INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Posted: Tue, Jun 26 2012, 3:43 pm Post subject: INSTALLING A HUSBAND

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support ,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 t o Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1 .

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE ,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3..0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Burping and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 , smiling 7.7., and Hot lingerie 6.4

Good Luck!
Tech Support
_________________
"Your house should be clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy"

Senior Member Joined: Feb 09 2012 Posts: 126

so cute! I love it

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 17 2009 Posts: 3981

Very cute!!!

Senior Member Joined: Dec 17 2010 Posts: 181

adorable!

Posted: Tue, Jun 26 2012, 4:24 pm Post subject: re: INSTALLING A HUSBAND

That was so funny! Thanks for posting it.

Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5893

hehe. I remember getting this years ago when it was funnier because computers worked more like that for real.

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

Every time I see something like that I wish I'd been clever enough to write it.

Silver Member Joined: May 09 2010 Posts: 608

Wow! Really, really like this one.

Platinum Member Joined: Apr 12 2010 Posts: 5799

Awesome

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Gold Member Joined: Jan 11 2011 Posts: 1164

Very cute! Thanks for sharing.

Diamond Member Joined: Feb 14 2007 Posts: 2888

Here is the frum (Lubavitch) version; I received it in an email a while ago:

Subject: Technical Advice

Message to Tech Support:

>> Last year I upgraded from Bochur Life 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that
>> Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during
>> system initialization, where it monitors all other systems.

>> Applications such as Farbrengen Night 3.0, Party Night 2.5, Bagles Snoozes 6.1 and Hangout 5.0
>> no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

>> In addition, applications such as Garbage Out 3.3 and House Work 2.1 have
>> gone from select-as needed to continuous schedule

>> Ignoring them causes Night-on-the-Couch 1.0 to take over all activity.

>> I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other
>> favourite applications.

>> I am thinking about going back to BochurLife 7.0, but the uninstall does
>> not work on this program.

>> Can you help me, please!!

Thanks, A Distressed User
------------------------------------------

>> Dear Distressed User:

>> This is a very common complaint which is mostly due to a primary
>> misconception. Many people upgrade from BochurLife 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with
>> the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES program. Wife 1.0 is an
>> OPERATING SYSTEM and was designed to run everything.

>> It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back
>> to BochurLife 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
>> program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to
>> BochurLife 7.0 because Life1.01 is not designed to do this. Some have
>> tried to install BochurLife 7.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems
>> than the original system.

>> Look in your manual under 'Warnings-Alimony/Child Support'.
>> I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

>> I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software
>> augmentation.

>> Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you
>> read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You
>> must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might
>> occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to
>> enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES
>> DEAR >> because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
>> operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as
>> long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

>> Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the
>> performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0. Do
>> not, under any circumstances, install Other Friends 3.3 as a primary
>> operating system. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is
>> likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

>> Thanks for using our Tech Support.
>> Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T