Sit down meal in shul for everyone?

If someone makes a kiddush in shul, can anyone join? It's in the shul which doors are open for one and all, but the food is not from the shul. What if it was a sit down meal? We just made a bar mitzva in shul on shabbos and afterwards we had a sit down meal. The only ones who came were the ones who were invited and that was everyone in shul. We invited everyone who davens in shul and others. What if a stranger comes in for that week, can you tell him that he cannot eat because it's a seudas mitzva that we're giving? We can't kick him out or even stop him from sitting because it is shul, not a private place like a hall. The eating is in the shul itself, there's no other room. This is all hypothetical. My dh had a disagreement with the other members of shul about this, so I'm wondering what others say.
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It depends a lot on the culture and size of your congretation, and the type of catered function.

At my shul, "regular" kiddush (sponsored by the membership at my shul, the sisterhood at others) is open to everyone. The overwhelming majority of sponsored "simcha" kiddushes are open to everyone. Occasionally an announcement is made that the guests of the simcha family are invited to a kiddush/luncheon in one room, and everyone else is invited to a regular kiddush in another room.

Sit-down meals? We typically don't have them at kiddush, but we do at seuda shelishit, and they are open to everyone. I have been to shtibel-type shuls where there is a sit-down kiddush in the shul for everyone; the occasional visitor (including me Laughing

) appeared to be welcome to stay.

Sit-down luncheon (after kiddush): for invited guests only in my community. These are typically fancy, catered and paid by the seat. It would be very expensive to have unreserved seats for visitors, but in some communities where there are a lot of transients (think collegetowns) there may be a table for "extra" people.

In our community, there is usually a kiddush followed by the sit down meal. The kiddush is for the entire community usually-thats all the shuls-and everyone knows that the sit down meal after is for invited guests only.

Every now and then s/o will ask to join in the meal, or stay w/o an invitation. They are not thrown out.
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At our shul, anyone sponsoring a kiddush does dso for the entire congregatin, and whatever guests show up.

But when someone using the shul as a place to have a meal for guests, it is understood that this is for his invited guests only. Uninvited people don't crash a meal.

I'm not asking if you would kick someone out because of course we wouldn't. I'm asking if you are allowed to.