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| merelyme |
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 Posted: Mon, May 07 2012, 1:16 am Post subject: re: Step DD to live with us? |
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Telling a 20-year-old who's not shomer Shabbos that she cannot move into your home is not the same as kicking out a child who has been living in your home.
You can go out of your way to have her over, take her places, spend time with her and build a great relationship with her - without having her actually move in.
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| shalhevet |
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| Posted: Mon, May 07 2012, 1:33 am Post subject: Re: re: Step DD to live with us? |
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| merelyme wrote: | Telling a 20-year-old who's not shomer Shabbos that she cannot move into your home is not the same as kicking out a child who has been living in your home.
You can go out of your way to have her over, take her places, spend time with her and build a great relationship with her - without having her actually move in. |
 :
Having thought about this overnight, I agree.
The posters here who said you don't throw out a OTD child - that is a completely different situation (and one which also needs advice from mechanchim and rabbanim what to do). Here your step-daughter is suddenly coming into your life - no one is throwing her out of anywhere. I wonder if people here have also considered what it might mean for a young Israeli to come to America - America is seen in Israel as the land of endless gashmi opportunities, earning lots of money, having a good time. Not the sort of place someone seeking something spiritual or anywhere near it is headed (not to say it can't happen).
I also wonder about those who think a 12 year old who is "strong in her yiddishkeit" is going to be immune to the influence of her older sister. Most 12 year olds are not strong at all, and are much more susceptible to peer pressure than anything else. It is only natural that she admire and look up to her big sister - and who knows where that admiration will lead? I am really surprised at some of the responses here - do the people writing this think you can make a 12 year old strong in her yiddishkeit to the point that Mesilas Yesharim will influence them more than their best friend? Or do they not think that yiddishkeit is that important? Because, honestly, I think you have much more chance that your dd will end up behaving like her big sister than the other way around.
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| Starhavah |
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| Posted: Tue, May 08 2012, 12:48 am Post subject: re: Step DD to live with us? |
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| thanks everyone for your input.
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