Facebook wrecks marriages -Surprise!

Silver Member Joined: May 01 2012 Posts: 640

Along the same lines as the "have you been hurt by the internet?"
It's not just supposedly sheltered Jews having issues...not at all...

Vos Iz Nais

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13336

I think it's important to remember that there are more subtle things going on, even if we don't do the Facebook or are pretty sure that's not where our nekudas habechira is. (Didn't open link, have to run to work.)
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The righteous praise and honor people for every good quality that is found in them while the wicked seek out faults in others to pull them down, even if they repented those deeds. (Rabbeinu Yonah, from Partners in Kindness)

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 01 2009 Posts: 8303

Guns kill people
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Senior Member Joined: Apr 21 2009 Posts: 183

No, PEOPLE wreck marriages.
Does the internet make it easier for people to do xyz? Sure. So be self aware, use it responsibly etc.
Why can't anybody take responsibility for their own actions anymore?

Gold Member Joined: Jan 07 2009 Posts: 1794

Affairs happen because people connect. The more ways that one has to connect the greater chance that one can have an affair. FB makes it easy to connect to tons of people one wasn't aware of - which does increase the chance of an affair.

But FB doesn't do that, people do. Affairs are because people have ignored the morality of their marital vows. FB may be one means. Women working has also increased marital affairs. So have plumbers.

Come on, honestly, people are going to behave badly. FB doesn't cause the problem, it is a means.
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But then again, I'm a dragon.
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� Fyodor Dostoevsky (via cosmic-rebirth)

Silver Member Joined: May 01 2012 Posts: 640

OK, so let's say that we rename the article "Many people manage to wreck their marriages through using Facebook".
It still makes me wary of using FB as a married woman. I can't believe people post pics of their kids on there. Or themselves. Just bc now even some Jewish causes are using it doesn't mean it is a smart idea.

Gold Member Joined: Mar 16 2009 Posts: 2328

It also helps people date and marry.

It's another sphere where we conduct life. Big whoop.

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 19 2011 Posts: 2772

Walking down the street wrecks marriages! Working wrecks marriages!

Newsflash: Affairs happened long before facebook and the internet.

Is there even enough valium manufactured every year to get the frum community through crisis after crisis?
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Diamond Member Joined: Oct 19 2011 Posts: 2772

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13336

Oy, you guys are corrupting me. Second time this week I opened a VIN link. I didn't read it, sorry, but it's been known for a long time that even the world at large is disenchanted with FB. I heard a soundbite, not from a Jew, about workplace issues that developed through FB, like losing secretaries whose marriages broke up, etc. That's an extreme example but this stuff has been out.
I won't say it's evil, I won't say that people who have it are running a great, grave risk, etc. ad nauseum. But I for one am holding off as long as I can. It's invasive, yet another time sucker, and if my kids want me to get pictures they can email them to me as well as post them for their friends and acquaintances and beyond.

Platinum Member Joined: Aug 29 2007 Posts: 12058

Posting pictures of your kids will not wreck your marriage.

Anyone who knows anything about Facebook, OTOH, should know that Facebook accounts are available to law enforcement authorities, should they decide to use them. Thus it would behoove everyone to use their brains and not post things they would not want showing up before a judge (and anyone they care about). Privacy settings are nice and all, but if your posts are even the slightest bit newsworthy, you might want to rethink posting them. Otherwise, you could wreck your marriage, your job, and/or your freedom (like the guy who posted a picture of himself stealing gas out of a police cruiser).

Diamond Member Joined: Jan 14 2011 Posts: 2818

Do you also burn treif restaurants? No really... FB doesn't do anything.
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"You will have many many children and make successful shidduchim beh", rebbetzin Esther Jungreis
"It's all cultural, disagree respectfully", me

It's true that people who want to be unfaithful can do so even without facebook or internet, and that most people in healthy relationships will not be led astray by using these tools in a proper manner.
OTOH, Chazal say that there is no guarantee against sin, I.e. nobody is immune to temptation.
Consider the Halachos of Yichud, Tznius and Negiah. What's the point of these Halachos? If somebody wants to sin, rules in SA won't stop him, and most people will not come to sin just by being alone in a room.
But our Sages knew that even someone who has no intention of sinning needs to make a Geder, to set boundaries and not to trust his own moral conscience, which, when faced with temptation, can slowly be chipped away at.
I think the same applies here. Obviously banning or filtering Internet will do nothing for those who specifically are looking to have an affair. But those who DON'T want to be led astray should not rely solely on this desire to keep them safe forever. They need to take extra precautions.
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hadasa. One 'h', one 's'.

"...the eternal Jewish wealth is when we ... bring into the world children and descendants who keep Torah and Mitzvos." (Hayom Yom)

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 01 2009 Posts: 8303

There are websites specifically designed to facilitate affairs. Facebook is not one of them. When someone is looking to have an affair they can easily do it without having a facebook account. They can also do it without the internet.
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Senior Member Joined: Jul 17 2011 Posts: 219

personally, I think whoever is defending facebook has an account and doesnt want to admit it...