Using marital beds

Posted: Mon, Jun 11 2012, 1:59 pm Post subject: Using marital beds

We are having friends stay in our apartment whilst we are away. Can they use our beds? (Marital beds)

Silver Member Joined: May 01 2012 Posts: 627

Why not? Just change the sheets...

Posted: Mon, Jun 11 2012, 2:08 pm Post subject: re: Using marital beds

what does "marital beds" mean?

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

If the OP's first language is Spanish, she means a double bed. Otherwise, I suppose she means whichever beds she and her dh use to engage in marital relations, which are presumably the ones in their own bedroom as opposed to any other bedroom.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 03 2011 Posts: 1503

Maybe she's nervous to give them a double bed in case she's a niddah?
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Posted: Mon, Jun 11 2012, 3:30 pm Post subject: re: Using marital beds

OP here I am from England and when talking about the beds in the master bedroom I grew up using the term Marital beds. We have 2 single beds in the master bedroom. I am new to married life so not sure what the situation was with letting guests stay in your bed.

Gold Member Joined: Jul 14 2009 Posts: 2094

where I live ppl lend their appts (& their rooms) out for Shabbos all the time.

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 07 2006 Posts: 2556

In the US it is totally normal.

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

there's nothing wrong with letting guests sleep in your bed; in fact it's the hospitable thing to do if your beds are the best ones in the house. I assume you're providing freshly laundered linens.

Many amothers here are squeamish about letting anyone else into their bedroom, let alone sleep in their bed, but you don't have to be. If your bedroom is decorated bordello style, if you have naughty pictures of yourselves hanging on the walls, if stacks of "marital aids" and "how-to" manuals clutter the nightstand, obviously you would remove those things and any other intensely personal items and store them in an inaccessible place, preferably under lock and key.

Do what you need to do to make your room look less like a love nest and more like a guest house, and sally forth to keep the mitzvah of hachnossas orchim with a clear conscience.

Posted: Mon, Jun 11 2012, 7:53 pm Post subject: re: Using marital beds

I would have no problem with having a couple stay in my bedroom. My DH would prefer not, he is grossed out by it. It is your personal space and decide what you are comfortable with.
Either way you are entitled!

Beginner Joined: Mar 21 2012 Posts: 21

no halachic problem but sooooooo awkward!!

Silver Member Joined: Mar 27 2011 Age: 27 Posts: 789

I would never...

Gold Member Joined: Apr 27 2010 Posts: 1975

There's no rule. It's whatever you and your husband feel comfortable with. Never heard it referred to as "marital beds" though!
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Platinum Member Joined: Apr 12 2010 Posts: 5793

There is no halachic problem its just uncomfortable (for me anyway).

If you do just change the sheets and thats all.
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Posted: Mon, Jun 11 2012, 9:15 pm Post subject: re: Using marital beds

I wouldn't let anyone sleep in my beds. Maybe one set of our parents if it would serve a specific purpose. I would really prefer not though. I don't even like letting people in my bedroom.

Gold Member Joined: May 09 2010 Posts: 2122

Personally, I wouldn't want anyone else sleeping in my room. It's not about being grossed out over someone else sleeping in my bed, it's about it being my private space.

But if you aren't bothered by it, then there's no problem.
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Active Poster Joined: May 14 2012 Posts: 28

I cant see myself doing it, but its amazing and nice for those that do!