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| tikvuchka |
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 Posted: Thu, Jun 14 2012, 11:17 pm Post subject: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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| I dont need to send my kids to play where I do not feel it is safe, but to plaster their name in school? to make sure EVERY PERSON knows what this father is accused of? I dont think it will keep anyone safe. you want safety ask the school to teach the boys what to avoid...teach you son as I teach my children to know what is ok and not ok and be home and be around to talk. speak to your LOR about telling other parents but maybe just maybe, and this is a big step for some....try to be a mench.
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| MaBelleVie |
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| Posted: Thu, Jun 14 2012, 11:21 pm Post subject: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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| BEING A MENTCH MEANS PROTECTING INNOCENT CHILDREN. Not protecting relations offenders.
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| amother |
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Amother
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| Posted: Thu, Jun 14 2012, 11:24 pm Post subject: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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All you are saying true things. The only thing I would like to add is that there are chances that people talk and say things and then you see the power of Lashon Hara because then it's too late to take back words.
A dear and close relative of mine was accused of being such a criminal. They let out the word that he was a "registered" one. But our family knows very well that there has never ever been any police involvement. Family kids and cousins and friends were always around - nothing ever happened.
whatever, it was traced to some vindictive person who was angry at said relative and vowed to get him in a real terrible way that can not really be undone...
If you are going to act, make sure the person is really really and absolutely guilty. Otherwise you can be destroying an innocent person and family's lives.
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| tikvuchka |
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| Posted: Thu, Jun 14 2012, 11:33 pm Post subject: Re: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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| MaBelleVie wrote: | | BEING A MENTCH MEANS PROTECTING INNOCENT CHILDREN. Not protecting relations offenders. |
what level relations offender is he? what were his crimes? who accused him? what was the evidence in the case? would it hold up in a beis din? do you know these things??? then how can you be sure he did it?
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| chani8 |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 15 2012, 2:02 am Post subject: Re: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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| mummiedearest wrote: | | I see what you're saying, but I think that in some way or another, the parents MUST be made aware of this man's record. there is a reason there are s-x offender registries. in terms of the lashon hara aspect, iirc, we are required not to think badly of the father but protect our children nonetheless. that means that we should avoid even short playdates at his house. I would never hold it against the son, and I would be happy to invite said son into my own home. trusting the system to protect our children is NOT enough. the legal system and yeshiva system are not quite capable of doing that. the reason I recommend an anonymous letter is because politics will inevitably play a role in the outcome of any direct communication about this. an appropriately worded letter asking parents to be aware of the situation while not shunning the child should be fine. I'm not looking to start a smear campaign here. I'm not looking to have people picket outside his home, and I'm not looking to have people send threatening mail to the man. I still believe the parents must be told. |
 This is well put. You have your head on straight. Proceed. Contact every parent in the class. Just don't miss anyone...in a similar situation like this, parents chose not to tell me because at that time my kid didn't go around the perp, but in the end, my kid was victimized.
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| chani8 |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 15 2012, 2:38 am Post subject: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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As a daughter of a registered zex offender, I can tell you that it's not your problem that the perp's life is 'ruined' by everyone 'knowing' that he is a zex offender. It is a fact of life for him now, and a small price to pay for the damage that he has done.
Also, it is simply common sense that everyone in the area should know that a zex offender lives there, not just the classmates of the child. This is LH toeles, not a shmear campaign. And the halacha is, you are not allowed to believe it to the point of hating or hurting the accused, but you must take preventative cautions.
Those of you adamant that this is against LH have not learned the halacha. You are letting your rachmanis confuse you. You can have rachmanis, but protect your kids, and be open about the truth.
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| YESHASettler |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 15 2012, 3:59 am Post subject: Re: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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| tikvuchka wrote: | | what level relations offender is he? what were his crimes? who accused him? what was the evidence in the case? would it hold up in a beis din? do you know these things??? then how can you be sure he did it? |
He was found guilty by a jury of his peers, or if he didn't go to trial, he admitted to it and then went to prison.
That's enough for me.
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| myfriends715 |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 15 2012, 7:33 am Post subject: Re: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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| YESHASettler wrote: | | tikvuchka wrote: | | what level relations offender is he? what were his crimes? who accused him? what was the evidence in the case? would it hold up in a beis din? do you know these things??? then how can you be sure he did it? |
He was found guilty by a jury of his peers, or if he didn't go to trial, he admitted to it and then went to prison.
That's enough for me. |
He was found guilty of assulting 2 13 yr old boys while helpding them prepare for their bar mitzvahs. There was enough evidence to prosecute. I thibk there were other boys as well but evidence in those cases was not as strong he was charged w 10 counts of child molestation and served 13 months of a longer sentence (thank you overcrowding in jail)
Seems like enough proof for me to keep my kid away from this sicko.
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| mummiedearest |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 15 2012, 9:04 am Post subject: Re: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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| tikvuchka wrote: | | I dont need to send my kids to play where I do not feel it is safe, but to plaster their name in school? to make sure EVERY PERSON knows what this father is accused of? I dont think it will keep anyone safe. you want safety ask the school to teach the boys what to avoid...teach you son as I teach my children to know what is ok and not ok and be home and be around to talk. speak to your LOR about telling other parents but maybe just maybe, and this is a big step for some....try to be a mench. |
convicted of. yup. ppl need to no. no one is hanging up posters to haunt the kid. 
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| amother |
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Amother
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 15 2012, 10:06 am Post subject: Re: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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| myfriends715 wrote: | | YESHASettler wrote: | | tikvuchka wrote: | | what level relations offender is he? what were his crimes? who accused him? what was the evidence in the case? would it hold up in a beis din? do you know these things??? then how can you be sure he did it? |
He was found guilty by a jury of his peers, or if he didn't go to trial, he admitted to it and then went to prison.
That's enough for me. |
He was found guilty of assulting 2 13 yr old boys while helpding them prepare for their bar mitzvahs. There was enough evidence to prosecute. I thibk there were other boys as well but evidence in those cases was not as strong he was charged w 10 counts of child molestation and served 13 months of a longer sentence (thank you overcrowding in jail)
Seems like enough proof for me to keep my kid away from this sicko. |
And the judge was quite aghast at the support this person got from the community. A whole courtroom filled up to stand behind him! When the judge delivered his sentence he made a statement condemning the community for that.
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| marina |
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| Posted: Fri, Jun 15 2012, 1:23 pm Post subject: Re: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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| tikvuchka wrote: | | MaBelleVie wrote: | | BEING A MENTCH MEANS PROTECTING INNOCENT CHILDREN. Not protecting relations offenders. |
what level relations offender is he? what were his crimes? who accused him? what was the evidence in the case? would it hold up in a beis din? do you know these things??? then how can you be sure he did it? |
Tikvah, are you of the mindset that an offender needs to have two witnesses who warn him at the time of the act in order to consider the person guilty?
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| tikvuchka |
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| Posted: Tue, Jun 19 2012, 9:22 pm Post subject: Re: re: Just found out about child molster. Need advice asap |
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| marina wrote: | | tikvuchka wrote: | | MaBelleVie wrote: | | BEING A MENTCH MEANS PROTECTING INNOCENT CHILDREN. Not protecting relations offenders. |
what level relations offender is he? what were his crimes? who accused him? what was the evidence in the case? would it hold up in a beis din? do you know these things??? then how can you be sure he did it? |
Tikvah, are you of the mindset that an offender needs to have two witnesses who warn him at the time of the act in order to consider the person guilty? |
no im not
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