The Baby Bump - to flaunt or not to?

Silver Member Joined: Oct 08 2007 Posts: 505

I don't think that gap t shirt is tight, it's fitting for sure but if you wear a decent skirt with it, I would think it's an ok look. Kind of what I used to wear when preggers. Now what I see more of an issue with are those who go in skin tight tops and bottoms (skirts) whether pregnant or not.

Posted: Fri, May 25 2012, 2:54 pm Post subject:

Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5893

I haven't read through all the pages that stacked up here since I last checked in, only a little here and there. And I just want to say I'm a little appalled at the way people think it's somehow offensive or gross or something if they can see your navel stick out or your baby move. I feel a little judged by those statements. I wore things that draped well but definitely not tight, yet you could often see my navel or baby movements, especially near the end. It was just impossible to avoid. I think especially if mom is skinny and the placenta is not in front so there's nothing to cushion baby's movements, how the heck are you supposed to block them, short of wearing the box your washing machine came in? As for the navel, I tried at first to tug my skirt panel over it for extra layers but it looked ugly and bulky, and frankly there's a limit to how many layers you can do when you're carrying a heavy baby through the summer. Maybe people need to stop being so critical and looking so closely at what other people wear. Nothing I wore would turn heads except for the very fact that I was enormous, which is a bit grabbing on its own. But I had no extra padding and my baby was extremely active, so yes if you were sitting across from me you'd probably see all kinds of interesting activity...

I can really see a generational difference in some cases.

Religious posters who think that it is ok for any woman whatsoever to wear skintight clothing and don't think that it demeans her as a person, making her into a body.

Posters who use all sorts of slang euphamisms for pregnancy (preggers?!) when we are supposed to be discussing something that's almost sacred - creation of new life.

Posters who think it is fine that people see protruding parts of their body (navel) instead of being aware of it and trying to drape it as loosely and gently as possible for reasons of modesty.

In my generation, the middle aged women, I really can't remember coming across such attitudes. As I see it here so much among the younger posters I also wonder not only about age but background. What is the religious background of the posters who think that body hugging clothing is ok during pregnancy, who use slang terms for pregnancy (not gentle euphamisms such as "expecting") etc. Maybe that's also part of it.
_________________
"Olam Chessed Yiboneh", Tehilim 89.

25 y old here
I try to be extra careful when pregnant. I just have to be more aware because I'm bigger all over and growing so things tend to become tighter.
It grosses me out when I see women with dead tight tops where I can see her bellybutton and the baby's movements.

Silver Member Joined: Aug 22 2007 Posts: 516

Senior Member Joined: Jan 21 2009 Posts: 174

Here is the article where I quoted many of you (it's in this weeks Jewish Press). Thanks again for all your input!

Your Opinions on �Flaunting a Baby Bump�
In my previous article, I contemplated the extreme transition maternity fashions have undergone in the past decades. They went from ultra-bulky to super-tight in a relatively short time span. As seen from the feedback I received from Jewish Press readers and women from imamother.com (an online community of frum women) many of you would have vastly differing attitudes towards modern maternity styles. I collected the ages of the respondents; it seems that younger women are slightly more inclined towards more fitted maternity clothes while their older counterparts lean towards a concealing wardrobe. However, there was so much variation among ages that generational differences are only a small factor in determining womens� opinion on the matter. Here are some snippets of the conversation, with the age of the respondent in brackets following each quote.
A large number of women preferred more fitted maternity styles. One popular reason for this preference is that close-fitting clothes are much more slimming than smock dresses and wide tops.
�I have no problem with wearing maternity clothes that show off my bump� I am happy to share my simcha with everyone. I find that loose maternity clothes look like sacks and make me look twice the size I am. I would much rather look distinctly pregnant than possibly fat.� {22}
��I do enjoy "flaunting" a bit of a belly bump. I personally like the look of a small pencil skirt peeking out from beneath a wider top. Perhaps it's because I'm lucky enough to usually gain most of my weight in my belly, but I actually find that having a rounded belly makes me look thinner overall. {28}
�I am all for a woman showing her tummy while pregnant�I remember wearing those stupid blown-up tops. I looked ridiculous! My point, when you got it swing it, baby!� {76}

�I am very slim and carry my pregnancies like huge basketballs in front with a ginormous belly button sticking out by my 4th month� My philosophy is that this is how Hashem made me, anyone who has a problem with my hugely pregnant body and giant belly button monstrosity can take it up with Him.� {31}
But just as many women professed their distaste for tight maternity clothes. Many felt showing off a baby bump is immodest, not only for technical tznius reasons but also because pregnancy is a blessing and should not be flaunted.

�I believe that tight maternity wear is not tznius. If I am careful not to wear tight clothing when not pregnant, why would I wear it when pregnant? Tznius applies at all times.� {30�s}
�Women should wear looser style maternity. You are not hiding the fact that you are pregnant, but you are keeping the exact contours of your body private. I read somewhere that especially while pregnant and housing a precious, tahor neshama women should be extra careful with tznius because of the kadosh job their body is doing.� {23}

�I think women are crazy to wear anything that is designed to show the shape of their belly or flaunt it in any way. Would you invite the ayin hora to your house for tea?� {36}
�When I see real women trying to pull off the "I'm proud of my bump" look, I want to pull my car over and offer them a ride to the trailer park. On second thought, most trailer parks these days are filled with much classier people. A pregnant woman should not have to mimic her non-pregnant state in order to look good or feel good about herself. So what if you "feel" fat? If you can't put your own vanity on the back burner for a few months, you've got a lot more to worry about in the future than maternity clothes!� {51}
This topic is a contentious one, as are all debates about tznius. One particular comment that stood out was one of moderation; �Pregnancy is such a personal experience - amazing for some, awkward and uncomfortable for others - everyone should wear what works for them!� {34} In other words, being sensitive and withholding judgment of others seems to be the best route.

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

FLAUNTING anything, be it your baby bump, your six-carat diamond, fluency in twelve languages or perfect pitch, is inappropriate. JMHO, but what do you think "hatznea lechet" is all about?

Senior Member Joined: Dec 26 2007 Posts: 196

Many of today's clothing styles sold in frum stores even, including maternity, are not tzniusdig according to the Halachos I learned. Tzniusdig is not calling attention to oneself, whether in behavior or dress. Wearing skin top, clinging clothing was something I always was under the impression of being problematic.

Age 33

Honestly if people weren't so rude all the time maybe it would be different. As it is, I'm tired of being approached multiple times a day to be told how big I am. At least with a slightly more fitted top I look like a pregnant person and not a house.