Would you have gone to dinner with him?

Silver Member Joined: Feb 14 2010 Posts: 621

I would love to say "yes", but in reality wouldn't have guts for it. Very Happy

Diamond Member Joined: Jun 24 2008 Posts: 3345

It would depend on what my creep detector would say. I would only go somewhere with lots of people, though.

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 04 2008 Posts: 8180

I wanted to clarify that only if he seemed normal/not creepy, and only to a public place via public transportation.

Goes without saying.
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I would smile broadly, say something like 'Wow, that's really nice of you' or something like that, and get his name and number. (I wouldn't give him mine.) Then I'd ask everyone I knew if they knew him. (Jewish geography.) Look him up online. Then I'd get to know him through text, phone call, email, facebook, etc. Maybe progress to a walk in the park. Then, if we both still liked each other and wanted to seriously date, I'd accept the dinner invite.

Notwithstanding the whole safety issue (which is a very real concern) why would you want to sit at a restaurant with someone for two hours when you don't even know if you'll enjoy it?

Can you tell I'm not impulsive? Very Happy

I like hypothetical questions. Smile

But is that what this is?
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Silver Member Joined: May 09 2010 Posts: 609

You dated strangers off the street?

To a local pizza shop or a nearby restaurant, why not? I mean in public. Wouldn't get in his car or travel with him anywhere, but on well lit streets, yeah.

Joining the wondering crowd.
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Senior Member Joined: Apr 21 2009 Posts: 184

No (although if I thought there was potential I may have pursued it separately)
I wouldnt have gone out exclusively through the shidduch system but I would have needed a frame of reference for who this person is. Not just a person off the street. Even if they were obviously Jewish. I find it a bit strange that when it comes to molestation, you're considered naive and idiotic if you think frum = tzadik, but in this scenario if they appear frum they are obviously a good alternative dinner date.

Really? You think going out with someone whom you have first thoroughly vetted and checked out by interviewing his friends and family is a tiny step away from dating someone whose name you don't even know?

Silver Member Joined: Feb 14 2010 Posts: 562

I did something similar more than once. im bt, can u tell?

Silver Member Joined: Feb 14 2010 Posts: 562

oh and yes my mommy did teach me not to speak to strangers and no I would not be happy if my dd /ds would behave in a similar way. (I admit that I never regreted it - still I believe its wrong)

Diamond Member Joined: Aug 07 2006 Posts: 2556

This sounds like some kind of weird joke, but I might as well play along.

Back in the dark ages when I was 18 and no one had cellphones, I wouldn't have waited on a streetcorner more than 15 minutes. (In real life, there were rare times when I waited in a normal indoor location for longer - but it's worth noting that even without cellphones people knew how to get in touch with each other, for example by leaving messages at your destination assuming it isn't a streetcorner).

I would not have gone to dinner with a stranger. I doubt I would have engaged in conversation with him. He might be a really nice guy, but there are just too many variables to know for sure. And I wasn't accustomed to going on "dates" anyway. My crowd socialized primarily in groups. The whole scenario is just too weird.

For context, at 18 I was a public school graduate attending a large university. Not sheltered. I did socialize with men (people I met in regulated environments such as clubs, classes or through mutual friends) but I was never "picked up" and wouldn't want to be.

Posted: Fri, May 25 2012, 8:21 am Post subject:

The truth is, I replied before as if I were the person I am now at age 18. The person I really was at 18 was a lot less confident and a lot more hesitant. I would have wanted to get his number, but I would have stammered/mumbled 'no thanks' under my breath while hastily backing away.

For one thing, I was way too shy to engage with strangers (something I've overcome today b'h.) For another, the kind of boys my parents approved for me through the shidduch system would have been too frum to talk to a girl on the street. So my parents would never have agreed to pursue it...and I was a good girl, I wouldn't have secretly dated.

What year were we all 18? Where did we all live? I find it hard to believe that a New York girl would just go with said guy. I don't think I'd have even explained the situation. I would have just said that I was fine, and walked away. And my "mommy" would have said I was too polite for even answering him.

honestly I probably would have been attracted to him and I would have felt flattered that he asked me.
he's good looking and he seems nice. I would have said, yes:)

did you?