparently the garage was big enough to hold a sizable minyan. they did this yearly, and they dealt with the garage smell. because that is the nature of this time of year. people who generally don't make it to shul make an effort to come. and those who are unsure of whether they will make it, coming from out of town, not recipients of the newsletter will not necessarily make reservations. there are those who are embarrassed not to pay, and won't make reservations because of that. if this happens every year, your shul needs to start discussing the issue right after sukkos for next year. there has to be a solution, and it can't be kicking people out of shul/resenting them. shuls need to serve the community. what happens if everyone reserves but there aren't enough seats?

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 7:16 am

BH 90% seats are unlabelled by me and whoever wants to come to shul come to shul and just sit elsewhere- or give the seat to rightful owner after. I'm simple like that. We never pay for a seat or membership like most people we know.

I've seen old non shomer members bring a sit.

DrMom

Tue, Sep 30 2014, 7:27 am

I never heard of binging your own seat to shul. Our shul sells seats, and there is a seating chart at the entrance. You can't just bring your own furniture and stick it in the aisles.

There are a few rows in the back which are unassigned and are left for those who want to attend but who did not buy seats.