Hugging and kissing teen son

Posted: Thu, May 17 2012, 12:55 pm Post subject: hugging and kissing teen son

Lately when I hug and kiss my 12 year old DS good night he buries his face in his pillow and only wants me to kiss his forehead or hair and not his cheeks. I was thinking that this is very normal and wondering what will happen as he gets older. If you have teen boys, how does your hugging and kissing them change, is it all of a sudden, is it natural, do you talk about it?

Posted: Thu, May 17 2012, 1:36 pm Post subject: re: hugging and kissing teen son

My teen son, has not let hugging and kissing of any type, this started when he was about 8. We shake hands now.

My middle son who is almost 10 allows hugs and kisses, kids are all different.

I would respect the child and find a different way to show affection.

Posted: Fri, May 18 2012, 8:27 am Post subject: re: hugging and kissing teen son

OP here.

So it's normal just to let DS take the initiative and respect whatever level of physical affection he wants? My DH still hugs and kisses his mother and I don't have brothers so I feel clueless! Question

Posted: Fri, May 18 2012, 9:21 am Post subject:

My DH used to kiss his mom on the lips (quick peck nothing more but still...) even after we got married. I told him it was soooooo weird and he stopped but every kid has their own comfort level.

Executive Member Joined: Jul 13 2009 Posts: 328

My 12 yr. old insists on a kiss on the cheek each night before he goes to bed and is happy to get hugs when he had a hard day. My 10 alomost 11 yr. old won't let me touch him. So, each to their own. (I do chase after my second son to kiss him good night anyway.)

Posted: Tue, Jan 22 2013, 2:56 pm Post subject: re: hugging and kissing teen son

My 15-year old son is taller than me, but wont leave the house in the morning without a kiss on the cheek. When I hug him, I try not to do it straight-on, but at an angle or sideways, so my chest isnt pressed up against his. I dont know if it would bother him or not, but I am trying to be sensitive to the hormone thing.

Executive Member Joined: May 14 2011 Posts: 332

I think its a teen thing and I would not push it if he doesnt like it but I think when he matures a bit you can go back to it. You can still be a warm Mommy for him without the kisses.

Moderator Joined: Aug 14 2005 Posts: 4549 Location: Ohio

I think you should let him set the boundaries. Actually, great teachable moment that he is allowed to say who touches him and how--no matter who they are.
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Posted: Tue, Jan 22 2013, 7:15 pm Post subject: re: hugging and kissing teen son

One of my brothers was very sensitive to this, and used to shake hands with my mother instead of a kiss. Smile

He did let his Babby kiss him on the yarmulka.

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 16 2007 Posts: 4185

Platinum Member Joined: May 07 2008 Posts: 8963

Your ds response is normal. Try subbing an affectionate mussing up his hair or a squeeze of the shoulder or pinch of the cheek or something so you give the physical expression of affection you crave without embarrassing your ds with your mushiness. If he objects even to that, well, it's his body, he gets to say who may touch him and how.

Posted: Wed, Jan 23 2013, 4:25 pm Post subject: re: hugging and kissing teen son

My DH kisses his mom every time we get together and I hope my kids do the same.

But I must be honest in my house my brothers will shy away when my mother wants to kiss them so I found it rather strange when DH did in the beginning.

Platinum Member Joined: Apr 06 2008 Posts: 5149