Planning a Bat Mitzvah Celebration

Beginner Joined: Jan 08 2009 Posts: 5 Location: USA

My daughter will become a Bat Mitzvah in about 6 months. Since there is such a wide range of ways to celebrate a Bat Mitzvah, from having someone teach the girl and her classmates to braid challah, to a party inviting our friends as well as her classmates, and having live music, I'm having a hard time deciding what to do. Does anyone have any good ideas for celebrating a bat mitzvah in a meaningful way.

Gold Member Joined: Apr 19 2012 Posts: 1595

People do chessed projects either collecting $$ for a certain cause b/f the party or doing some kind of chesed oriented theme with the girl's friends at the party. I made 2 bat mitzvah parties & for both we basically had a meal (1 was a buffet & the other a sit down meal b/c I felt the sit-down meal was more organized), had entertainment for the girls (someone playing a keyboard playing jewish music for dancing that also played kid-friendly games with her friends), & my daughters each prepared a d'var torah that they read in front of all of the guests. We also had several other divrei torah given by my husband, rabbi of the shul or rabbi from school & from my dad (also a rabbi). All the speeches were interspersed throughout the 3 hr event.

That was basically the extent of what we did & I felt it was meaningful to my daughters & made them feel special to reach this special milestone of becoming a jewish woman. It was also a fun party for us & a special way to celebrate with family, friends & neighbors.

Mazal tov to you on your daughter's upcoming simcha!

Silver Member Joined: Dec 02 2009 Posts: 978

What type of chessed projects have you seen in your community? I'd love to hear some creative ideas.

Gold Member Joined: Apr 19 2012 Posts: 1595

One girl is collecting hair accessories for kids in Israel & is trying to collect as many as possible to donate to an organization there..Another girl asked everyone to donate bears to give to sick children in local hospitals...Before pesach, one girl asked everyone to bring in one kosher l'pesach packaged item & they put them together in little baskets to donate to ppl. in need through an organization & the girls also included cards in the packages..One girl is trying to raise money to help pay for an underpriviledged girl in Israel to have a bat mitzvah & she has done pre-pesach babysitting camps to raise money, yard sales, etc..Hope these ideas are helpful..

Executive Member Joined: Jun 26 2010 Posts: 364

At my bas mitzvah, each guest decorated a t-shirt, which then went as part of a gift basket to a kid in a hospital. My sisters (more recently) did similar projects through the same organization, whose name I can't recall, though I can find out if you're interested.

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 07 2006 Posts: 2556

OP, what does your daughter think about becoming a bat mitzvah? Has she had a chance to read about (or meet) Jewish women role models? Is she looking forward to any particular mitzvot? Does she feel a strong connection to a particular part of davening or does she have a favorite parsha? These are some places to start when thinking about how to make a celebration personally meaningful. I strongly encourage you to have her write her own speeches (if she gives any) - it is wonderful to hear a young person's own ideas and words, even if or perhaps especially if they are not 100% polished.

To meet our social obligations we sponsored kiddush at our shul and had a family gathering. Dd also had a low-key party with her classmates (in our community it is expected/required that all girls from the class be invited; in other communities it isn't considered appropriate to celebrate with friends at all - check with your rav/school principal as needed to make sure you do the right thing).