Should I tell my cousin I'm exchanging her gift? (She asked)

I know this is not a huge issue but Im trying to re-build a close relationship with my cousin so I'd like to hear other people's perspective on this.

I had a baby 4 months ago B"H and I received a gift from my cousin yesterday. It is an outfit in 3-6 month size and a gift receipt is included along with a note saying she really hopes the outfit will still be OK but she is enclosing the gift receipt anyway. My baby is very large and I imagine will only get 3-4 weeks wear out of the outfit (and in fact we already have a ton of clothes in this size so this one will get even less wear.)

So... I sent my cousin a message to say thanks and we love the outfit and she replied saying again asking if it fits and saying she hopes we don't have to change it.

Ordinarily I would not be able to change it anyway because we do not live in the country where she bought it so I woudn't be able to take it back but as it happens we ARE going to be there in 2 weeks so we could potentially exchange it and I was planning on doing so so I could get something for the next season that my baby would get more wear out of.

Since my cousin is asking if it fits, what should I reply? It seems rude to say "actually, no it doesn't so I'm going to exchange it" even though she included the gift receipt.

I actually really love the outfit but the shop probably isn't still selling that style so I'd have to get something different. The other option is keeping it and having her wear it just a few times but it seems a waste.

Gold Member Joined: Aug 24 2010 Posts: 1488

I am sometimes too honest, but I'd probably say something like "thank you so much, we love the outfit. Little Perel is on the big side, though, and it would be a shame for your outfit to only last her a few weeks. We're going to be near that store in 2 weeks' time, so I'm planning on exchanging it for the next size up. I really hope they still have that style because I love it and would love to put my baby in it... but if they don't have the same style, I'm going to have to buy something else. Either way, I'll send you a picture of her in the outfit that we end up getting.

I hope that's okay. Thanks again for the present!

She asked if it fits and it does, so why not just tell her that it is adorable and fits perfectly?
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Liba, mommy to Zlata Tova 5/6/98, Tziporah Faiga 1/12/01, Esther Rivka 7/13/04 and Avraham Chaim 7/2/2006

Could you try the outfit on your baby, tuck the tags in, snap and picture and take it off so you can send her a picture?

Gold Member Joined: Jul 14 2009 Posts: 2094

personally, I'd usually go w/ KB's advice, BUT if you are trying to re-build a relationship & this cousin is sensitive, I'd "invest" this outfit for the cause. Use it for as long as long as you can & thank her profusely, telling her how much you love it & wore it to this or that occasion. I look at gifts as extras anyways, so if something doesn't work (size/season wise-this happened to me as well) out or is not to my taste I don't feel like I lost out.

Diamond Member Joined: Feb 21 2011 Posts: 2693

Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4549 Location: Ohio

The relationship with the cousin is worth more than the new outfit you'd get after you exchanged it. Let the baby wear it for a few weeks and hold onto it for I"YH the next baby or to pass on to someone else when you are done with it.

That in itself could be a nice thing to say to the cousin, that the outfit is so cute that you look forward to seeing it not only on this baby, but on another baby in the future.
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mommy to 2 girls, 1 boy

"I would rather have my people laugh at my economies than weep for my extravagance."
--King Oscar of Sweden

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Gold Member Joined: Aug 24 2010 Posts: 1488

By the way, I got one baby present from a friend - no need to 'build up' the relationship, and she's perfectly normal, so I don't have to think 10 times about how she might react, but it was something I had no need for.

She gave it to me the day before we left to Israel, and when she emailed me about it, I just didn't answer... and anyway, almost 10 months later, we were emailing again, and she asked if it still fit him... so I told the truth. I could have answered, no he outgrew it (because he definitely would have!) but instead I told her that it wasn't something I could use, and I wanted to have something from her that I would be able to get use out of and think of her, so I had my mother return it, and that next time I'm in NY, I'll buy something else from her for my baby.

And you know what? She said she's so happy to hear that. She knew it wasn't that practical, but had to get something just then because we were leaving the next day, and she's very happy that I'm going to get something else for him instead. And that I should let her know what I end up getting him. (I unfortunately haven't gotten around to getting a replacement yet - I really should asap - but that's not the point of the story...)

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

Tell the truth, that your dd grew a lot and that you're so pleased your cosusin included the receipt so you'll be able to exchange for a bigger size. She left the receipt in there for a reason. Why would a person be offended if you say an item is too small? Especially id she came right out and asked?

A diamond, yes, it would be insulting to say it's too small, but a baby outfit? Your cousin had no way of knowing how fast your baby would grow or even how sizes in her country run as compared to sizes in this country.

I think that your cousin, havong bothered to send you a gift AND having included the receipt AND having asked if it fits, would vastly prefer you get something bigger that the baby will actually use for a while. Go ahead and tell her you love it and hope to get the same thing in a larger size and then quit while you're ahead. No need to append "but if they're sold out I'll have to get something else." Your cousin is intelligent enough to realize that.