Would you do it if DH prob won't agree

I need a job ASAP I've been trying to find something and no success.
I was raised in a way of thought that there is no under job ( ie a job too degrading to do).
As my last resort I would want to maybe clean pps home ( frum pp) but a) I'm sure DH will be embarrassed if I do that ( he didn't want me to be a cashier at a stor for fear that I'd be embarrassed, when I told him I wouldn't he started giving lots of excuses as to why I should do this job). Now hold I might feel a bit uncomfortable cleaning pp home I don't think it's degrading it's a job like any other and I would earn my money working hard like everyone else.
B) I would NEVER tell my parents because even if they raised me not to think any job is under job they would freak out knowing I'm a cleaning lady ( I know it sounds hypocrite but nothing I can do about that) also they would be concerned as I have health problem ( carrying heavy load isn't good for me and I'm out of breath easy but that doesn't mean I work slow, I'm a fast person)

What do you think? Should I tell DH I'm thinking of doing that? Would you clean frum pps home from your community? Also I'm a bit scared of what pp are going to say behind my back Crying or Very sad

..... But we REALLY NEED the money NOW

Where do you live? Maybe someone on here can help you find something....

would you be willing to cook for the families? you can call yourself a housekeeper or personal chef. and if you're in brooklyn, pm me, I know someone who's looking for a frum housekeeper (last I checked, anyway).

I don't see anything wrong with doing this. how is this so different from babysitting? it's taking over household responsibilities for adults who cannot do it all on their own. kudos to you for considering this.

Active Poster Joined: Jul 22 2012 Posts: 30

I can totally understand what you mean about making an honest living and working for it then it's fine but I can also understand your husband and how he would feel embarrassed . Maybe you can make a small play group in ur house and babysit two three kids from ur community .

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 20 2009 Posts: 7950

If you want to do this, it might be easier on him if you don't work for frum people. Why not advertise and try to get jobs in a different nearby neighborhood? Frum people might be uncomfortable hiring you anyway. And you can make a lot more per hour in certain neighborhoods.

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 11 2010 Posts: 3170

Kudos to you for doing what needs to get done. In our community, the mikva hires frum women to clean at night and they pay well. Why not try that?

Executive Member Joined: Jul 25 2011 Posts: 370

Sorry for being so fickle, but with this one I'd have to agree with your husband. I wouldn't allow myself to be a cleaning lady, and I wouldn't want my husband to have a job of that caliber, either. I'm not ashamed to say that I do care about society's standards, to some degree. Your job should be something that you and DH are both comfortable with. For example, if he didn't want you to work crazy long hours so you could be home with the kids that would be a valid request. So is this.

Executive Member Joined: May 14 2012 Posts: 447

If your husband doesn't want you to be cleaning houses then you shouldn't. Cleaning is hard work and if you have a health problem it may make it even harder. Why don't you babysit? People are always looking for frum babysitters/nanny. hatzlocha

Diamond Member Joined: Apr 27 2006 Age: 30 Posts: 2547

I've heard of frum women working for others as cooks/babysitters in their homes, also driving carpools, etc. And they would bring their own child/baby. Some people specifically want a frum person in their kitchen and home. WOuld you consider something like that?

I also saw advertised once a frum girl offered to help with house projects like organizing closets, errands, child care, helping out for a simcha with anything that needs to be done. Maybe that would go over better, I just don't know how steady the pay would be.

I think you're amazing that you're willing to do this. I think a consideration you have to take in mind is your husband's embarrassment as well as your own. Some men might consider it an embarrassment for him to so publicly not be providing for your family so that you have to "resort" to this job. (I'm not saying I believe this, but just something that could be going through their minds.) Even if this were your dream job and you love cleaning, or if you really don't care what the public has to say, it's very important not to embarrass your husband. Only you can know if this would apply to your husband or not. I know my husband would be mortified if his wife had to be a cleaning lady.

Silver Member Joined: Aug 18 2010 Posts: 561

Thank you everyone.

Im not in Brooklyn, groisamOmma I think we might be in the same city, where do you live?

I wouldn't mind being a cook and I think a frum lady cleaning is good bec I def won't mess up the kashrut

I haven't brought this idea up to DH but I think if he didn't want me being a cashier I can only imagine a cleaning lady!!

Out of curiosity if I do cooking for pp and I cook at their house ho much do I charge and I'd obviously do the shopping and clean afterwards.

Senior Member Joined: Oct 29 2009 Posts: 222

good for you
you realize u guys need the money and ur taking a step towards helping out, u should b very proud!
no job is degrading, and cleaning/cooking/looking after children is a wonderful thing to do:)

I wish u lots of hatzlacho finding a job
_________________

Not OP. I had a similar situation. No money. My husband did not want me waitressing for the same reasons a OP. I just struggled through. It was too much stress for me.

OP, the cleaning is not good because of your health.

Executive Member Joined: May 25 2010 Posts: 327

I would think that you could charge per hour, like witmost other jobs. Except you could probably charge more than a cleaning ladys salary because you are frum and because you would be held more responsible than with cleaning.

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 17 2009 Posts: 4092

I have a friend who started a personal chef business awhile ago. It took a few months, but she has steady clients. Maybe you should look into that.