My dd doesnt play with dolls

Posted: Sun, Jul 08 2012, 12:23 pm Post subject: my dd doesnt play with dolls

she is not a tomboy at all, so I dont think its b/c she's just not interested. she's quite girly, even though she has lots of brothers.
but I have noticed that she has never known what to do with a doll. the art of walking a doll across the floor and pretending something or other, and making the doll speak and all that type of pretend play, she has no clue how to do it. I have tried playing with her, and she just watches me. when I tell her to make her doll say something or what should we do next, she asks me to decide and do it.
maybe she just has no imagination?
she's 7 and I notice the big difference now between her and her 2 yr old sister who seems to have no trouble at all holding a doll and and making it look out the window, making it go to sleep, pretending the doll is biting her, and saying ow, etc.
I think when my older dd was much younger she would put dolls to sleep, maybe feed them too, but the idea of being in the dolls head so to speak and making it think and feel, that act she has never done. she only plays TO the doll. do you know what I mean? feed the doll, but not make the doll say I'm hungry.
is this something to be concerned about?

Every child is different. Why make an issue over this?

Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4540 Location: Ohio

Does she do imaginative play with other things (stuffed animals, Littlest Pet Shop). Neither of my girls every played that much with baby dolls, although we always had them in the house.
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she has dolls and all kinds of things to play with. I dont care if she plays with them or not, I am concerned that maybe she is missing a developmental milestone.
is there a developmental milestone that is that a child should be able to use her imagination to pretend to be something she isnt? to get into the mind of another being, and feel what another being is feeling.
she does not do imaginative play where she acts out the doll or bear or car feeling something and wanting something. this is my concern.
her imaginative play consists of her doing things to the dolls, bears, or cars, and not acting them out.
I remember when I was a little girl making up elaborate scenarios with my dolls acting out all sorts of things. she has never ever done anything like this.
and not that she could but chooses not to. she cant.
if she could and didnt want to I wouldnt care. but I suspect that she cant.

Gold Member Joined: May 09 2010 Posts: 2107

Are you serious? There's more than one way to play with dolls. I never pretended to make mine talk, I mostly got them dressed in different outfits and things like that. But no, I'm definitely not lacking in imagination. Just because she doesn't use them the way you would doesn't mean there's something wrong with her. If she didn't play with them at all, that would be ok too.
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I just want to add that my boys can set up an elaborate bank robbery going on with their legos and every kid gets a part to play, the robber, the cop, etc.
they include her in these games and she doesnt know what to do with her person.

Posted: Sun, Jul 08 2012, 1:03 pm Post subject: re: my dd doesnt play with dolls

If she has proper social skills with her friends, then it shouldn't be a problem.

Posted: Sun, Jul 08 2012, 1:05 pm Post subject: re: my dd doesnt play with dolls

This is not an issue. This is nothing to worry about. Dolls are not required for normal developmental growth. Neither does a child need to engage in imaginary play where they act out parts.
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Gold Member Joined: May 09 2010 Posts: 2107

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Platinum Member Joined: Sep 11 2004 Posts: 19241

Feeding the dolls is imaginative enough. She doesn't have to go so far as to pretend the doll is talking.

I know what you are concerned about because when my oldest was a toddler, he had no idea what to do with toys such as a ball, cars, etc. Only when my second son came around did I realize we had a problem.
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Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8962

Assuming your dd is normally socialized, what's the problem? So she doesn't pretend to "be" the doll--that sounds rather weird to me, actually. My dd didn't play much with dolls, either, now that I think about it, and though she had a million stuffed animals they served more as decoration than anything else. Didn't seem to have done her any harm. She's an exceptionally well socialized young lady (this is a direct quote from a teacher, btw, not my own biased view) working in a helping profession that requires plenty of empathy and all kinds of delicate people skills.

Unless your dd is not normally socialized, I think you're worrying over nothing.

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8962

There is no "right" way to play with a doll. There are some wrong ways--like ripping off the heads and limbs and sticking them in the mouth--but even then, you have to look at the overall picture and not draw disturbing conclusions without other evidence. My sister was horrible with dolls, went as far as pulling off the heads--I think she wanted to see what was inside--but she is not only not a psychopath axe murderer but a very good parent and a very good person in general. Also quite analytical and always looking to see how something is put together.