Dangerous behavior

Senior Member Joined: Dec 17 2011 Posts: 211

My daughter is 21 months old, and very advanced in terms of speech and comprehension. She's a great kid, but in the last week she's started a new behavior that really scares me, and I'm not sure what the best way to correct it is.

She likes to stand up on a surface (the bed, the couch), put her arms out, and let herself fall flat onto her face. She thinks this is basically the greatest game ever. It gives me a heart attack every time. She doesn't have a very good sense of space, and often aims herself OFF the bed, or into the side of the couch (where she could really injure her head/neck if she hit wrong.) Plus, I'm 34 weeks pregnant and huge, so I'm not as quick as I used to be--I am really not sure that I could catch her on time if need be (though I would dive as hard and fast as I could for sure.)

And before you tell me not to allow her on those surfaces, (1) she can now climb onto the couch by herself, and (2) I nurse her on the bed, and she likes to play this game after she's done and scrambles away from me.

I don't want to yell at her--she isn't being bad, per se, so I don't want her to feel bad or guilty--but I really want to make her understand that this is dangerous behavior and she shouldn't do it. I've told her repeatedly that this isn't allowed, but even though she's very bright, she doesn't seem to realize what I'm referring to.

Any idea for helping me keep my daughter from getting hurt?

Posted: Tue, May 29 2012, 5:11 pm Post subject: re: Dangerous behavior

It's hard to teach kids at this age. I think the key is behavior modification.

When they do the "wrong" or "dangerous" (and dangerous can be WORSE than wrong) behavior, they get an undesirable result, and when they refrain they get a desirable result.I use different forms of this with my kids, mostly when they're toddlers.

So for example, when she throws herself down, you calmly remove her from the surface she's on, say "no" without any drama (kids love drama, even yelling, and it can seem like a desirable reaction to provoke), and maybe frown at her. You restrain her for a certain amount of time. With older kids, I put them in time out, in another room. If she repeats the behavior, you repeat the same reaction without variation, until she gets tired of it. Or, you can remove her and then distract her with a different activity. And when she sits calmly on the suface without throwing herself, you act all smiley and pay her extra special attention.

Hatzlacha!
_________________
"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten."
- G.K. Chesterton

Platinum Member Joined: Feb 20 2009 Posts: 7584

My ds did the exact same thing, and I was also hugely pregnant at the time! I did what enneamom said, pretty much. And I davened a lot that Hashem should watch over him while I was in the bathroom or whatever.

Diamond Member Joined: Dec 18 2005 Posts: 2912

all my kids went through that stage at roughly the same age.
I couldnt stop them, so I taught them to say '1,2,3..go!' and to wait until mommy was ready to catch. once they realized I would play along, they were willing to play the game safely.
there was no way I was going to be able to stop them, so I figured best I could do would be to join them.
good news is that the stage passed pretty quickly. they get their fill and move on to other things.

Executive Member Joined: May 17 2011 Posts: 261

My twins are 20 months old and very active and keeping me on my toes-I sure hope thats not the next stage of theirs!!

Posted: Wed, May 30 2012, 6:25 am Post subject: re: Dangerous behavior

My son did the same thing, and I guess it sure helped my relationship with Hashem! I davened a lot. I also would take him off and say - that's dangerous! Only with Ima!! Also, when he did fall off, I used that to make the connection that he could get a boo-boo. It all worked somewhat. Now he B"H grew up amd is more careful - does it mostly on our beds and rarely falls.

Posted: Wed, May 30 2012, 6:43 am Post subject: re: Dangerous behavior

I think the key here is Safety First.

I am totally not into disciplining a child that young. I might say no, and physically direct them to a better thing to do.

But my shitta, is not to let them get into trouble in the first place.

A climber is my biggest challenge. Constant vigilance is required.

Perhaps you can be creative and block off the couches, and put her right down off the bed after nursing. Put pillows around couches and beds for those time you allow her to do this behavior. Or let her do it "only on the big bed" and stay very close!

It sounds like a great activity for sensory input btw. I wouldn't restrict it completely, just put a boundary around it. Also, try giving her other outlets for that sensory need. Like a jumperoo.

Gold Member Joined: Sep 12 2011 Posts: 1921

Posted: Wed, May 30 2012, 11:11 am Post subject: Re: re: Dangerous behavior