Takes forever to fall asleep!

Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5893

This isn't a brand new problem, but the last 2-3 nights in a row I noticed DD is taking about TWO HOURS to fall asleep! She was DEFINITELY tired before bedtime. Our days were regular. We followed the usual bedtime routine. She went in very nicely. In the past she sometimes falls right asleep and sometimes reads or talks to herself for a little while until she falls asleep. But for TWO HOURS?! Several times she looked like she was going to fall asleep but then popped back up again. She was definitely tired, had been exhibiting signs of tiredness even before but even though she sometimes gets a second wind, she was definitely tired again, her head was drooping, she was rubbing her eyes, but staying awake. Not unhappy or anything, just hanging out avoiding sleep as long as she could. Yesterday despite having done this the night before she seemed as lively as ever, maybe a bit hyper. This morning after doing that for the second or third night in a row she was definitely extra tired and kvetchy all morning. So it seems to me that she does need that sleep, she's only 19 months old and with staying awake in the crib 2 hours past bedtime she only got maybe 9 hours of night sleep tops, maybe a little less. That's crazy, no???

What can I do about this? She does have some amusements in her crib but I think she'd refuse to go in without them - a drink, a doll, a blanket, a book or two. And she wasn't even using those to distract herself the whole time, much of the time she was just lying there singing to herself, counting her fingers, saying things I didn't catch...! And I count on this after-bedtime to do things like make quiet phone calls, and I can't do that until she actually FALLS asleep because we have a small apartment and she can hear and gets distracted if she's still awake (once asleep she's out cold). Three nights in a row of no quiet time until 11pm is really burning me out, besides my worry about her getting enough sleep and having good routines.

1. maybe try putting her to sleep earlier? maybe she is overtired and that's why it is taking her a long time to fall asleep?
2. Do you go in to her on a regular basis when she is awake? does she call you constantly? If so, you might want to stop those trips into her room that will keep her awake.
3. Does it get dark late by you? Is it really dark in her room? My DS will play quietly in his bed for much longer if it is light in his room. I would try and see if you can make the room darker.
4. I understand the frustration, but sometimes these things are just a phase and there is nothing you can change. As long as she is quietish in bed and not asking for you attention, I would ride it out...

Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5893

1. Maybe earlier could work. I didn't want to do it too early and have this happen because she's not tired enough or wound down enough yet but hey, if that didn't work then maybe the opposite!
2. No, she entertained herself in there very nicely and only called for me a couple of times, I just called back that she should lie down and go to sleep and she accepted that answer! Very Happy

3. It gets dark late but before we put her to bed. She requests the light on (I give her the choice, she doesn't like the dark) but I dim it (there are a couple of lights in the room, I turn off the brighter one and keep the smaller lamp on)
4. Hope so! And I hope it doesn't do any long term damage to her sleep habits, it took long enough to get them working in the first place!

Silver Member Joined: Feb 07 2010 Posts: 891

It could be a few things first of all it's daylight longer now so it could be it's not dark enough for her, try getting darker shades hang up a towel or something by her window.

Other things to try are chamomile tea and a nice massage. It will help your child to relax and sleep good, you can also try a bath that works wonders! Soft music.

Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5893

It's plenty dark outside by the time she goes to sleep.

Baths always wake her up rather than calming her down. She always comes out of a bath perky and peppy.

On the plus side, she's now having (had. sounds like stirring now) a great long nap! Yay for quiet afternoon mommy time! But probably doesn't bode well for next night... sigh (yesterday's nap was normal, not so late. This one started normal but lasted late. It's still not so late though, she's had late naps in the past when bedtime was still on)

I would definitely try the earlier bed time.
Overall I've been lucky with DS, but at around 18 months old he started becoming less cranky at night, so we started putting him to bed later (by an hour or so (7pm)). BIG mistake. It would take him 30 mins - 1 hr to go to sleep (instead of 3 minutes) and he would call us all the way through. He also started waking up an hour earlier. AHH!! 5am wakeups are not ok.
Sooo. We rolled back his bed time to its original time (6pm +/- 15 mins) and he started going to sleep quicker (back to our few minutes) and he sleeps longer. 95% of days are later than 6am, and most are even closer to 630 (most days after that we need to wake DS up so that we can get out of the house on time, though there are lucky days where we sleep in til 7).
It worked for me, and it worked for everyone that I gave that advice to (multiple friends, my SIL...). Good sleep leads to more sleep!

ETA: also I would start making it darker in the room. Gradually dim the lights more and more (don't give her a choice here). Then leave the hall light on instead of the room light. Then turn them off altogether. In the very long run, sleeping in the dark is healthier than sleeping with any light on. And she'll probably go to sleep quicker.

Can it be that she is ready to give up her day nap? It may take a few days of skipping her nap for her schedule to regulate, if you think that it's the cause of it.

Also, have you tried putting in a fan? My kids fall asleep a lot easier with white noise in the background.

She also may be just going through a phase and may very well get past it quickly. How cute - counting fingers and singing! Smile

_________________
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Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5893

Nope, she is definitely NOT ready to lose the nap. She gets tired and cranky in middle of the day. I am trying to move the nap earlier in the hope that she will in turn burn out earlier at night too.

Last night I didn't have a chance to try putting her in earlier, we had an important and late dinner guest and if a guest is going to leave around bedtime anyway it pays to wait, because she HATES to leave action! So we waited for him to go and then she went to bed nicely about an hour late, maybe a little less. She fell asleep the same time as the last few nights, but this time after fooling around for only an hour instead of two hours because she started later. Go figure.

I could try darkening the room, I sure sleep better in the dark, but when I turn off the lamp near her crib she screams "light on!" There is still light coming in from the adjoining room so it's not pitch black. Maybe I'll try to encourage her more to get over that particular whim...

ShopMiami, it IS cute to hear her talking to herself in bed, I have to stop myself from laughing hard enough for her to hear, but TWO HOURS?! It's just... wow. I don't even have the attention span to amuse myself nearly that long if I can't fall asleep!

Platinum Member Joined: Jun 30 2009 Posts: 8230

Moving her nap to an earlier time sounds like a good idea.