Are we allowed to say?

Posted: Thu, Apr 26 2012, 7:57 pm Post subject: Are we allowed to say?

I always see posted on Imamother all kinds of questions regarding different topics. My question is are we allowed to answer some of them. I am reffering to the ones regarding certain doctors or certain shaitels or a playgroup ect.. I know that if say a doctor did something dangerous then maybe you can say but on this site most is just personal experience. I know that when someone even writes something like "he's good but doesn't have much of a personality" that affects if I will decide to use this doctor. A lot of the people we discuss on here are jewish and we can really affect their parnassa both for the good and for the bad. I feel like it's major L'H to even give a posotive or impartial opinion. Am I totally off?

Executive Member Joined: Jan 28 2009 Posts: 331

That's a kind question. I know I use this site because I feel I'll get good advice but (1) I don't necessarikly care about the same things that you do. For example, I have a dr who is extremely smart, a good diagnostician and very on top of my medical history. She also has a terrible personality but I still go because she's smart. A different person might care more about her personality and feel unable to talk to her and so not get good care.
(2) Many of us try to answer by telling about our own experiences with someone instead of generalizing "She's not good," "I heard that he's a crook," and so on.
(3) In the scheme of things, my dc's health (as an example) is most important and I value any info I get that might keep him from harm.
But you definitely raise a good question.

Platinum Member Joined: Nov 04 2008 Posts: 7921

So you're proposing that we make decisions with no information.

Great.
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Posted: Thu, Apr 26 2012, 8:13 pm Post subject: re: Are we allowed to say?

No I'm just saying that it's a very public forum and your "bad experience" or "could have been better" remark can really ruin someones whole life and business. It's just something to keep in mind next time we post. On a post I recently read about therapists someone wrote would not recommend _______ , no explanation or anything is that really fair to this therapist? these comments affect people.

Posted: Thu, Apr 26 2012, 8:16 pm Post subject: Re: re: Are we allowed to say?

Platinum Member Joined: Oct 14 2009 Posts: 5890

I don't think you're "totally" off. I also have my concerns. When I want info I generally request responses by PM because I think there is a problem with posting publicly but if you're considering doing business with someone than it's OK to seek information personally. Then, once you receive the information you need to remember to take it with a grain of salt because you are allowed to make smart decisions for yourself but not to actually believe that what you hear is definitely true.

I don't really have an issue with positive reports. I think starting a thread just to say good things about a specific person might be problematic, because it's almost like an invitation for dissidents, but in the cases where someone asks "Please recommend a good doctor" and people respond "I like Dr. Joe" and "We're happy with Dr. Harry" I think that's positive in a helpful way that isn't asking for trouble.

Gold Member Joined: Jan 12 2010 Posts: 2262 Location: US

I sort of agree with you. The problem is because this is internet and 1. things can be misread or misinterpreted. and 2. it's so so public and rumors can get out of hand.

Telling someone negative experiences is allowed in certain circumstances. But I think doing it in real life is much less harmful as there is a normal back and forth conversation and where the person can asks further questions etc. and the person can taylor the information specifically for that person.

I think also a negative experience can be the customer's fault sometimes and it's easier to pick that up in real life.

Silver Member Joined: Dec 17 2011 Posts: 594

If someone asks me if I was happy with a certain doctor, morah etc. I am supposed to answer them honestly if I have personal experience. That DOESN'T mean I can give negative info to a hundred other people who didn't ask. So keep in mind that if you post negative info, its L"H to anyone but the OP who asked the question. If you don't want to be ovehr L"H hundreds of times an hour, you should PM the negative info.

The internet is a VERY efficient way to collect aveiros