Dd friend is a slob

Posted: Sat, Aug 04 2012, 11:54 pm Post subject: Dd friend is a slob

Dd's friend age 12, is staying by us for a couple of weeks while parents are away. Friend is sweet, helpful, and easy to have around, great personality, happy go lucky...which is why I offered to host her while her parents are away. Unfortunately she is a slob. When she first came we unpacked together and I helped her find a place for all her things, like her t shirts on a shelf in the closet, hanging space, and a draw for her undergarments, etc. every time she gets dressed, I find her pile of previously worn clothing on the floor. (I have a hamper in the room for laundry if needed so it's not like she has no where to put it). At first I asked her to please go pick up her things, and she did so right away. Next time I saw her clothing dumped I just left it there to see what would happen. I found it later stuffed into my kids shelf, and I couldn't acces my kids things. I asked her to please take it put and put it where it belongs. It's still there.

So how do I deal with this? I don't feel the need to be mechanech her on how to keep neat, but I do want a decent kept room since she shares with my kids. How do I go about this nicely without sounding bossy or mean? She is here without her parents so it's not that easy. Also at this age, 12, should kids be expected to pick up after themselves? (my kids do).

Posted: Sun, Aug 05 2012, 12:01 am Post subject: re: Dd friend is a slob

I would tell her what is expected in your house since she will be there several weeks. My eleven year olds need reminders daily.

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

at 12 a child can certainly be expected to pick up after herself. I think you just have to keep reminding her of what the house rules are. Nicely, since you say she's a nice kid.

Is she a slob in other ways? If it's only the laundry, maybe she's uncomfortable with the idea of having her laundry mixed in with your household's. Ask her if she'd like to have a place for her own dirty laundry, and if so, bring in a large carton or laundry basket just for her stuff.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2272 Location: US

She might come from a home with different standards of neatness. Kids for sure can be trained to pick up after themselves, but not all parents are so good about it, so she might not be used to it, especially in a different environment. Some people/ families are just more laid back, some are more rigid. If you do tell her your house rules, I think you need to be very careful to come across friendly, otherwise she might feel embarrassed or uncomfortable, especially that she will be staying in your home a long time. I think Zaq's idea of giving her her own laundry basket might be good.