Yelling At Kids? You're A Bully Mom!

I can't click the video.
But if yelling is abusive then all parents are abusive as I don't believe someone would never ever yell. It's almost unnatural. Or the kids are too scared to ever do anything, I don't know. Not natural.
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"You will have many many children and make successful shidduchim beh", rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
"It's all cultural, disagree respectfully", me

Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4549 Location: Ohio

Ruchel, the video is not normal yelling. It is standing over the child with an arm ready to hit them and screaming at them. It is screaming that you are going to beat a kid up.

This is not, "GET YOUR SHOES ON RIGHT NOW OR WE ARE NOT GOING TO THE PARK!"

I would hope people would tell the difference before they call the cops. I have called the cops on my neighbors. Sometimes it has to be done.

But yelling happens. It's usually counter-productive, but it happens. And it isn't abuse, IMHO.
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mommy to 2 girls, 1 boy

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Diamond Member Joined: Sep 16 2007 Posts: 4185

yelling is abusive behavior, but unless this is your pattern of most interactions with dc, esp.if you are not manipulative and controlling, then you are not (necessarily) abusive.

sure, we're human, not angels and we all slip up at times. an abusive relationship is one that is characterized mostly by abusive behavior that isn't apologized for in any way.
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The results of our actions are not up to us or even necessarily a direct consequence of them. The only thing that's really in our power is our perspective, that everything that happens is for the (our) good.

My parents did this to me and much much much worse. spanking--- slapping on the face--- shaking the shoulders--- locking me in my room for hours.

I have learned from them a lot about parenting. Sadly, I haven't seen them since 1996. They didn't come to my wedding or meet their grandchildren.

Raising your voice once in a while (without hitting/grabbing/spanking) to a loud place for a few seconds is one thing. You might be able to maintain a family relationship and make amends for that. Yes, I've done that with my kids and apologized profusely.

Threatening a beating is quite another.

Do people really consider in some cultures that if you yell but you are otherwise a loving parent, you are at risk to not have a family relationship? I mamash, cannot understand. Most kids aren't even startled anymore Laughing