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Does anyone else agree that it's ridiculous?
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 2:51 pm
I would love to name our kids Sara or Avraam, but my dh objects, because when our GRANDchild will be mentioned in shul or elsewhere as bas/ben Sara or Avraam, then people will assume they are geirim.
Rolling Eyes
I just don't know where to start with this mentality.
But I have friends (also BTs like us) who agree.

ETA: We don't do middle names.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 2:53 pm
My son's name is Avrohom, but he has a second name besides. Maybe that would be a good option, then it's not just ben Avrohom.

ETA I just saw your ETA. Sorry.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 2:56 pm
What if you don't use Sara or Avraham by themselves? If your kids have two names and one of them happens to be Sara or Avraham then it won't sound like their children could be geirim.

My daughter's middle name is Sara, so maybe I'm not so objective. Although the ger thing never occurred to us.

ETA: Oops, I also just saw your edit. What about naming for the other avos and imahos then?
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:10 pm
you mean, it is totally normal to think so?
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:16 pm
Who knows.

Middle names are nice. I like mine. It adds depth to the identity. Perhaps change your view on that.
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busydev




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:16 pm
I asked DH if someone would be called to an aliyah as X ben avrohom if he would assume they were a ger and he said no lots of people are named avrohom.

I know many people named plain sarah. and plain avrohom. they are nice normal names.
I think the people that were suggesting middle names were suggesting it cause if you are nervous about it then a middle name would be a good way to avoid the "issue" but truthfully I (and dh) dont see it as an issue.
we are both FFB if that makes a difference.
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m in Israel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:16 pm
I never heard this idea before. I have plenty of relatives named Avraham, and I have never heard this concern. I know plenty of "Sara"'s as well, some with middle names and some without.

I think these are pretty common names, actually, and certainly would not conclude that someone's parent's were geirim if I heard "ben Avraham" or "ben Sara". That being said, why would it be such a terrible thing if some stranger in shul hearing someone being called up for an Aliyah would wonder if their parent's were geirim? Is that so terrible? And presumably anyone who knows him personally would know it wasn't true, so even if you do think there is some stigma attached to being a ger, it is hard to see how it would play out just as the result of a name.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:23 pm
So many gedolim have a child named Sarah or Avraham... those are names you find in all Jewish cultures, and in all observances...
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:30 pm
You have to live with this particular husband, and he isn't going to be talked out of this, so give middle names.

There will be lots of cosmic reasons for them and it is all very good.

Some people consult a Rav if they need ideas for names and interesting things can come up.

Middle names anchor the person in history, or family history. Anchors are useful.


Last edited by Dolly Welsh on Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:31 pm; edited 2 times in total
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spring13




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:30 pm
Yes, it's ridiculous. Of all the things to be paranoid about, this one is a total waste.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:33 pm
OP here
I totally agree with you, M in Israel, besides I think it a bit stupid to plan how our grandchildren will be perceived.
I do think a middle name would have solved the problem, but it hasn't been an option yet (again why? Because when they grow up there MIGHT be a problem IN CASE they have to write a GET)
I guess I should have posted it in shalom bayis...

... And Sara and Avraham are names on dh's side!! I didn't make them up!
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:39 pm
People with middle names have written many gittim.

No offense, but your husband is playing Rav without a license (unless he is one, in which case I apologize). Without smicha you can't swim those deep waters, no matter how good a student you are.

Please have him consult a Rav, perhaps with you not present, out of tact, so as not to see him set straight.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:42 pm
I'm so happy that your husband has absolutely NOTHING to worry about...
BTW, my cousin is married to a ger. Her husband's name is not "Ben Avraham" but rather "Ben" a different name, since he was told he could use the name of the rabbi who converted him. (Yes, mainstream yeshivishe....there are many piskei halacha that aren't common knowledge)
So he's not really "preventing" any problems.
Just FYI
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:44 pm
debsey wrote:
I'm so happy that your husband has absolutely NOTHING to worry about...
BTW, my cousin is married to a ger. Her husband's name is not "Ben Avraham" but rather "Ben" a different name, since he was told he could use the name of the rabbi who converted him. (Yes, mainstream yeshivishe....there are many piskei halacha that aren't common knowledge)
So he's not really "preventing" any problems.
Just FYI


I know that. I know several people who did that. It's not like someone sues you if you use a different name.
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 4:18 pm
Yes. Ridiculous. Extremely so.
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finallyamommy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 4:33 pm
So, I'm a giyores.

I have a friend who has been davening for me every day for over two years (we're part of a tehillim group together for IF). My name, obviously, is ________________ bas Sara. And just last week I mentioned something about my gerus and she was surprised, completely bowled over, she knew I didn't grow up frum but she had been assuming all these years that my mother's name is Sara!

I think your grandkids will be fine :-)
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agreer




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 4:43 pm
My mother's name is Sarah. It's one of the most common names in the world! I know so many people named Sarah (just one name) and I don't think ANY of their children will have that issue in the future....

Please reassure your DH that you now know someone who's mother's name was Sarah and did not have a problem finding a shidduch because people assumed she was a giyores b/c of her mother's name.
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tovli toraspicha




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 4:48 pm
amother wrote:
you mean, it is totally normal to think so?


No it is not
I have never heard or thought of this before- only if someone would say ben Avraham Avinu would I even think of that at all!
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 4:49 pm
I would guess that the vast majority of people ben avraham or ben sara are in fact not geirim. So I do think it's strange to assume anything.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Sep 17 2014, 4:59 pm
My father in law is a ger. My mil is not. Her grandfather's name was Avrohom. He passed away shortly before DH was born. As a result they decided to name DH Avrohom.
After DH's bris a guest apparently told my fil who is Michoel ben Avrohom that when he heard the new baby's name of Avrohom he realized that it was a family name, and he wished him that his father should have an aliyas neshama.
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