Leave toddler in familiar or unfamiliar surroundings?

I will soon be traveling with my husband for 3-4 days, for the first time leaving behind my 19-month-old daughter,who is still nursing.

I have two options:
a. To leave all the kids (ages 15 and under) at home and have their regular baby-sitter sleep over.
b. To divide the kids between different families, putting the baby together with the 15YO.

All the other kids have slept over at friends' houses before, and I'm not worried about them either way.

If I leave them at home, she will be in familiar surroundings with all her siblings and the babysitter she knows. On the other hand, she will constantly see my empty bed (where she's used to being nursed) and will be reminded of my absence.

If I divide them, she will not be continuously reminded of me, but she will be in totally unfamiliar surroundings, with other kids and their mother, which may be even more unsettling. This option has the additional disadvantage of having to impose on other families.

In either case, the brunt of caring for her and comforting her at night will fall on my 15YO daughter.

I'm leaning more towards option a., but would like to hear what other people think.
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hadasa. One 'h', one 's'.

"...the eternal Jewish wealth is when we ... bring into the world children and descendants who keep Torah and Mitzvos." (Hayom Yom)

Executive Member Joined: Oct 29 2009 Posts: 368

I think being at home would probably be easier for her, routine is so comfortable for kids. However, if you choose to send her away, I don't think it will be terrible either, children go away all the time and manage just fine.

Gold Member Joined: Apr 27 2010 Posts: 1971

I think home is best with siblings...

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 20 2009 Posts: 7583

Kids do best in their home. My ds does better at home with a new sitter than in an unfamiliar home with me.

Executive Member Joined: Jun 02 2011 Age: 24 Posts: 411

I think staying home is best if your worried about her seeing your bed why not leave your door closed
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Perhaps one option would be to let the 15 yo watch her during the day, but by evening/ bedtime, take her home to her familiar bed.

Platinum Member Joined: Apr 12 2010 Posts: 5764

If you don't mind to have them all at home alone with your 15yo all day then I would take that option. Kids are most comfortable and happy at home.

So long as your 15yo is up for it.
I watched my siblings many times when I was that age (not over night) I also did it once with my (at the time) 2yo sister, 5yo brother and I was 15. It was not easy but I stayed at my grandparents so they helped.
(I changed ALL the diapers AND cleaned up puke Laughing

will NEVER forget that week!)
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So, I had decided to leave them all at home with the babysitter, but now my daughter doesn't want her. (I admit, this babysitter has a tendency to get on your nerves sometimes.) However, I'm definitely not ready to leave my daughter in charge at home by herself. It looks like I'm going to send them to the campus near our town, where there are other Frum families living. They can eat in the campus dining room and there will be people she can turn to if she needs help. We spend Shabbos there quite often, so it won't be completely unfamiliar, and I do think the baby will be looking for me less there. Hoping for the best....