A child was molested- what would you do?

My nephew was molested and told my sister and brother in law about it- it was a very respected Rosh Yeshiva in the community who also happens to work with an organization for troubled teens. The molestation took place within the yeshiva walls and this rabbi threatened my nephew that he would destroy him, his reputation, etc if he told anyone.
As a result, my nephew refuses to come forward and is so traumatized that no one really wants to push him.

My question is this: This man is unquestionably doing this to the young boys. I feel personally responsible to do something. Especially since all these boys at risk are now working with him and they are particularly easy targets.

I called the relations crimes number in ny and they can't prosecute without an official complainant and because my nephew just turned 18, my sister can't do it for him.

What to do?

I would have him tell me what happened, write it down and sign it and then bring it in to my local police precinct. Best of luck.
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OMG!!

Sorry no advice, just that I'm horrified!! Shocked

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Silver Member Joined: Jan 09 2011 Posts: 891

what would I do? I would go and report it immediately to the police and I would stress that this man works with vulnerable boys in his profession. there is no reason for you, a rational adult, to know that this is going on and not report it so that it can be investigated. if you go in person to the precinct, they would probably listen to what you have to say. im sure they arent strangers to teens being too initmidated to come forward...

Silver Member Joined: Aug 23 2010 Posts: 564

Perhaps you should contact Dov Hikind? Or the at-risk organization he works with. I am sorry to hear about this awful situation. I really hope this animal is stopped! And may your nephew and family find healing.

Executive Member Joined: Nov 08 2009 Posts: 368

can you call ACS? I am assuming that since this man deals with children they will want to open a case.

there is only 1 thing to do now get a razor sharp knife cut off all his fingers and then the other one down there. thats the only way to stop these pple

This is a tough one. Rosh yeshiva? The community will be in an uproar. There will be many supporters who will not believe a word. It has to be investigated! Go to police. Child protective services. What do your nephew's parents say?

My nephew was also molested. He will not identify his abuser on record. The abuser has abused others we know. It is a tragedy that because of fear and intimidation these monsters are protected by the law that works more for them then it does the victims.

Active Poster Joined: Oct 16 2010 Posts: 63

it's important to ask your rav about going to the police. the rav needs to evaluate: how many innocent neshamos (all his family) will be harmed if you tell on him, and how many innocent people will continue to be harmed if not taken to the police. either way the rav has the resposibility to deal with this man personally to try to get him to change and stop doing what he's doing

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 20 2009 Posts: 7584

Active Poster Joined: Jan 15 2012 Posts: 48

call the police, immediatly!

if you dont this "Rosh Yeshiva" will do it again and again!

anyone who threatens your nephew should also be reported for interfering with a crime.

I believe times are changing and people are beginning to understand what is really going on.
people are realizing the cover-ups and problems with going to your "rav" to ask what to do.

your nephew wont be destryoed, it will be the Rosh Yeshiva. thats why he is being so threatening.

it is hard but you must do the right thing. if not for yourselves, then for future victims.

Active Poster Joined: Jan 15 2012 Posts: 48

your sister needs to encourage her son to press charges.

a child molester is not a rabbi! let alone a rosh yeshiva. there is no issue of consideration towards his position. he is a child molester not a rav.

she needs to explain to her son the severity of the crime. that its not her sons fault. and if he wants to do the right thing he will help prevent this crime from ever happening again by calling the police.

anything short of that will only make more victims. once he presses charges all his previous victims will come out as well. but they are all too scared also.

so your nephew might as well be the brave one!

I'm so sorry op kudos to your nephew for telling his parents and I how he gets the help he needs asap.
On a different note these situations are so tricky to investigate its your word against my word. And if somebody has something against you all they have to do is say you molested me and you're finished for life. It's sad that there are many more true accusations than untrue but I do know of a case that was totally baseless accusations but damage was done guy lost job and name dirtied on the street and it wasn't even true! Moshiach gotta come already this is sick!

Active Poster Joined: Jan 15 2012 Posts: 48

The cops might help him with this, but if he's scared to go forward with very little evidence he should hide a good recorder on his body and go talk to this Rabbi and demand an apology. If he gets any sort of admission on tape that would be good for evidence. It's legal in NY to record a conversation as long as one party consents to it, and your nephew would be the consenting party-- he doesn't have to let the Rabbi know.
Hatzlacha!

Contact Jewishcommunitywatch.com - they should be able to hook him up to a yeshiva bochur who went through similar and can encourage him to press charges so this person doesn't go on molesting others.

I have a close relative who spoke to rabonim about his molester... turns out they knew about him for years... but he just kept on doing it. He didn't know he could/should press charges until after the statute of limitations ran out. Baruch Hashem another person who was molested had the courage to do so, saving many children in the future.