Am I scarring him for life?

Posted: Wed, Aug 01 2012, 2:21 pm Post subject: Am I scarring him for life?

DS is 15 months and has been getting PT since 8 months for hypotonia. He screams the whole session, from the minute the therapist walks in the door until the minute he walks out. I know he's not in pain, just frustrated and annoyed with the exercises. He needs the therapy though and has been making amazing progress. But he gets so worked up, and he looks at me throughout like why are you making me do this. I'm scared I'm traumatizing him. The PT says lots of kids kick and scream at him, it's normal. I know, and it makes sense, but I still need reassurance.

Senior Member Joined: Jul 14 2011 Posts: 195

Have you considered requesting another therapist? If you say he is not in pain then he should not be screaming the whole time. The situation is obviously distressing to him or he would not be crying. If pain is not a factor then the way the therapy session is going clearly is.

Posted: Wed, Aug 01 2012, 2:36 pm Post subject: re: Am I scarring him for life?

honestly, this would really bother me. the therapist doesn't have a good rapport with your child. it obviously bothers you as well. I would say trust your gut. if you even have to ask if this is scarring him for life, there is something wrong with this situation.

Posted: Wed, Aug 01 2012, 3:01 pm Post subject: re: Am I scarring him for life?

If he's not in pain then there's something very wrong with the situation. My toddler is afraid of certain people and not of others (one of my cleaning ladies, old people with whom she's not familiar, the occasional stranger) otherwise she's extremely friendly and cheerful with strangers. Her favorite people are preteen or teenage girls or young women.

I say find a different therapist and see if the situation improves.
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Posted: Wed, Aug 01 2012, 3:07 pm Post subject: re: Am I scarring him for life?

I'm a therapist. Working with kids means you have to find ways to get them to do what you want while thinking they're just having fun and playing games. The only therapists I've seen treating kids who cry every single session are therapists who can't do that well. They may know their stuff, but they don't work well with kids, or only work well with some.

I wouldn't hesitate a second before switching to a different therapist. Yes, this sounds damaging to your child's psyche.

Posted: Wed, Aug 01 2012, 3:32 pm Post subject: re: Am I scarring him for life?

OP here- so it seems this isn't so normal. I should clarify though, that he cries when DH and/or I do the exercises with him between sessions (he only gets them once a week), so I do think the big factor is that he finds the exercises unpleasant, just not because of pain. He does stop crying the second the therapist leaves, which is why I'm concerned that something else is going on. However, I am always there the whole time and I've never seen anything worrisome in their interaction. I think he just hates the therapist because he sees his face and knows it means time to do the exercises he hates. In any event, I am going to call and ask to switch anyway just because if there's a chance a different therapist might mean no crying, it's worth a shot.

Posted: Wed, Aug 01 2012, 5:30 pm Post subject: re: Am I scarring him for life?

I've taken several babies, in my life as a foster mom, and with my child with CP, for PT, and I can tell you that sometimes it is the child and not the therapist at all. I used the same two therapists for various children, and some kids, esp low tone, cry a lot. Low tone means they are very weak and the exercises are very difficult.

OTOH, there are a few shitas that rightly claim that a child will do better if they are successful and motivated. If they are successful they'll be more motivated, and with motivation, they'll be more successful. Your job is to find out what makes them both motivated and successful. Usually to be successful, you have to break the exercised down into manageable steps. To motivate, you have to have rewards, whether that be cheering or toys or attn. You can help a child to feel successful by cheering at their littlest efforts. But you have to be paying attn and give them that reward right when they make that little bit of effort, so they see the results immediately.

Anyway, what you should be getting from the therapist is directions for what to do with your child at home. You should be becoming the expert PT for your child. It is a full time job and your PT barely has to touch your child, except to help you learn what to do.

And when your child cries, you have every right to say to the PT, "Enough, just show me what to do, and explain to me the goals."