What do you think of this quote?

Posted: Wed, May 09 2012, 4:21 am Post subject: what do you think of this quote?

every time one door closes another one opens

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 3649

I think it's unrealistic to apply generalizations and cliches to actual real life situations.

If you want to ask if losing one opportunity means another one will come along - maybe yes, maybe no and I wouldn't count on it.

well it's a good motto to hold by in life
there's always opportunities everywhere
but you can't just sit around and wait for things to happen. you are the captain of your own ship

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 3649

Yes, we have free will and a certain amount of autonomy but if I am actually the captain of my ship I have to take into account my co-captain (DH) and my passengers (DC) and while I can do my best, tyhoons, hurricanes and icebergs will keep popping up and sometimes there will be nothing I can do about them. I may steer as hard as I can and still hit the iceberg. I may put life jackets on the DC but cannot guarantee that they won't take them off and throw themselves off the side of the ship.

And that's not even mentioning the pirates.

I think it is true. Literally. But not always what we see as "letovah".
The door closes on this life, opens on the world to come.
The door closes on health, opens on illness.
The door closes with the death of a loved one, the door opens to aveilus,

etc.
Aren't I in a great mood today?
_________________
"Olam Chessed Yiboneh", Tehilim 89.

I personally do not believe this quote holds true in life too often, or maybe its just true for some and not others.

I know that for me its more like: when one door closes, it slams in my face and the windows shatter in shock.

But I am sure for others this saying is very true. Not for me in my life though Sad

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13334

Hey, Freidasima, this version is for you: Whenever one door slams shut another one does too.
But hey, I'll jump off that bridge when I get to it.

Honestly, though, I think it's true but
- what is the source?
- if someone says it to you, consider that source and the spirit in which it's intended.
- if you feel it's helpful to say to someone take a minute to ponder just how trite and banal it sounds. Maybe there's another way to frame it. Look, if there's a chazal or pasuk in Mishlei or who knows what along those lines, then go for it. And if it's a chazal, there's a principle that "hu haya omer" means that he regularly said this because he lived it. Maybe there are some inspiring stories to draw from. (No magical hashgacha pratis stories that happened to someone's uncle's sister's teacher's best friend's neighbor's dog trainer, please.)
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The righteous praise and honor people for every good quality that is found in them while the wicked seek out faults in others to pull them down, even if they repented those deeds. (Rabbeinu Yonah, from Partners in Kindness)

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13334

P.S. Not that I'm knocking hashgacha pratis stories, but they have to be very carefully chosen.

Love you too Pink.

But hey now seriously, I'm not into that kind of Hashgocho protis either but one hedges one's bets so you never know.

Be careful with Mishlei, turns out that a lot of it may not be originally ours, but it sounds good so who cares. Kind of like Aesops fables but let's not go into what came before what.

Part of it is keeping oneself away from negative thought in the fear that there are self fulfilling prophecies.

And then there is the "who knows?" factor.

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13334

Interesting what you say about Mishlei. Now sit down for this, but I've not heard that Wink

But even so, I consider the source and that like the shepherd's tune, the thought's now ours.. At any rate, it has more cred than random bromides.

Silver Member Joined: May 01 2012 Posts: 640

Diamond Member Joined: Mar 29 2005 Posts: 3649

Diamond Member Joined: Oct 25 2007 Posts: 4915

I think it depends on the occasion and way in which the sentiment is incorporated.

Anyone who says such a thing to someone who has undergone even a minor disappointment or loss should receive lashes from Dear Abby's proverbial wet noodle. Even if the statement is literally or metaphorically true, a person experiencing disappointment is generally looking for a little empathy.

The best customer service experience I ever had was years and years ago: I ordered a watch from a catalog, and the box arrived chock-full of free samples -- but no watch. When I called the customer service line to report the problem, the representative said, "Oh, no! That must have been so disappointing. You were all excited to get the box, and all that was inside was a bunch of smelly perfume samples!" Just acknowledging my disappointment made such a difference. Of course, it wasn't the worst problem in the world -- I knew that! But just getting that empathy was almost as good as getting the watch.

So dismissing someone's legitimate disappointment -- even over a minor matter -- is cruel and ineffective.

On the other hand, the Noviminsker Rebbe, sh"lita, says that the greatest affliction of our generation is cynicism and the temptation to focus on the negative in every situation. It's not cool to be an optimist. So I do think that we should surround ourselves and our children with these little nuggets of wisdom on a daily basis. Being positive is a habit, and the more opportunities and reminders you have on a daily basis to look for good rather than bad -- the better.

Diamond Member Joined: Sep 16 2007 Posts: 4185

well, Rebbeitzin Tzippora Heller agrees with this quote - she says that even if you "mess up", H' will open up for you another opportunity, a chance to fix your mistakes.
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The results of our actions are not up to us or even necessarily a direct consequence of them. The only thing that's really in our power is our perspective, that everything that happens is for the (our) good.

Platinum Member Joined: Mar 12 2009 Posts: 13334

Well it is just a saying that is trying to promote positive thinking. If that does cause you to think positively then it could improve your mood, improving how you perform at a job interview etc. etc. JMHO