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9 yo dd best friend is chutzpadik
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 01 2014, 8:46 pm
I HOPE your daughter is upset when you politely but firmly correct her friend.

It won't be pleasant for her but it will show her that she, herself, your daughter, is not a worm.

At present, she is in worm position, and that only leads to bad stuff down the road. Such as bullying or worse and worse.

SHOW your daughter she comes from people who have standards.

With luck it might only startle her a little but not upset her, not really.

If she truly makes a scene, that needs a new thread. But I am confident it won't happen.

A lot of good advice upthread.

You are on, OP. Clear your throat and do it.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 01 2014, 8:48 pm
rednavy wrote:
I was a very chutzpadik child. Although it worked when people would tell my parents, I felt so ashamed (I still feel bad about some things I heard back).
What I remember is, I was more chutzpadik when adults got defensive and threatening, if not to their faces then behind their backs.
But if a parent was kind, I would've done anything to please them. Not manipulative with charts or begging or stories, then I would resist. Just calm and firm and kind. Hope that helps.


Great insight, thanks for posting! I agree that a gentle reminder is better than a strong reaction. In my experience, telling the parents will get you exactly nowhere, and usually makes things worse for everyone. I'm sure my kid has her moments when at BFF's house, too.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Sep 01 2014, 9:53 pm
shanie5 wrote:
My house, my rules. If a kid is chutzpadik to me in my home, I will say "excuse me, that is unacceptable, want to try that again-politely?" If they do, I let it go, if they dont, I would send them home. Every time.


Hear, hear!
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amother


 

Post Mon, Sep 01 2014, 11:27 pm
Op here
Thanks everybody for the great advices. I will be positive and warm but still firm and tell her to rephrase her way of speaking if she will say anything chutzpadik. Dolly when you wrote about the worm it really stung me right through. You are so right.
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