My son just doesn't listen to a thing I say!

I'm starting to go nuts. My otherwise delightful giggly smart smiley boy has turned into a monster at home! At camp he is great and he was the same at school last year. He will be 3 next month. The morning hours are a disaster. It takes forever to chase him around to change his diaper and get him dressed. He kvetches and yells all morning if he doesnt get something he wants from the fridge. First cereal, then a banana, then a yogurt, and on and on. He seriously isn't hungry but is so demanding. He wants cheese, I give him a piece, but nooooo he wants from the closed package! he wants a popsicle for breakfast (he will seriously kvetch and whine about it for 2 hours straight!). he throws any food on the floor that he doesnt want. he throws his cup of water down (thats why he still drinks from a sippy cup!). I ask him to keep his voice down when he comes home from camp as to not wake his younger brother. walks in sininging on the TOp OF HIS LUNGS, I ask him to use a spoon for his soop, he just splashes his hands in and makes a huge mess. I dont know what to do anymore, I am really loosing patience. even my husband is going nuts and he only sees him for half and hour in the morning and half an hour at night. what am I doing wrong? why is he being so defiant? is he acting out because he is angry with me? am I focusing too much on the baby (1 yr old!)? ive been taking him swimming, baking cookies, out for walks. trying to keep him busy. truth be told this has all gotten worse since I cut his nap. now he is awake 13 hours straight, maybe we both just need that break! but I cut it because he would sleep 2 hours and then have trouble falling asleep until after 9pm. anyway does anyone have any parenting tips? how do I respond to him when he misbehaves? sometimes im really ready to slap him but I just walk away and take long deep breaths. sometimes I cry.

omg! except for the having a one year old part, this could almost be me. I have no advice but I am trying to use everything as teachable moments. If he is in his high chair, I let him kvetch and ignore until he calms and is willing to take from the choices I give. When starts eating with his hands or throwing, things are removed. Kvetching, too bad etc... I am slowly going crazy but I hope this too shall pass. He is becoming totally bidavka opposite to EVERYTHING. He always said no when I even ask him something. Dh doesn't know how to deal with it either. It is frustrating.

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 20 2009 Posts: 7666

It's the age, and he won't be that age forever! I talk to the walls all day long. Sometimes I ignore behaviors, sometimes I bribe, sometimes I give lots of positive attention, sometimes objects are removed, and sometimes he goes in time out. It depends on the situation.

My main goals are: maintain my authority, and give him lots of attention to prevent negative attention seeking behaviors.

Most days I'm at my wits end. This too shall pass.

Silver Member Joined: Oct 28 2009 Posts: 789

I could have written this post word for word, except for the 1 yr old, as ds has 2 younger sibling, bh and hes the oldest (just turned 3). im glad to know im not alone. also, I was beginning to think theres something wrong that he has absolutely no interest in going tot the bathroom. anyways, I try to stay calm through all his kvetching, tantrums, hollering, etc... I ask him to go shout and cry somewhere else cuz I plain and simply have no interest in listening to him. when hes ready to be quiet and talk nicely, I will gladly listen. when he doesnt listen to things such as put your yamulka on, pick up the siddur from the floor, I will take his younger sibling by the hand and offer to give her a treat, play a game with her, read and book. this makes him come running, but I wont talk to him until he listens to me. not sure if im using good tactics, but you gotta do what works best

can you try having him nap earlier, so it shouldnt disturb his bedtime?

OP here, thanks ladies- misery loves company. To the above poster, I wish I could nap him at 11:30am but I cant! he's in camp (I tried bringing him home early but it didnt help, he finishes at 130) and in Sept he will be in school, so also not an option to get him napping before 1/130pm.

What do most people do with naps? Aren't most 3 year olds in school? My son still needs the nap but I just wont give it to him so late in the day, it really destroys bedtime. I napped him as long as I could, I wish it were longer... but it seems he was showing signs of being ready to cut it just before 3 when I'd find him staying awake past 7pm.

No way, no nap for that age.
You make sure they give it up.
You keep them up with force, entertain them, take them outside to play, it takes weeks and they'll be all tired and crazy in the afternoons, but then they learn to go without a nap.

A 3 yr old should pull though the day (and it can really take hard WEEKS to train them to skip it, yes sometimes you feel like you're going crazy), and 6:45 into bed!

Gold Member Joined: Aug 19 2011 Posts: 2047

I agree. Maintain your authority and your sanity. Pick your battles. And no nap. DD2.75 is in bed at 6:30 most days right now. Give lots of hugs and cuddles.