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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
imaima
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Wed, Apr 23 2014, 8:51 am
After seeing the other thread, I have a question - even though I don't have a bar mitzvah boy yet - what happens if some men bring their young kids to shul when a boy is leining? I imagine the boy is super nervous and he has been preparing for months to lein his parshah, and then some toddlers just make noises, distract him and ruin the whole thing. Is it something to worry about? Has it ever happened to anyone?
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MaBelleVie
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Wed, Apr 23 2014, 9:15 am
Young kids who make noise and are that distracting don't belong in shul. A shul is a place for people to daven, or to sit quietly out of respect for those who are davening. Bar mitzvah or not.
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imaima
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Wed, Apr 23 2014, 9:18 am
MaBelleVie wrote: | Young kids who make noise and are that distracting don't belong in shul. A shul is a place for people to daven, or to sit quietly out of respect for those who are davening. Bar mitzvah or not. |
I totally agree with you but over and over again I see people bringing kids to our shul who run around the bima. Parents give them a lollypop but it only lasts for so long. One of the men has brought his two little kids for the entire 2-hour-shacharis! It was a disaster for him, his kids, and the rest of mitpalelim!!
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MaBelleVie
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Wed, Apr 23 2014, 9:28 am
That's terrible. My husband stopped davening at one minyan because too many men bring kids who have no decorum. If he can't make any other minyan, he'll daven at home over that place.
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skcomputer
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Wed, Apr 23 2014, 11:50 am
When my son was studying for his Bar Mitzvah, we prepared him for the case that someone (baby, kid, adult, fire alarm) would have some type of a problem, loud noise, distraction, etc. Even if there are no kids in shul or everyone is behaved perfectly, there could be any type of emergency that would cause a commotion, interruption or loud noise. We specifically rehearsed this during his layning and dvar torah final practices. BH no problems, but he was prepared about what to do.
Also, regarding general nervousness, my son leyned the first few aliyot of his parsha in the smaller hashkama minyan to shake out the nerves right before the main minyan started in a much larger space.
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greenfire
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Wed, Apr 23 2014, 12:09 pm
some boys are not allowed to layne because of inability to focus
but there's always the actual teacher who stands by his side to keep him on track or re-track - because kids do get nervous
people should watch their kids - shul is NOT a playground !!!
then again any simcha seems to give a heter for chaos during davening - even for the adults
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Fox
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Wed, Apr 23 2014, 1:45 pm
I'll echo MaBelleVie's point: young kids do not belong in shul except for very, very limited periods and occasions.
However, some people and some shuls are incredibly lax about the halachos involved. My advice would be to solicit the rav's cooperation -- and not just for the benefit of bar mitzvahs! Why should anyone leining or davening from the amud be required to put up with that kind of thing!?
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imaima
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Wed, Apr 23 2014, 3:02 pm
greenfire wrote: | some boys are not allowed to layne because of inability to focus
but there's always the actual teacher who stands by his side to keep him on track or re-track - because kids do get nervous
people should watch their kids - shul is NOT a playground !!!
then again any simcha seems to give a heter for chaos during davening - even for the adults |
Wow That's great that the teacher is there!!
I didn't know about it.
Anyway, thanks everyone for your replies.
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