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How do you tell ladies not to bring babies to simcha?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:07 pm
I don't want my babies at my simcha. How do I let ladies know?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:12 pm
Just curios why. I understand why you don't want 2 year olds- but babies? Honestly- I hate leaving my babies. I nurse them full time and they are cranky with new people.
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Eishes Chaim




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:20 pm
Children and babies aren't welcome to join a simcha- because you want a relaxed atmosphere. Just like you don't want 2 year olds running around, so too you don't want to have wailing babies and parked strollers all over the place. I would tell them openly that the simcha is an adults only affair, and you are giving them enough notice in advance so they can arrange for a babysitter.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:21 pm
amother wrote:
Just curios why. I understand why you don't want 2 year olds- but babies? Honestly- I hate leaving my babies. I nurse them full time and they are cranky with new people.


There are way too many. I wouldn't mind one or two but I counted 8 nursing moms. I don't want the strollers.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:22 pm
I don't think I would come.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:22 pm
How about say only car seats. No strollers.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:23 pm
Eishes Chaim wrote:
Children and babies aren't welcome to join a simcha- because you want a relaxed atmosphere. Just like you don't want 2 year olds running around, so too you don't want to have wailing babies and parked strollers all over the place. I would tell them openly that the simcha is an adults only affair, and you are giving them enough notice in advance so they can arrange for a babysitter.


It is a Bar Mitzvah. I am only have boys and adults. How would I word it? Do I put it on the invitation?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:24 pm
amother wrote:
I don't think I would come.


I am OK with that.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:25 pm
amother wrote:
How about say only car seats. No strollers.


I don't want the babies. There is a time and place for babies and a late simcha IMO is not the time and place.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:31 pm
How about not inviting them? I never went to a simcha without my baby, or toddler.
If they weren't welcome I stayed home with them.
My true friends wanted me with my kids, and when I made simchas I wanted everyone with their kids.
To me kids are joy. Not noise, not mess, pure nachas.
There are all different kinds of people in the world.

Of course, when it was possible to leave kids behind, I most certainly did.
But everyone remembers my simchas, where all are invited.
I even prepared shopping bags full of nosh and toys for every child (sometimes more than 50) for every simcha I ever made. BH where would we be without our precious kinderlach?

Children used to be "seen and not heard".
Or there were always people that wanted a perfect video without disturbances.
Children equal unpredictability.
Yes they can be rowdy, but how will they ever learn to behave if not included in simchas?
How will they ever get to know their cousins? Their family? What a simcha means?
Babies belong with their mothers. Have you never heard of attachment parenting?
If that means them not attending, then they won't be able to attend.

So in conclusion, it's your simcha, and your right and freedom to invite whomever you please.
If you can invite adults without hurting them, and without their babies/kids then I guess you can do so.
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flmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:31 pm
Yes write in the invitation "men and boys over the age of blank please"
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Kugglegirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:31 pm
IDK. My nursing babies under 1 year go everywhere with me, since I am their primary source of food & primary care giver.

Maybe you can have a coat check for strollers & put on the invitation-- "please contact me if you are bringing an infant."
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Eishes Chaim




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:31 pm
amother wrote:
It is a Bar Mitzvah. I am only have boys and adults. How would I word it? Do I put it on the invitation?


I've usually received the invitation, followed by a phone call to convey the message. This way you show them you are serious- and took the time to make this call cuz it's important to you.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:41 pm
amother wrote:
How about not inviting them? I never went to a simcha without my baby, or toddler.
If they weren't welcome I stayed home with them.
My true friends wanted me with my kids, and when I made simchas I wanted everyone with their kids.
To me kids are joy. Not noise, not mess, pure nachas.
There are all different kinds of people in the world.

Of course, when it was possible to leave kids behind, I most certainly did.
But everyone remembers my simchas, where all are invited.
I even prepared shopping bags full of nosh and toys for every child (sometimes more than 50) for every simcha I ever made. BH where would we be without our precious kinderlach?

Children used to be "seen and not heard".
Or there were always people that wanted a perfect video without disturbances.
Children equal unpredictability.
Yes they can be rowdy, but how will they ever learn to behave if not included in simchas?
How will they ever get to know their cousins? Their family? What a simcha means?
Babies belong with their mothers. Have you never heard of attachment parenting?
If that means them not attending, then they won't be able to attend.

So in conclusion, it's your simcha, and your right and freedom to invite whomever you please.
If you can invite adults without hurting them, and without their babies/kids then I guess you can do so.


These babies are not relatives. They are not the babies of close friends. I don't care about the video.
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SplitPea




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 22 2014, 10:45 pm
It's a hard thing because honestly to new even when I see an adults only event I assume a nursing infant under 6 months is completely okay. (I baby wear and don't take a stroller or car seat. Under 6 months the baby is literally attached to me 24/7.

I would say writing adults only on the invite and then making calls if it will really bother you. Many people see "no kids" as no toddlers not no lap infants
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abound




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 23 2014, 12:15 am
Be prepared that your relationship with your friends may change slightly if they realize that you would rather that they do not come to your simcha if it means them bringing an infant.
Personally, I get where you are coming from.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Apr 23 2014, 12:29 am
I don't think babies belong everywhere. Honestly, after I shell out good money for a babysitter , I have no interest in sitting next to someone with a baby who will either cry or try to yank something off my plate. I nursed all my kids and either found a way to go to certain simchas that were important and stay home from the mere acquaintance type simchas.
In my circles it is not proper etiquette to bring a baby unless you've discussed it with the person making the simcha.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Apr 23 2014, 12:41 am
I personally thought frum people were more open to this. Most pple kh have babies.
Not everyone can afford or find a babysitter available.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Apr 23 2014, 1:09 am
You say there are 8 babies. Do you NOT want these 8 mothers to come???
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amother


 

Post Wed, Apr 23 2014, 1:13 am
amother wrote:
You say there are 8 babies. Do you NOT want these 8 mothers to come???


I would rather they stay home than come with babies. I cut 6 other nursing mothers who are daughters and dils of friends. This is not a large affair.
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