I have seen a bad guest, and she is me

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Forum -> Relationships -> Guests

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granolamom

Sun, Apr 13 2014, 6:20 pm

We are currently staying at my sil and I have become that guest you complain about. First night here, my dd peed on the bed. Then ds tracked in dog poop. Another ds forgot and ate chometz all over the house. Another kid started vomiting today and sil took us to the ped, who forgot about us after doing a rapid strep test and left the office for Yerushalayim. My kids have been complaining non stop, they are all jet lagged and keeping me up all night so I am sleeping a lot during the day totally taking advantage of my niece who is watching the kids. Dh borrowed sils car about two min before bil needed it, we have eaten them out of house and home and inconvenienced them by using the washing machine. And I forgot to turn off the dud after my shower last night.

But I brought her a really nice gift Smile

amother

Sun, Apr 13 2014, 6:24 pm

If she doesn't invite u back next year....

greenfire

Sun, Apr 13 2014, 6:36 pm

well - as least you know there's room for improvement ...

November

Sun, Apr 13 2014, 6:52 pm

What was the nice gift that you bought her?

rae gi

Sun, Apr 13 2014, 6:52 pm

What was the gift you brought? I hope it's a Cadillac. Wink

yo'ma

Sun, Apr 13 2014, 7:32 pm

You're lucky it's your sister because anyone else would have kicked you out already Mad

nyer1

Sun, Apr 13 2014, 8:15 pm

at least most of those things are normal kid things. she can't really blame u for your kid getting sick or for a young child getting to chometz etc etc.
However,
try your best to anticipate the things they may need to use before you use them. ask if it's ok to use things, ask if you are inconveniencing them by borrowing something, and at least offer to chip in for some of the pesach expenses. if you show hakaras hatov by doing these things, you are an excellent guest.

just don't take advantage, even if your niece does offer to babysit...

amother

Sun, Apr 13 2014, 8:40 pm

You need to get me a second nice gift. Loved the first.

ectomorph

Sun, Apr 13 2014, 9:00 pm

Invite her for next year

PAMOM

Sun, Apr 13 2014, 9:21 pm

Being a bad guest would be not acknowledging the difficulty your visit us causing. Kids do stuff and get sick; a bad guest ( unlike you) never acknowledges the added trouble for the hostess. You're a family with kids-- that's not being a bad guest!
Thank her repeatedly for all she's doing. Maybe you can take her kids out for a day during chol hamoed.

chani8

Mon, Apr 14 2014, 2:21 am

PAMOM wrote:

Or maybe she can take your kids out during chol hamoed. After all, you need a rest from all this! Wink

chani8

Mon, Apr 14 2014, 2:24 am

Granolamom, you're in EY!!! Welcome and hope the rest of your stay is wonderful!!

granolamom

Wed, Apr 16 2014, 4:15 pm

My sil is actually quite fabulous and keeps saying how it is so her pleasure to host us. I think she may even mean it. She wouldn't kick us out in any case because she's too good of a daughter to do that, we're here because my ils wanted us to come but they are unable to host us. Now that things have calmed down a bit I have reciprocated with child care and errands and such, so I guess I'm not so terrible after all. We rarely go away and often host, so this was a good experience for me...teaches me to see things from the other side a bit.

And chani8, I would love to bump into you while we're here as unlikely as that would be.

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