Would you want to be told?

Posted: Tue, Aug 21 2012, 1:06 pm Post subject: would you want to be told?

If you're on vacation or away and is not coming home until your scheduled time, would you want to be told if your child has fever and was brought to the doctor?

I was away for the weekend, left friday and came back monday. My 9 year old ds had fever on sunday and my fil brought him to the doctor. I don't know how high. My dh told me that he told me, which his father told him, but I don't remember at all, so either I'm extremely forgetful or he made a mistake. I spoke to my ds sunday night and he didn't say anything. I asked him today why he didn't tell me and he said my mil said he shouldn't tell me so I won't worry. She's the worry type that gets nervous about every little thing. I am not at all. I wouldn't have worried because I knew he was in good hands and I don't jump up every time my children have a fever (another thread).
Would you want to be told, just to know what's going on with your children?

Gold Member Joined: Oct 09 2011 Posts: 1068

yes, as I'm the one to make a decision if child needs to see dr. (and which dr.) and if I want kid to take medication or not.

as an aside, I have my sil son (she had a baby) his father took him to dr. and he is on medication now. the dr. also sent a nebulizer for him. I'm afraid he'll get traumatized if I use the nebulizer as he's at my house for the first time and he's only 3 years. WWYD?

Posted: Tue, Aug 21 2012, 1:28 pm Post subject: re: would you want to be told?

Nothing is more important than breathing yksraya. Sing, read books, have the other kids sign and dance and entertain him. The first time with the nebulizer may not be fun, but if he needs it generally they will quickly realize it helps and come to appreciate it. Any which way, if a child needs nebulizer treatments they aren't optional.

FWIW it works best and reaches deepest if they are screaming... keep that in mind if he hates it. Smile

_________________
Liba, mommy to Zlata Tova 5/6/98, Tziporah Faiga 1/12/01, Esther Rivka 7/13/04 and Avraham Chaim 7/2/2006

Gold Member Joined: Apr 27 2010 Posts: 1974

For sure! You don't hide things from a mother. Worry or no worry, a mother needs to know what's going on with her kids. If she leaves specific instructions not to tell her, that's different. But imo, it's completely inappropriate to withhold info about a child's medical status from the mother.

Posted: Tue, Aug 21 2012, 1:56 pm Post subject: re: would you want to be told?

(Anon bec I've discussed this IRL with friends) I recently went on vaction with dh and my 18 month old woke up with fever of 102 on the last day of our vacation. My mother (who was watching him) took off work and took him to the doctor. The doctor said everything looks fine so my mother gave him tylenol and didn't tell me about it when we came home later that night. I was fine with not being told earlier, this way we had a relaxing day rather than worrying about something we couldn't do anything about. As soon as I came home I was given a very specific rundown of when the fever started, what the doctor checked and said and what my baby had to eat or drink. So noone was trying to hide any info from me.
Before I left for vacation I gave my mother my kids insurance cards, a letter giving her rights to make medical decisions and the pediatricians phone number so my mother knew I would be ok with her taking my child to the doctor.

Diamond Member Joined: Jan 14 2011 Posts: 2732

I would want to know. no matter what.
I was in this situation twice. once, my MIL didn't want me to worry while on vacation an my child had a fever (she took him to the doctor, it turned out to be strep. she told me about it three days later when I came back.)
and once in day camp, my son was hurt, and they didn't call me until he was checked by hatzola and everything was okay "so that I shouldn't worry."
obviously, the day camp one was really wrong, while my MIL had a valid reasoning not to tell. but both upset me, because I am the mother, and it is up to me alone to decide if I should worry or not.